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Original poster

Poo emergency

157 replies

Whattttttttttdoido · 04/11/2023 06:43

Posting here for traffic as I'm desperate and don't know what to do.

Went out last night with my friend, 3 other women and my friends boyfriend. We have all crashed at her boyfriends house who I don't know well and who has 3 house mates (2 men and a woman).

I can feel what is sure to be REALLY FUCKING BAD DIARRHOEA bubbling around my stomach. I tried to sneak a fart out and a bit of liquid came out. I went to the loo and cleaned myself up, and while I was there noticed there is no toilet roll.

The bathroom is between 2 bedrooms of house mates that I do not know. The house is in complete silence.

Wtf do I do in this situation? I want to cry I have considered just leaving the house but I have no idea where I'd even go I'm not familiar with this area at all.

Please help!

OP posts:
Chromium24 · 04/11/2023 18:17

mrssausage23 · 04/11/2023 18:13

I wondered how long before someone shouted poo troll. How sad that grown women can't discuss normal, bodily functions without being accused of being some sort of deviant. It's one of my pet peeves on MN because it's so bloody childish!

very true, its like you can have x view and all other views are omg

Chromium24 · 04/11/2023 18:16

wet wipes ? @Whattttttttttdoido

mrssausage23 · 04/11/2023 18:13

I wondered how long before someone shouted poo troll. How sad that grown women can't discuss normal, bodily functions without being accused of being some sort of deviant. It's one of my pet peeves on MN because it's so bloody childish!

Defactothematter · 04/11/2023 18:10

Let it out slowly? Not a phrase I’d ever associate with diorreah

saffronsoup · 04/11/2023 18:09

Run the taps. Put toilet paper in the toilet, squirt in a couple pumps of hand soap. Let it all exit you and flush just as you finish while still sitting on the throne. Clean up. Put more hand soap in the toilet and use the brush if necessary. Flush again. Wash your hands with lots of soap lather to get the fresh soap scent into the air.

Someone with IBS!

LuciaPillson · 04/11/2023 18:07

For anyone with chronic bowel problems, I know a lot of jokes are made about them but there's no shame in using adult nappies when going out. Takes some of the stress away. Even a really big, long sanitary pad is better than nothing. Also carrying own supplies of loo roll, wipes, spare pants etc. But if like OP it's unexpected... not a fun situation. As for Imodium it just depends on what is causing the diarrhea.

Rpture · 04/11/2023 18:06

The rapture is nigh.

LaMadameCholet · 04/11/2023 18:03

I would strongly suggest not feeding any poo trolls.

BigSwiss · 04/11/2023 17:47

For anyone who needs to know this, if you light a match, it neutralises the smell - it's the ignition, not the flame itself. Glad you got sorted!

Carrotcake93 · 04/11/2023 17:40

My grandmother taught my father that shitting in someone else's house is a lack of respect, and my father has passed it on to me, unintentionally but he has done it. So I'm definitely the one who would have gone to shit on the street.

TheHawkisHowling · 04/11/2023 17:36

CIRCE CARE Pee Cloth: Silver Infused Pee rag for Women who Pee Outdoors, Reusable Absorbent Wipes, Eco-friendly alt. to Toilet Paper, Hygienic Female Urination Solution for Camping, Hiking, Travel. https://amzn.eu/d/abWs378

These are good to keep in your handbag. They're meant for a wee but would work in an emergency for a poo. I go to a lot of venues with no loo roll so it's a godsend.

Also, a box of matches is all you need to get rid of smells. Just light one after you've been.

FreeRider · 04/11/2023 17:29

Poo troll strikes again.

Guesswho88 · 04/11/2023 17:28

Only vaguely related but I clean houses as a little side job and for the past 3 Wednesday mornings I've really had to go (number 2) at this ladies house that I start at half past 10. It's always as soon as I get there as well not near the end so I can't wait. I feel so bad cos it just doesn't seem right as I'm going there to clean (bathroom included)😂

She lives in a small bungalow as well so I have to try and time it for when she takes the dog out or is talking to her partner with the TV on.

Inastatus · 04/11/2023 17:28

@RJ2023 yep, it was brilliant. I’ve got very fond memories of my nights there 😀

RJ2023 · 04/11/2023 17:26

Sorry - I am derailing the thread - but @Inastatus - it was the most fantastic place ever. The bloke on the acoustic guitar would always finish with American Pie and then "show me the way to go home" :)

Guesswho88 · 04/11/2023 17:24

Just make your excuses/tell them you're not feeling very well and leave. I realise this was was started this morning so I imagine you've sorted it now.

Inastatus · 04/11/2023 17:20

@RJ2023 - I worked in Southampton during the 90’s and I used to love the Frog and Frigate. I remember dancing on the tables and people spilling their beer everywhere 😅

Fernsfernsferns · 04/11/2023 17:18

Whattttttttttdoido · 04/11/2023 13:52

I wouldn't have imagined that a thread about my diarrhoea would open me up to snarky comments about my age and the type of night out I might choose to have. Actually hilarious.

Immodium is also a great idea. This has NEVER happened to me before in quite this fashion so I was not prepared at all. This will be the story that means I now always will be 😅

No immodium is a terrible idea.

as unpleasant as it is, if your body needs to get rid of something diarrhoea is one way it does that.

using drugs to keep it inside you is really risky.

i know someone that became seriously unwell (with long term consequences) due to taking immodium.

bringing some flushable wipes or tissues / napkins of your own when staying somewhere else could be a better option

Chellybelle · 04/11/2023 17:13

You said you cleaned yourself after you farted and leaked. Just go to the toilet and do whatever you did then.

RJ2023 · 04/11/2023 17:10

Jesters and The Hobbit - drinking in a half demolished building! So many memories :)

Flipdiddle · 04/11/2023 17:05

RJ2023 · 04/11/2023 16:41

I don't want to derail the thread (I am happy to take this to PM) - but do you remember the The Crown around the back of the Physics department? Such good food! And a pub called "The Frog & Frigate" where a guy played the acoustic guitar all night? Normally finishing with American Pie? As I say - don't want to derail the thread! :)

Neither

It was about the academy, jesters and weatherspoons I’m afraid!

MilkWithTheBiscuits · 04/11/2023 17:05

RubyBoozeDay · 04/11/2023 16:59

I'm bemused as to why a grown woman needs to ask the internet what to do when they need to move their bowels. Are they a fetishist posting? There seems to be an almost toddler-like fascination with urine and faeces here sometimes.

Can people not just take life too seriously? Whilst I have idea if the OP was actually in this situation or not, people do prefer to share stories like this to help lighten the mood. It’s not so much a ‘fascination’ but just realising that everyone does it so why be so uptight about it

Flipdiddle · 04/11/2023 17:05

RubyBoozeDay · 04/11/2023 16:59

I'm bemused as to why a grown woman needs to ask the internet what to do when they need to move their bowels. Are they a fetishist posting? There seems to be an almost toddler-like fascination with urine and faeces here sometimes.

And yet you were drawn to click on a thread with the title “poo” in it

RubyBoozeDay · 04/11/2023 16:59

I'm bemused as to why a grown woman needs to ask the internet what to do when they need to move their bowels. Are they a fetishist posting? There seems to be an almost toddler-like fascination with urine and faeces here sometimes.

DysmalRadius · 04/11/2023 16:58

Remember that poor person that grounded a flight and made international news with their diarrhoea situation. I'm sure many of us can feel 'lucky' in comparison with fairly tame non-international-incident-causing poops!!