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AIBU?

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Original poster

Three Crumpets

137 replies

LadyMacB · 03/11/2023 22:56

AIBU or is there an unwritten rule that you eat crumpets in pairs? DH occasionally has a single crumpet. They come in sixes, so that often leaves a random spare crumpet that can’t be paired up. He says it’s normal.

OP posts:
Canisaysomething · 04/11/2023 01:19

I sometimes have one and feel smug that I’m reserved and healthy. But ultimately the feeling of off balance prevails and I return to the kitchen and toast another about half an hour later.

It’s like going to the pub for one drink, it’s possible but fundamentally life is too short not to give into temptation of having a 2nd.

CallieQ · 04/11/2023 01:10

YABU to call them crumpets, they are Pikelets and can be eaten in any quantity

Nooo pikelets are flat

CallieQ · 04/11/2023 01:08

This. Why would a crumpet automatically need to be 'paired up'?

Otherwise it may get lonesome

Spirallingdownwards · 04/11/2023 01:06

RedHelenB · 03/11/2023 22:58

Two slots in a toaster means two crumpets as far as I'm concerned. But then I always have 2 slices of toast too.

Four slots in my toaster

AIstolemylunch · 04/11/2023 01:05

We get 9 packs. I usually have 1, but sometimes have 3. I rarely have 2. When they run out, I go to the shop and buy more <shrug>

LoreleiG · 04/11/2023 01:02

I have one, but as a sort of biscuit alternative with a cup of tea rather than as a meal. I had never even considered having two but now…

Alargeoneplease89 · 04/11/2023 00:57

If one is left as a Billy no mates, just freeze it so next time that situation arises you then have a pair or DH can have his single one

RoomOfRequirement · 04/11/2023 00:43

I can eat 4 happily.

If you're only eating 1 what's the point even eating. Go smell some lettuce.

WednesdaysChild50 · 04/11/2023 00:39

they are gross the texture is weird

VivienneDelacroix · 04/11/2023 00:36

LikeRobbieSays · 03/11/2023 23:11

YABU to call them crumpets, they are Pikelets and can be eaten in any quantity

This is obviously not true. Crumpets are fat and chewy, pikelets have no rising agent and are flat and delicious. My credentials are being from Stoke where as a child I enjoyed hot pikelets fresh from the oatcake shop. (M&S Pikelets are an inferior sub-standard affair, but are at least the correct depth).

Anyway, the correct number of crumpets is zero. Correct number of pikelets is any even number. Not 1, not 3.

SplendidUtterly · 04/11/2023 00:30

Depends on the brand. Some are so small that 3 are equal to two slices of bread sonetimes.
Eat however many you want and just enjoy 🙂

Itsbecauseiamamumandlovethem · 04/11/2023 00:28

takealettermsjones · 03/11/2023 23:04

This is the real problem. It's like leaving the toilet seat up. Rude.

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My husband is guilty of both! Toaster and loo seat !!

RubyWinehouse · 04/11/2023 00:27

I raged with anger when I bought a pack of 9 crumpets when my stepson was staying with us, I envisaged 2 each for ss, dh and me, and 3 left over, but no, dh and ss had 4 each and left me 1! Utter bastards!

FrostieBoabby · 04/11/2023 00:24

AlwaysPrettyOnTheInside · 04/11/2023 00:16

Have you tried to teach your ds to consider others, and not take more than a fair amount?

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No, he has 2 sometimes and 1 other times, not 3 together, heck that would never work with the Toaster! DH is a 2 at a time kinda guy so DS is the guilty party.

Crumpets are a fastest finger first snack in the general free for all cupboard (hence, not my posh chocolate and equally posh fresh orange area in the fridge that is off limits). Two left is fine, none left is fine but one left does my head in.

AlwaysPrettyOnTheInside · 04/11/2023 00:16

FrostieBoabby · 04/11/2023 00:13

Yes, it's so annoying as I'm the one who always ends up with 1 crumpet after DH has 2, DS has 3.

And, don't get me started on Weetabix etiquette....

Have you tried to teach your ds to consider others, and not take more than a fair amount?

JudgeJ · 04/11/2023 00:15

LikeRobbieSays · 03/11/2023 23:11

YABU to call them crumpets, they are Pikelets and can be eaten in any quantity

Warbies say crumpets so that's good enough for me!

Been eating warbies crumpets for many years, long before they became so nationwide. I like to toast them under the grill, the toaster doesn't seem to work.

FrostieBoabby · 04/11/2023 00:13

Yes, it's so annoying as I'm the one who always ends up with 1 crumpet after DH has 2, DS has 3.

And, don't get me started on Weetabix etiquette....

AlwaysPrettyOnTheInside · 04/11/2023 00:10

Confused I'm sure she doesn't get a ruler and weighing scales out either, just snaps it in half ConfusedConfused

KingsleyBorder · 04/11/2023 00:07

AlwaysPrettyOnTheInside · 03/11/2023 23:59

She touches whatever it is with her hands and then puts the other half back no doubt. That's why these people should be shot. She should keep the other half on her desk for later.

It's like those disgusting fucking people that start touching up and cutting doughnuts or cake in half and leave the touched half for someone else. On what planet do they think someone else will want that?

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But they don’t break evenly by hand.

theduchessofspork · 03/11/2023 23:59

LadyMacB · 03/11/2023 23:03

The other issue I have is people who turn up the toaster to 6 to do crumpets but don’t turn it back down, meaning that whoever comes next incinerates their toast.

That must be annoying, but I think it’s relatively minor compared to the issue of (otherwise civilised) friends who will offer a crumpet and then ONLY toast it for as long as you would a slice of toast. So it smells yeasty and is only 30% as nice as it should be. This stuff is serious.

AlwaysPrettyOnTheInside · 03/11/2023 23:59

KingsleyBorder · 03/11/2023 23:54

There's a lady at work who only ever has half of anything.
…

So then there's half a digestive left in the tin, what is wrong with these people???

How does she even divide them in 2? You can’t use a knife and they don’t break evenly.

Edited

She touches whatever it is with her hands and then puts the other half back no doubt. That's why these people should be shot. She should keep the other half on her desk for later.

It's like those disgusting fucking people that start touching up and cutting doughnuts or cake in half and leave the touched half for someone else. On what planet do they think someone else will want that?

KingsleyBorder · 03/11/2023 23:54

There's a lady at work who only ever has half of anything.
…

So then there's half a digestive left in the tin, what is wrong with these people???

How does she even divide them in 2? You can’t use a knife and they don’t break evenly.

MaggieBsBoat · 03/11/2023 23:52

Anything fewer than three at a sitting is a disgrace!

NepheliLoux · 03/11/2023 23:51

What’s wrong with only one paracetamol?

AdaColeman · 03/11/2023 23:25

Those sad single crumpets...mix up a bowl of beaten egg & milk as for eggy bread....put the lone crumpet in the bowl and leave to soak up the eggy goodness....then fry it gently till golden. Not only is it delicious, but also you've rescued an abandoned crumpet.

Crumpets and pikelets are two completely different things.