School putting parents down

Reading is the priority, unless they are seriously underweight, forgetting a snack isn't an issue. Schools can't really win though, reading only twice a week will stunt progress then parents moan (not you op necessarily but some would) sure dad can do some of the reading when he gets home

My job is hugely flexible so I collect my daughter from school everyday. However when I have a busy week and she’s at after school club there’s absolutely a difference in her spelling results that week.

You have a DH. How much of this is he doing?

I wonder do teachers notice any difference between childrens results with parents not working/working part time/ working full time/ working an insanely stressful job.

Honestly, there is no evidence to show that primary school children doing homework is beneficial and no reason at all for parents to be expected to make costumes for them. Have them read to you when you have time but I personally think that it is equally important that you read stories with them (eg at bedtime) and make sure that they enjoy looking at books and being read to. My two children are amazing readers but I certainly didn't sit with them every night when they were young listening to them reading Biff and Chipper (or what ever the boring gits were called).

Snacks - put them out the night before and it won't be a hassle to remember them in the morning.

Just nod and say yes the next time that the teacher says anything. You are doing a fine job.

I don't remember having mid-morning snacks at school but I didn't die or anything.

It's funny how things change over the years.

Mine weren't even allowed snacks but they didn't need them anyway as school started at 9am, lunch was at 12 and it was home time at 3.10pm.

I’m a primary teacher and a full time working mum with a 2 year old and 4 year old. I get the pressure as a parent and I get the pressure as a teacher to ensure the parents are on board. I’m the one getting the reminder messages but I’m also the one sending them. Don’t take it personally OP, we’re all in the same boat, you’re doing a good job!

My Ds (9) refuses to take a snack for mid morning, so that’s that one out of the way. He likes to just have the milk.

Sounds like you’re doing really well OP! Don’t be hard on yourself. It’s the school’s job to remind people I guess, but yours to be confident enough to know you’re giving it your all.

Im a single parent and your day-today life / chores sound a lot like mine.

Took reading the pps’ posts to realise there should be a husband taking up some of this work in your set up!

I never remembered snacks. They didn’t starve to death or eat their pencils.

Sadly true, no idea if the teacher was a parent or not. I do know they weren’t far of retirement. I thought they were out of touch with the real world.

i read 3 days out of 5 as worked two and a half days, which meant dd went to after school care twice a week, by the time we got home it was gone 6pm. With a 7pm bed time it didn’t leave enough time.

My child gets hot lunches but I have to provide a fruit snack for breaktime every day. At about 10am most schools have a short break time for children to run around/use the loo/eat a snack. It has to be fruit at my child's school.

Yea... except 90% of all primary school staff are working mothers so I call bs on that "story".

You’re doing great.

but reading is so important. Cut the baths to a couple of times a week and make sure you heat them read every night even if just 2 or 3 pages. It makes a massive difference!

Well i have to say i dont think reading twice a week, especially with the 5 yo is neatly enough.The craft stuff doesnt matter but reading does

@WillowCraft. I have no reason to lie or make stuff up

don't believe everything you read on here....extremely doubt this happened.

I was told at parents evening by the teacher, that if I choose to work then my dd would suffer…

Wtf? That's a totally unacceptable thing for the teacher to say! Would she have said that to your dd's father? I doubt it...

And just to add, I only have one child (although a single parent)... I have no clue how people manage with more than one school age child... So kudos xx

Having a chat the other day with my daughters teacher about the issues I've been having getting her ready and her tantrums over food/breakfast and apologised for not fitting in reading this week... She replied "sometimes we do life" in a completely non plussed way... I was so grateful. Do what you can and don't take it to heart xx

I was told at parents evening by the teacher, that if I choose to work then my dd would suffer…

my reply was a very calm

i choose to keep a roof over my child’s head

i was taken straight to the heads office 😂

the head teacher was clearly uncomfortable 🥴

Teachers withhold NOTHING about parents own children. Why should they divulge private information about other children…what an abhorrent idea

Schools can put a massive pressure on to parents, which is most unwelcome and unattainable when both parents work and/or there are other family commitments to consider.

My honest thoughts are to pick the important things to partake in and not give a second thought about the others. Not all kids will partake in all things. One of my kids had 7 dress ups in an 8 week half term, I mean really? Reading ✔️ snacks - do they want snacks? Are they provided? Do they supply toast? Dress ups - pick what they want to do. Maybe have a chat to the other parents and the teaching staff about the unwelcome additional pressure on already pressured parents. Inevitably, the additional burden is placed on mums not dads, but don't start me on that one...

Reading each day needs to be the priority, even if other stuff falls by the wayside.

Apologies, this is not a personal attack and I’m sure your baby is adored by all of you, but I do sigh on other ‘Should I have a third baby?’ MN threads as this is an example of a situation where you are clearly under strain and stretched a little thin. Let alone working full time! I don’t know how you’re doing it. But the things being mentioned by school are important. They aren’t saying them to get at you but because they are there to have your DCs’ best interests at heart.

It is a lot for any set of parents (mums, dads, anyone in a parenting role) to do but obviously it gets harder when you take more on, whether that is a larger family, full time work or anything else that takes up time and energy.

There is a sort of myth that parents (particularly mothers) are infinitely expandable but I don’t think it does anyone any favours.