Received a strange request in the post

Of course it's about the OP. It's her home and safe place.

I too would have serious concerns about this, but think I would agree.

I would probably not be there but get a friend to show her around, request that the visitor didn't discuss anything. Quick look round and leave.

Would not want to meet her and see her reactions.

I'd let her. Someone I know is unable to visit the town she grew up in, even to visit family members, as it is too triggering of memories of the eating disorder she had when living there. A process like this could be very healing for her - presuambly the therapy practice is to in some way break the connection between place and trauma for her.
She isn't trying to taint the house! Whatever has happened there already happened, along with countless other things none of us has a clue about in th history of our homes. I can't imagine she will want to share the details with you, but you copuld be clear with her that you don't want to know, if that makes you feel more comfortable.

Once you are fully satisfied that she is who she says she is, I would facilitate it, fully supervised.

She has written a very respectful letter and if it would help, I don't see a reason not too.

What are your concerns if you will be there?

She can't taint your house. Her experience in the property and yours are completely different and seperate. They don't cross over. One ended before the other began.

I don't imagine she'd want to talk about it. If a visit was permitted, it should probably be with the understanding that no conversation is necessary.

I don't think I would do this (ask to visit), but have certainly myself scouted out a particular house on Google Earth & Streetview to see how I felt looking at it now. I would feel too exposed to make contact with the current owners though: it's a brave move.

Sometimes in therapy you have to ride out to meet the memories in order to make the fear go away. I would be moved to assist her, particularly since you can actually identify her as a previous occupant.

She could have just turned up at the front door. I think she's been very respectful.

10 minutes of my life to help someone overcome possibly a lifetime of trauma? My door would be wide open

I would let her come.

If your DH is fine with it, then have him let her look around while you are out (if possible). Grab a coffee somewhere, it will be soon done.

If it were me, I would make sure DH said goodbye at the end of the viewing time and tactfully added that you wish her well, but that no further viewings will be made.

I would find it very tricky to welcome a stranger at my door knowing that they had written to me about suffering trauma. The immediate thought is of course child sexual abuse. It would feel wrong to act all breezy but obviously even more wrong to ask any questions.

But if genuine it does seem a nice thing to do to help.

How about this:

1. ask to speak to the therapist, not about the client’s confidential information but to confirm they have suggested this.
2. say that she and the therapist can come at a time of your choosing.
3. say the therapist should ring the bell, while client waits out of sight. You will open door and go into your back garden. You do not want to meet the client.
4. There will be cameras in the house.
5. no going into bedrooms.

I think I’m with your husband on this one. It can only taint your home if you let it, she isn’t going to wander around saying this happened here and that there. She will likely be in quiet contemplation as she walks the house.

I don't think I'd be happy having a stranger walking round my house tainting it.

How on earth would they be ‘tainting it’? Get a grip 🙄

I’d help her all I could. Thinking she could “taint” your home seems a bit judgemental.

Strange take on it, I think it reveals more about those who would turn the writer of the letter away for fear of "tainting" their home have a lot more to worry about than those who would let her in!

Do you not see the irony in your post regarding lack of empathy?

We had this in a house - beautiful place but I absolutely hated couldn’t wait to leave - so much negativity in it 😐 - anyway the ch who lived there came and we let them have a wander around - they were upset but said it helped them enormously - 👍🏿☘️

This. It would take a cold hearted person to make this all about them. We all know bad things happen in houses, particularly older houses which may have seen deaths, abuse, sadness etc. You would be naive to think your home had probably not been 'tainted' in some way by something in the past.

If you can spare the 10 minutes then this would probably make all the difference to her with very little effort from yourself

If it was me, I would allow her to visit without hesitation.

I would but only if I had the therapists details and fully checked out their authenticity.

I would do it if I was capable of dealing with it mentally.

If it is something you are going to watch it could be quite traumatic. Who knows how this person is going to react. So I would be prepared for that.

It does seem a bit off for a therapist to encourage something like this though. Especially since it might not be attainable, and therefore the patient might become completely focused and unable to move on because something they are encouraged to feel is necessary is out of reach.

I am not an expert on such issues though.

I'd let her come round and get your DH to show her round if you don't want to know anything about it or think you'd be upset by her trauma.

I showed a former tenant of my flat around a couple of months ago. He rang on the doorbell with his young son on the day of the coronation with no notice (and I was in my dressing gown and PJs at midday). I know its different but it was no skin off my nose.

Very good suggestion. I was going to suggest she goes to the house with the same layout (neighbours who knew her when she lived there?), and pretend it was her former home.

it’s been suggested to her by a professional.

I would seriously doubt that.

i’m really shocked at the lack of empathy on display here. How can you say so certainly this won’t affect OP? To believe this, you have to be someone able to shrug off the pain of others, and also believe that everybody is else is the same as you too.

The posters who have come on here to abuse OP (particularly over one probably slightly clumsily worded phrase) because this would be absolutely fine for them are revealing quite a lot about themselves.

Why do you think she’s trying to taint the house for you? She’s clearly trying to work through a horrible time in her life and it’s been suggested to her by a professional. I wouldn’t hesitate to say yes, if it could help her, what’s 10 mins of your life

In a world now full of scammers I think you are right to be a little apprehensive about this even if you know she previously lived in your house, at the end of the day that means nothing, you have no idea who she is other than that.

I would go with the advice of others here, ask for the details of the therapist, check them out first and make sure they are genuine, have a chat with them and confirm they are onboard with it. If that all checks out then it would be a little bit of human kindness to allow her in, it could be the final piece of the jigsaw that she needs on her journey to heal.

The problem is. Does OP really know who she is.
All she has is a name….that really means nothing.

I had a guy at my door asking to read the meter. He had ID and the right clothes all official looking. I didn’t let him in as I had just sent a meter reading so thought it was odd. I phoned EDF and they confirmed no readings were being done in our area. So what was he up to.
Another occasion was some guy claiming out of the goodness of his companies heart they were checking to see if our solar panels ( installed by another company) had been installed correctly. Hello! he didn’t get entry either although he was flabbergasted I would allow him in as ‘everyone else has’.

How do you know you are 'helping someone heal?' What if, in fact, this supposed altruistic deed were to lead to actual physical harm to the person you're trying to help?

Do you know what it is to do battle with cPTSD? To suffer flashbacks? To deal with the severest symptoms of a condition that can, when it really takes a hold, mimic some of the symptoms of dementia, like a short-term memory loss so severe that you forget what you're saying to another person mid-sentence?

I know. And let me assure you this is a terrifying place to be.

Just maybe, ceding to this 'unusual request' on the OP's part would be the absolute opposite of 'kind'.

And in the requester's position, as someone who's well-versed on the subject of trauma, I would not put anyone - least of all a complete stranger - in such a position.

OP - always listen to your instincts. If you think something's 'off', it possibly is.