Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend

33 replies

Kleeklee86 · 01/11/2023 09:36

So I’ve been with my bf for two years I struggle to talk about certain things including money, I’m struggling atm he buys grocery’s every week but I’m paying for rent etc, this hadn’t been a problem for me up until a few months back when I had to pay out money regularly now I’m feeling like I’m working to live! My moods have changed because of this and he says I take it out on him I don’t argue or shout just go into quiet mode and don’t want to talk?? I feel like just saying shall we go out deprecate ways then??

OP posts:
jazzyfips · 01/11/2023 10:03

If you can’t communicate, it’s probably best to go your separate ways.

Hiddenvoice · 01/11/2023 10:01

Are you both living together? If she can the bills be split more evenly?

I think he has a bit of a point, at some point you’ll need to talk and explain things and this can be done without arguing and shouting. Going quiet and then being a little distant isn’t really healthy.

If you’re struggling with your mental health do you have anyone else to talk to?
Are you happy with him? If so can you two work this out and split the bills and shopping more evenly so you’re not feeling as pressured and stress. Try explain that you feel you’re barely getting by and doing a lot,
he may be quite understanding. If you’re not happy
and its your place, then end the relationship and look at your finances to see what can change.

HerMammy · 01/11/2023 10:00

@Ponoka7
What do you do, pop the heating on and hand him £10? and he accepts it? Odd

NoodleNuts · 01/11/2023 09:56

As above really, are you living together and are you both working?

If so, then why aren't you splitting the bills/groceries equally? You do need to talk to him about it if this is the case, rather than go moody and expect him to be a mind reader and know why.

If you don't live together, you need to explain to him that you are stressed about money.

Sexlivesofthepotatomen · 01/11/2023 09:45

OK, what do you both earn and what do you both pay for ?

Ponoka7 · 01/11/2023 09:42

Do you actually live together, joint names on tenancy etc? I stay in my boyfriend's house, I only buy food and if I want the heating on when he doesn't, I pay then, because it isn't my house, I don't live there. I did buy new blinds, hoover, storage etc because it is what I wanted.

Coffeerum · 01/11/2023 09:42

I don't really understand your post, are you living with him and paying all the rent?
Or are you just going through a stressful financial time individually and he feels you take all your stresses out on him?
Regularly going quiet, not talking and then threatening a breakup is quite an immature response to anything.

GrazingSheep · 01/11/2023 09:38

If your can’t talk then maybe separating is best for both of you.