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AIBU?

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Original poster

Kindly...

35 replies

MasterBeth · 29/10/2023 21:45

Am I Being Unreasonable to think that starting your post with "Kindly," does not absolve you from being mean and cruel, and often suggests you are about to be?

("Kindly, you are a wretched human being with terrible ways and appalling instincts." etc)

OP posts:
honeylulu · 29/10/2023 22:49

I agree that "kindly" is supposed to infer a tone of well-meaningness which might otherwise be construed as critical or bossy.
Though it often has the effect of sounding patronising instead. Sometimes I think the poster might as well have said "patronsingly" rather than "kindly".

AutumnFroglets · 29/10/2023 22:27

I used it this week to someone asking for advice. It's hard to get tone across in an emotional post so I was using it to say that I wasn't being mean or goady but was trying to explain something difficult without the nuance of voice or facial movements(?). And yes, the phrase therapy was used a lot by other posters. It was that sort of thread.

donquixotedelamancha · 29/10/2023 22:24

It's the same as writing 'polite notice' before an instruction. The very fact you have chosen to insist you are being polite, makes it rude.

I think it's probably getting worse because more and more posters take offence when none is offered and characterise disagreement as cruelty.

mollypuss1 · 29/10/2023 22:24

No offense but (insert something really offensive)

GoingDownLikeBHS · 29/10/2023 22:23

My dentist does "gentle reminders", you get a text message. "Gentle text message". Anyway. Kindly, but we were talking about posts on MN. There's a special kind of kindly and gently for MNetters.

GoingDownLikeBHS · 29/10/2023 22:21

Kindly OP, it does. Particularly if you want to suggest that the OP might have mental health issues, or gaslight them. E.g., "I'm worried about my DC for x y z reasons". Reply "Kindly, OP, I wish to patronise you as you are clearly a shit parent who worries too much and I'm much better than you" - that sort of thing.

DelurkingAJ · 29/10/2023 22:20

Along with ‘no disrespect meant but…’ which is ALWAYS followed by someone being blooming rude.

DilemmaDelilah · 29/10/2023 22:19

I loath 'with respect' - there is never any respect involved. It is just a way of saying something really rude. I don't really hear 'kindly' used, but it seems to be used in exactly the same way.

With respect - keep your kindly comments to yourself! (Not you OP, obviously).

Pulverised · 29/10/2023 21:51

I also hate these ‘gentle reminders’ we are getting at work these days. Vaguely passive aggressive. Just tell us to do it!

wesurecouldstandgladioli · 29/10/2023 21:47

I’ve never seen a post start with kindly and actually be kind, so YANBU.

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