Am I overly kind or is this normal behaviour

Exactly, and she didn’t even need helping!

maybe he didn’t hear you properly the first time, or maybe, which I suspect would be obvious to anyone, he didn’t want to get all his clothes shit up while out for a nice day with his family? What a fucking monster..

some people just don’t like being told no, op is clearly one of those people that’s why instead of brushing it off seeing as it didn’t matter whether he ‘helped’ her or not, she’s here posting about it to MN, like she’s been massively wronged even though she had more help then she needed.

I really don’t understand why you’d rope strangers into getting dirty when you had someone helping you already anyway, I wouldn’t dream of putting anyone out in that way unless I really had to.

I’m invoking munsnet No is a complete sentence and the man declined to hoik a car out a ditch.
As a result mn sofa psychiatrists have him diagnosed as
bad un
rotter to his family & child
all that’s wrong with society
The recommendation partner should is leave him
He deserves his nuts cut off

utter mumsnet indignation

Terribly rude behaviour, but sadly I am seeing more and more of this now.

My guess is he does! The nasty guy will come out when the wife and or child push his buttons. My Nan used to say watch how a man treats others because that’s eventually how he’ll treat you when familiarity sets in. Or words to that effect!

Sadly I think with an attitude like his he probably does.

OMG I think I’ve got it!

If you’re all about manners why are you recommending berating an adult to elicit a response. Getting a person purposefully flustered to satisfy your need to get a response. To quote the great mn quip NO is a complete answer . Being a boorish over bearing bully by keeping asking is not a point scored for standards. Such hectoring is indicative of poor behaviour and insensitivity , now these may be your so called personal standards,but as a behaviour it’s lacking and rude. Makes one question your so called standards.

If you just want to walk away or ignore someone asking for help then that doesn’t entitle you to respect. I think a perfect response is to keep asking and make them articulate that no I actually won’t help. Which will have made him much more uncomfortable than just letting him walk away. A point scored for standards personally.

He's a rude arsehole. Its a shame for his wife and daughter. My DH would have been over helping you before you'd even asked. So would my dad or brother. That man is not the norm.

He sounds like a tosser. I'm sorry he didn't help you. What a crappy example to set for his kid.

Unrelated: when I first read your post I skim read it and stupidly thought you (as in you, as a person) were stuck in the mud rather than your car and it made the whole description a lot funnier

Not normal at all. I have had three situations where I had car trouble. In one I slipped on the gas pedal when parking and flew straight into a bush that I got stuck on. Before I could even think about what to do a truck with a couple of Hispanic guys drove over, hitched a rope to the back and pulled me out then disappeared off. They didn’t speak any English at all and didn’t wait for a proper thankyou, just genuinely kind people.

bext my battery wouldn’t start and a lollipop man went and got his battery starter from his car for me to use. When that didn’t work three other guys came over to try to figure out the problem. It wasn’t something they could fix, but they were very kind.

third time my tire blew. Before my husband could show up to pick me up a dude drove over and offered to change the tire for me. (We don’t learn to do that stuff on American driving tests, and I wouldn’t be able to anyhow as I have arthritis.)

I think most people are genuinely nice. I’ve been paying it forward by becoming a chauffeur to an elderly man near me who needs help getting groceries and prescriptions. I think if we all try a little to help others it is infectious. Shame that man you met wasn’t one of the good ones.

He was a fucking ass .

That’s sad. Really sorry you were stuck and REALLY sorry you encountered a horrible person, instead of a kind person! 💝

We bought a secondhand dishwasher the other weekend, I’m pregnant. So dh had it in the car and was ringing round to get a hand to bring it in the house. Eventually he just went onto the street and loitered until someone walked past, and asked them to give him a quick hand. They did. As would I or he have done in the same situation.
that guy was a dickhead. You’re not overly kind, you’re a normal human being 👍🏼

Oh gosh no, his behaviour wasn’t normal
at all! I would always help when asked and my husband (who is a lot more observant than me) will often spot people who need help and offer before he’s asked. It’s just being a good human and we are bringing our children up the same way.

He was probably pissed off about being there at all ! You see loads of men like this at this sort of event, don't want to be there, sulky and petulant, stomping around the place, but their insta or FB will show them beaming with their DC with the worlds biggest pumpkin, they then drive home in a massive huff !

He's a twunt. Doubt it's ever occurred to him that someone he cares about might need help in a similar situation

Me being ND is an invisible disability that means I wouldn't necessarily be polite in my response.

I'm not arguing, I'm just a bit non-plussed by the vitriol against the man - cut his balls off and all that. Why? Because he didn't help a stranger who already had help? It seems a bit of an extreme reaction to me.

So lots of people helped you, are they all "overly kind" as well? Surely it's obvious from the behaviour of these others that this man was in fact a massive twat and you are not in the minority?

Still no clue what you’re on about 🤷🏻‍♀️

You called me entitled and you got my response . Now you back up. That’s what I’m on about!

My point is this: Most autistic adults and many youngsters would acknowledge that they are not always picking up on social cues.

What are you on about? You are the one haranguing anyone for having a different opinion and then getting outraged about being ‘insulted’.

I would steer clear of you if you asked me for help.

It’s not entitled at all! If you are an adult who is ND you know your social cues will not pick up on the typically expected responses to situations such as OP describes. You don’t then argue over and over that everyone else is wrong, you realise that you may not have read the situation in a NT way. How dare you insult the majority of ND people in society.

My husband loves a damsel in distress 😉