TRIGGER- MC. Anyone up? Ectopic, surgery and feeling frantic about the future.

I spent my recovery re-reading the Harry Potter books and playing the games as well as playing other games I like. We also rewatched the films and watched other favourite films as well.

I indulged in various sweet treats - brownies, sweets etc. Basically the stuff I couldn't eat much of when pregnant.

We also named our baby and had a little memorial session with DH's priest. We gave our baby a nature name and bought some artwork featuring said natural feature and a Christmas decoration to commemorate them.

I had an ectopic. Tube removed but ovaries intact and other tube ok. The chance at another pregnancy is good in this scenario. I was more panicky that i could have left my DD motherless so i was grateful for the intervention. It took me not too late ng to recover but i do jump back quickly. I went too fast tbh. I was out hospital next day ..out and about day after and was really poorly after that. I was feeling better after a week. The anaesthetic made me really weepy and confused and youre post op so give it time for body to recover and anaesthetic to wear off properly. Little steps. ♥️. Once youre home and in your own environment its better. Its because the while process is so clinical. But if mentally your struggling theres help out there for baby loss...miscarriage .. ectopic.

I'm very sorry OP💐

I lost my right tube a year ago due to a ruptured ectopic when I was 34. Please don't panic about your fertility. Lots of women go on to have babies after an ectopic.

I have since conceived twice with only 1 tube - I conceived more quickly both times than I did when I had two tubes. The doctors who treated me say they've delivered lots of babies to women they've previously treated for ectopics.

When I had my surgery one of the nurses had 2 sons after her ectopic. One of the doctors was born after his mothers ectopic and also has a younger sibling.

The best advice I can give you is to give yourself time to heal, physically and mentally. The ectopic pregnancy trust are great - the helpline is staffed by women who have been through an ectopic pregnancy and you may benefit from speaking to someone else who has had the same experience. It's not an easy thing to deal with - I had a lot of anger - but it does get better, I promise.

I had an ectopic a month before I was scheduled in for investigative surgery for suspected endo. I only tested because of bleeding and pain so I had a feeling it wasn't going to end well and sure enough had it confirmed only 2 days after getting a positive test. Caught very early so I had a methotrexate injection and not surgery.

The investigative surgery got delayed for 2 months, but when it happened they found endo and removed it there and then. I was pregnant 3 months later, DD is now 5.

My friend also had an ectopic but the surgery as caught late. She also managed to get pregnant too so there is hope

How are you today @Herefordeals ? You’ll be on a physical and emotional rollercoaster. I really recommend the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust for support.

I'm so sorry for your loss, sending big hugs.

I had an ectopic pregnancy and left tube removed in Nov 2016. I fell pregnant naturally in April 2017 and have a 2 year old also. I think your chances to conceive naturally are only slightly reduced as the right tube will sweep over to get the egg which the left ovary releases, so you can still get pregnant on each cycle.

I think I took a month off work afterwards to recover physically, so you will definitely need some time off. Definitely give your body time to rest and recover before starting exercise, but speak to the doctor about it before you're discharged if you can.

My journey was very similar to yours and had a baby with just one tube.
The ectopic triggered an operation to look for endo and remove it. I had a successful pregnancy 4 months after this procedure so where you are now was the darkest time but it set me on a path to dd.
There is still a lot to hope for. I found drawing my sadness and anger helped. My dh found a lot of dark pictures in the bin! I hope you find something to help you too

@Herefordeals my obstetrician also told me that one fallopian tube can pick up an egg from the other side. My ectopic pregnancy was on the opposite side to the ovary that ovulated (they can tell by the corpus luteum)

I'm so sorry for your loss

Recovery wise mine ruptured on the Tuesday and I went back to work the following Monday - more for my own mental health than anything as I dont well being at home dwelling on things

Fertility wise I know lots of women who conceived with only one tube. For me it was more complicated and I did go on to lose my other tube a year later from another ectopic but thankfully later had success via IVF x

Yes, you only need one fallopian tube, it can move and pick up egg from either ovary. Only learned this when I had a c section and surgeon said I only had one fallopian tube- must have been born this way. So if you only have the tube removed then that ovary can still work. Our bodies are amazing. I only started trying in my late 30’s and welcomed our son just before my 39th birthday. Take care of yourself in the coming weeks and let your body and mind heal itself. xx

Hugs OP. Definitely take a couple of weeks off if you can, spend time doing things that make you happy and try not to let your head disappear into what ifs too much (easier said than done!).

I had an ectopic in my late 30s and lost a tube. Conceived DS2 3 months later (first month of trying).

The human body is amazing - when I had the 6 week ultrasound to make sure it wasn't another ectopic, they could see that I had last ovulated from the side without a tube - ie. my remaining tube had picked up the egg from the ovary on the other side! That's why fertility is better than 50% after loss of 1 tube - your body finds a way.

So sorry for your loss. I hope you have a speedy physical recovery and glad everything else is looking well.

Not the same situation but I had three losses, a life threatening first trimester mmc which just went disastrously wrong. A stillborn son after a horrendously difficult pregnancy and a second trimester mmc. I began to think it wouldn't happen for me.

We decided we would have one more try after a year out. I spent that year having counselling and doing lots of research. I looked into what vitamins were good for egg quality and supporting pregnancy. I researched progesterone and baby aspirin and I looked into things like womb scratches and loosely ivf, adoption and fostering. I wanted to know all of my options.

I started all the vitamins, conceived, started progesterone and baby aspirin and even though the pregnancy, delivery and recovery were horrendous by beautiful perfect dd is asleep next door!

Dont give up hope. Modern medicine is amazing. Give your mind and body chance to heal.

So sorry OP. My Sis had an ectopic pregnancy, then 1 tube removed. She got pregnant 2 years later and had a healthy baby boy. She has PCOS so always had fertility issues anyway and felt the chance of conceiving was very low. It goes to show you never can tell. Hope you feel much better soon

Hi OP,
I felt Exactly the same after my ectopic.
please take time to recover, I had surgery and rush back to work (I had 2 weeks off work) and into to much and I know realise it wasn’t the best thing, maybe not physically but more mentally.
i agree with another poster about planning a trip/some time with just you and your partner, we went on holiday about 5 weeks later and it really helped having some time together with no worries just the 2 of us.
we waited the recommended 3 months and on the 2nd month of try I fell pregnant with DS1. Less then a year later I fell pregnant with DS2 (the reason I’m currently awake at 3am)
I wish you all the best.
& also peppermint tea for the trapped wind and rest x

Also I'm here for you if you need to talk or have any questions, no matter how small!

First up, I'm so so sorry that you're going through this.
I've been in your exact shoes and it was the saddest time of my life.
My surgeon told me that the loss of a tube reduces your chances of conceiving by just 10%.
I had a naturally conceived, perfectly healthy baby boy 3.5 years after my ectopic.
You will recover... I promise it will be ok xx

I’m sorry you’ve experienced this. I had a ruptured ectopic that needed 8 hours of surgery followed by a long stay in ICU. Left side destroyed. My recovery was long, please be very gentle on yourself. My son was born 1.5 years later and I’ve been blessed with three more children following him.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I haven't had an ectopic but I had a MMC last month so I can relate to the loss of a very much wanted wee baby.

Your idea of focusing on your health and reading etc is a good one. That's what I did as I was physically recovering. I've been doing a paint by numbers and I've found that really good to distract myself.

Most of all I just want to say I'm so sorry and wish I could give you a big cuddle. Losing my baby has been the sorest thing I've ever went through and I wish you didn't have to go through it too.

You poor thing.

I am 7 years on from it now. My experience wasn’t the same as yours but I had a couple of traumatic hospital stays during that time of TTC. It’s awful and I really am so sorry you’re going through all this.

I did get fertility acupuncture which weirdly made me cry so much each session but also was like releasing this huge pressure and I always walked out lighter afterwards, almost giddy. And my work kindly funded therapy for me, it really does help talking to someone who isn’t involved in your life if you are able to afford/access it somehow.