Step children

One reason why I refused to date anyone with children, I would judge them for not putting their children first and would judge them for not putting me first so a poor bloke would never win 🤣

My cousins had a rough deal. Father married and had other children and apparently new wife didn't want their photos in the house. We also then found out all the money that family members had sent for their birthdays and Christmas was taken by their birth mum and they never saw it and thought they were forgotten about.

My mother called her parents out on another cousin who married a lady with a child and said they now had a new grandchild so get on board and treat them exactly as any other grandchild.

I had a STF i lost him this year and whilst as a preteen - teenager we may not have been close it kills me to think he may never have known how important he was to me.

She is the cat's mother. (Sorry, couldn't resist).

Edited as I missed the quote. Was meant to be a reply to "who is the dog's sister?"

Yeah, what a simplistic view of the situation. Unless you've been a step parent, you'll really never know how it feels. There are so many moving parts and often it's not even really about the kids, it's about the other factors (nightmare Exw/h, scheduling conflicts, in laws, housing, parenting choices ... the list goes on).

That last sentence is DISGUSTING what a nasty piece of work that woman is. Poor you and your poor mum and you poor sister having that cow for a mother.

Every situation is different. Adult step children can be the worst to deal with. IMO

I think you're over simplifying a little bit.

I imagine people think they can deal with it but then situations change, children grow up from cheeky 3 year olds into sullen/angry/difficult 13 year olds, the parent's parenting style annoys the step-parent, the step parent is expected to suck up the shit of parenting but isn't allowed a say in anything.

I have a DP who is sort of step-parent to my older DC and we have one DC together so can understand the issues but am not a step parent myself. I can appreciate that it's hard for DP with my older DC and they don't have the relationship I hoped they might (or even that I think both of them hope they might!) despite the fact that DP has been in DC's life for the majority of it. They're just very different people and there isn't that bond there. DC gives their actual Dad the benefit of the doubt no matter what and DP gets the opposite.

As a stepchild I don't see why stepparents need to always be involved.
I loved my mum and dad and wanted to spend time with both but could never understand why I had to be treated like a daughter by there partners.
I felt my relationship deteriorated with my dad because I had a lack of privacy, step mum was always there, always included in private matters and always had an opinion.
I made life difficult for my step mum because she had nothing good to say about my mum and my dad always had her back.
She had an affair with my dad which broke my poor mums heart and my sister was born as a result and had the cheek to tell me to not to talk about my mum as she was the past.

Op, do you not think it's sometimes not as clear cut as that? I imagine all step parents go into it with the best of intentions.

Just as I did.. but in my case things changed and dh's kids came to live with us. All good.. until one of them decided to blackmail dh and move out unless he got his way.. things deteriorated and he gave them no boundaries at all, with me having zero authority. Yes it was a dh problem but caused resentment with me and therefore affected all of us adversely. I should add that his kids were mid to late teens so knew exactly what they were doing.

I think you have to judge each case on it's own merit, it's not always black and white.

That poster was happy for the DSD to be a flower girl iirc.

You're the dog sister aren't you?

But in many cases you don't know the children when you meet their father so how can you know whether you will love them or not?
Respect goes without saying of course.

Why assume that one? I’ve just read one where the stepmum is refusing to allow her partners little girl to be a part of their wedding, she just wants it to be her and her two special little girls. That’s fucking twisted

bore off

If this is about the poster whose brother has been told to fuck off by his DP because he expected her to pay for his DC rather than her own dog, YABVU

Sometimes I don't think it's not that black and white. While some have the best intentions of loving the children sometimes reality is very different due to many factors.