My MIL is currently over to stay with us. She lives in another country so when she visits it tends to be for 4 or 5 nights as she doesn't have a place in the UK anymore. I am stating to really resent this and need to know if I ABU before having a conversation with her about the future of these visits.
She has a history of bipolar which is relevant as had led to her being hospitalised a few times during manic episodes (last time probably 5 years ago). We've never had a close relationship and my DH isn't close to her either, probably because as a child she would drink too much and isn't the most caring person. However since we've had our own DC we want her to have a relationship with her GC so have had these visits from her probably 4 or 5 times per year.
She always turns up and offers to do childcare e.g. for school holidays, however in reality I think she likes the idea of this more than the actual event, I honestly think she likes showing off to her friends about what an involved grandparent she is.
On the last 2 occasions she has stayed I've noticed that she has been awake a lot at night and in and out of the bathroom (crashing the door which wakes me up!) I know I shouldn't have done it but after noticing a smell of alcohol in her room last time I looked in her bag and found empty bottles of gin and wine.
On this current stay I have been checking her bag and so far 2 x empty 70cl Gin bottles in 2 days! We live close to the shops and she will make an excuse to pop over there. I'm pretty sure she's not drinking in the day but will excuse herself in the evening to obviously drink alone.
She keeps offering more childcare and when can she visit again however I'm so annoyed with this whole situation and want to tell her I know what she's up to but should I?
She is actually watching the kids today but my DH is working from home so she isn't alone with them, and I don't want her to be until I know she isn't going to be drunk/hungover.
What should I do? Ideally I would want her to stay elsewhere and meet in a neutral location , no overnight stays but her living abroad makes this tricky and there's no chance of us going to her house as her husband is a whole other AIBU!