Or is this hen do behaviour a bit off?

TheMadHattter · 2023-10-26T14:28:49+00:00

I've just arrived at a hen do that has been arranged and booked for months. 2 days ago a couple of the bride's friends said they are only staying for one night now so it will cheaper for them - however as it's an Airbnb the overall cost has not changed so the remaining 6 of us have had to chip in to make up the difference for them pulling out of the second night. I was already a bit miffed about this and now I've just arrived and the two friends who have done this have claimed a bedroom with double bed and ensuite. They have said me and SIL can have that bedroom tomorrow night once they leave and until then we can sleep on the fold out bed in the lounge. I know usually it's first come first served and we were the last to arrive, but as they've pulled out and made it more expensive for everyone else I think they should be on the fold out bed. I don't particularly want to sleep in their dirty sheets either. I don't know these friends and I don't want to spoil it for the bride so I've just gone along with it but inside I'm pretty annoyed and just think this is rude behaviour. AIBU?

Stupidliefromfriend · 30/10/2023 15:02

I feel sorry for the bride. She only had two of her own friends willing to pay yet six who showed up to freeload. I bet she feels embarrassed.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 30/10/2023 10:50

OP you have managed this with such class. Fair play to you 👏

As a side, I always think in these types of situations it's easy to cut the bride too much slack. I'm not saying it's a stressful time and she has lots on her mind but having been there and done it I would be very pissed off if some of my friends acted like this. Maybe afterwards but I would want to know. It's disrespectful and entitled.

MargotBamborough · 30/10/2023 09:33

Emotionalsupportviper · 30/10/2023 08:38

I’m petty so I would have ghosted the WhatsApp chat and enjoyed with my popcorn!

I'm not on WhatsApp, and am old and also technologically inept, but if "ghosted" means that I could watch something going on without anyone knowing I was there, my word I would do that!

Bearing in mind that "people who eavesdrop never hear good of themselves" though, I'd have to steel myself because they would all be complaining about me only drinking gin and bovril and going to bed at 8.00 clock. or whatever.

But then I would pop up and very publicly say ""WHERE IS MY MONEY? GIVE ME MY MONEY!" just for the hell of it.

However, I think that @TheMadHattter has behaved in the best way - sometimes being grown up about things is best in the long run.

I find it hard to take the "This is personal" out of the equation, and stand back and think "What is going to give me the best relationship with this person, who I like very much ?" and go from there.

After all OP doesn't ever need to see the bride's horrible friends ever again, but she will need to have a good relationship with the bride who is a family member (I think).

I think this is right, unfortunately.

I would be privately furious about it, but I'd probably take the view that I'd never have to see these women again after the wedding, whereas having a good relationship with the bride going forward is important.

Her friends sound very immature and not very nice, and if the bride is on the young side to be getting married it may be that her friends will either grow up a bit over the coming years, or they will become less important to her and she will make new friends.

Incidentally, on every hen do I've been on, the hens have covered the bride's costs and all the bride has had to do is show up. I can't believe the poor bride not only had to pay her own costs but also subsidised her freeloading "friends".

Emotionalsupportviper · 30/10/2023 08:38

I’m petty so I would have ghosted the WhatsApp chat and enjoyed with my popcorn!

I'm not on WhatsApp, and am old and also technologically inept, but if "ghosted" means that I could watch something going on without anyone knowing I was there, my word I would do that!

Bearing in mind that "people who eavesdrop never hear good of themselves" though, I'd have to steel myself because they would all be complaining about me only drinking gin and bovril and going to bed at 8.00 clock. or whatever.

But then I would pop up and very publicly say ""WHERE IS MY MONEY? GIVE ME MY MONEY!" just for the hell of it.

However, I think that @TheMadHattter has behaved in the best way - sometimes being grown up about things is best in the long run.

I find it hard to take the "This is personal" out of the equation, and stand back and think "What is going to give me the best relationship with this person, who I like very much ?" and go from there.

After all OP doesn't ever need to see the bride's horrible friends ever again, but she will need to have a good relationship with the bride who is a family member (I think).

Strictlymad · 30/10/2023 06:53

OP you’ve been a class act, I’m not sure I would have handled it so well, you remained tactful and don’t stoop to their level and the bride is very lucky to have you! I admit I’ve been loving this thread (at your expense!) and checking for your updates! I’m now itching to know why came of the Airbnb and any charges. I’m petty so I would have ghosted the WhatsApp chat and enjoyed with my popcorn!

itsgettingweird · 30/10/2023 04:14

So it was bride, bride's sister, 2 friends, my SIL and me who paid for two night. The two friends that changed to only coming for one night and then 4 additional friends joined on the second day - I honestly couldn't tell in the morning but I strongly suspect all stayed over.

See - I was wrong 🤣🤣

itsgettingweird · 30/10/2023 04:13

FrogFighter · 29/10/2023 20:48

Ah no I see it sounds like that but honestly I’ve been following the story since Thursday and am dying to know as ppl were coming and going for days… you had the two at the start, then a group of ‘day trippers’ and then another lot by the sounds of it.

I guess I’ll just have to go back and read it all if no one will just give me the headline. 🙄

No one knows I don't think.

I can figure out 7 we're going for 2 nights?

2 pulled out of second night.

2? Came for the day with an air bed?

So maybe 9 stayed 2nd night in total if CF didn't go home and I got original number correct?! 🤪

RampantIvy · 29/10/2023 23:22

I was a bit speechless and kind of bottled it and just said I thought they were a bit wild for me.

Very tactful. Is she much younger than you?

Original poster

TheMadHattter · 29/10/2023 23:14

LylaLee · 29/10/2023 23:03

So the refund people stayed two nights after all? (So one free night)

Plus extra random people stayed who had brought an air bed and paid zero.

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Yes exactly. I know I got shafted but I just don't want to talk to any of them again, I'd rather lose the money.

OP posts:

LylaLee · 29/10/2023 23:03

TheMadHattter · 29/10/2023 22:18

Yer I had. MOH said she had already refunded friends so she was out of pocket 🫤

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So the refund people stayed two nights after all? (So one free night)

Plus extra random people stayed who had brought an air bed and paid zero.

Original poster

TheMadHattter · 29/10/2023 22:18

LylaLee · 29/10/2023 22:15

Had you already paid the extra to MOH?

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Yer I had. MOH said she had already refunded friends so she was out of pocket 🫤

OP posts:

Original poster

TheMadHattter · 29/10/2023 22:16

MeridianB · 29/10/2023 07:31

You said you were giving the bride a lift this morning. Did she have a good time? Was she oblivious to everything?

Yer I think she had a good time. One awkward moment in the car ride home - she asked me what I thought of her friends as she was worried about me meeting them as she had found my friends at my hen 'really grown up' and 'posh'. I was really shocked by this as I just think my friends are pretty normal (I guess everyone thinks they're normal). I was a bit speechless and kind of bottled it and just said I thought they were a bit wild for me.

OP posts:

LylaLee · 29/10/2023 22:15

TheMadHattter · 29/10/2023 22:09

So it was bride, bride's sister, 2 friends, my SIL and me who paid for two night. The two friends that changed to only coming for one night and then 4 additional friends joined on the second day - I honestly couldn't tell in the morning but I strongly suspect all stayed over.

Show quote history

Had you already paid the extra to MOH?

Original poster

TheMadHattter · 29/10/2023 22:09

FrogFighter · 29/10/2023 20:48

Ah no I see it sounds like that but honestly I’ve been following the story since Thursday and am dying to know as ppl were coming and going for days… you had the two at the start, then a group of ‘day trippers’ and then another lot by the sounds of it.

I guess I’ll just have to go back and read it all if no one will just give me the headline. 🙄

So it was bride, bride's sister, 2 friends, my SIL and me who paid for two night. The two friends that changed to only coming for one night and then 4 additional friends joined on the second day - I honestly couldn't tell in the morning but I strongly suspect all stayed over.

OP posts:

ImustLearn2Cook · 29/10/2023 21:21

FrogFighter · 29/10/2023 20:48

Ah no I see it sounds like that but honestly I’ve been following the story since Thursday and am dying to know as ppl were coming and going for days… you had the two at the start, then a group of ‘day trippers’ and then another lot by the sounds of it.

I guess I’ll just have to go back and read it all if no one will just give me the headline. 🙄

You don’t have to read the entire thread. You just need to read the original poster’s comments.

Look at the original post. Click on see all. It will show you the original poster’s replies. She has only written 9 replies throughout the entire thread.

It won’t take you that long to read her 9 replies. 🙄

ClareBlue · 29/10/2023 20:53

Nobody actually knows. The OP hasn't posted a number.

FrogFighter · 29/10/2023 20:48

Ah no I see it sounds like that but honestly I’ve been following the story since Thursday and am dying to know as ppl were coming and going for days… you had the two at the start, then a group of ‘day trippers’ and then another lot by the sounds of it.

I guess I’ll just have to go back and read it all if no one will just give me the headline. 🙄

Morechocmorechoc · 29/10/2023 20:44

Wow, got to love people

itsgettingweird · 29/10/2023 20:24

FrogFighter · 29/10/2023 19:22

This thread is very long, but I really need to know… how many people actually used the house in total? Can someone pls just say the number?

You sound like you think you may be the owner of this property and need this information for billing purposes 🤣

FrogFighter · 29/10/2023 19:22

This thread is very long, but I really need to know… how many people actually used the house in total? Can someone pls just say the number?

whynotwhatknot · 29/10/2023 18:46

i wondered if the two that got a refund stayed in the end

Scottishskifun · 29/10/2023 13:52

You have handled it well OP and probably find MOH is now scrabbling with additional fees!

I must say I'm amazed that 28 year old ish women behaved so abysmally! I went to many a hen do between 24 and 30 never once did we leave someone cold, try to take a room or leave a mess in accommodation!

ThereIbledit · 29/10/2023 13:12

Thank you for the final update. I'm glad you escaped relatively unharmed!

Lemonyfuckit · 29/10/2023 09:32

Yep they're definitely cheeky fuckers. It's tricky OP as I would be tempted to say something but obviously wouldn't want to upset the bride.

Eddielizzard · 29/10/2023 09:30

Well navigated. What a shit show. Poor neighbours too. I've been the house with the airB&B next door. It was a total nightmare.