To hate the school run?

My DD used to have the most awful temper tantrums when she was 3/4 ish. She’s 15 now and is no trouble at all, so quiet, you wouldn’t believe it was the same child

Get a cheap buggy, load all the school bags and the kitchen sink in there and but a buggy board on the back. Youngest can either push it themselves or stand on it when tired.

I think it’s unfair giving no screens as punishment if that’s then your parents who have to manage that punishment. Agree little point having something hours later. I’d probably just drive until they are older as it sounds very stressful. I’d get some help on the anger front, as that’s going to get more and more difficult as the years tick by and he becomes bigger and stronger and harder to manage

How about they each get an audiobook to listen to? Or music?

I’ve not read all the responses but this might have been said.
My DC are older now but we’d distract with spotting games, how many electric cars we can count on the way in or get them both to chose a colour & see who spots the most cars or front doors in that colour. Always worked distracting mine. I know it wouldn’t work for all though ! 😆

How about a rewards jar, I've started this with my 4yr old for other issues it's working well. Amazon have various ones. At the end of the walk he gets a star to go in his jar. Mine is a small flat jar that sticks to the fridge could easily slot in your bag or he can have a sticker/ stamp on hand to show he earnt his star and pop in when home. When the jar is full he gets a reward, small toy, trip to soft play whatever floats his boat. I've got a lucky dip box of small presents (lego bags, second hand puzzles and games off vinted, boxes of those fairy cake cake mixes, kinetic sand etc) she can choose from. After the initial tantrum because she wanted all the stars NOW and the first time she didn't get a star it's been great 90% of the time. Helps to teach boundaries and they learn to work towards a reward.

It's very dependent on the personality of the child at that age and not a lot to do with parenting. We have 3DC. We had approximately a mile to walk each way. DD1 was horrendous all through reception, at least partly related to DS being born prematurely two days after she started school so I was in hospital for a couple of weeks with him. She would complain constantly, shout at me, hit me, bite me every day on the way home, she didn't get to watch TV after school for months because of it. She was an absolute nightmare. Meanwhile DD2 who was just newly 3 walked twice as far (there and back twice a day) with no complaints. DS when he started school had a much shorter walk to do because we had moved house but would run ahead and misbehave so much and have so many tantrums I regularly had to carry him under my arm for his own safety.

The good news is if you persist and are consistent they eventually calm down and it becomes a pleasure. DS is now in year 6 and DH and I are both going to miss the school run.

Not sure if this has already been suggested, but could you transport the youngest in one of these: https://www.trailoutdoorleisure.co.uk/folding-camping-trolley-cart.html

These aren't really suitable if any of the school run is by road though, unless you're happy with DC being a exhaust height. UK cycle paths also aren't wide or clear enough in my experience to use them either. Shame, as they're clearly useful in countries who have invested in cycle infrastructure.

I say do whatever works for you. parents are allowed to to ‘cheat’ if it makes their life easier. I hardly ever use my car (because of climate change) so if you use your car think of it as carbon offsetting with me.

some kids go through a stage when they just hate walking.

Is it possible your children need more sleep? Although there are recommended times for different ages, some children just need more sleep than the average.

I aware that getting them to bed earlier may have its own set of problems.

Cargo bike! My kids love jumping on the bike and we can load in all the school bags and scooters and also get out in the fresh air and avoid adding to congestion!

Not sure your dentist would be too happy about the smartie stops

have they witnessed poor coping mechanisms from you or your husband? Or you or your husband moaning about having to do things?The anger sounds quite extreme. Any likelihood of neurodiverse conditions like autism or ADHD?

I play words games with my youngest. Very high chance of ADHD/autism due to hereditary factor. He’s so engaged with the game his feet just move without him knowing.

Leave a bit earlier and give them their breakfast on the way to school. Marmite sandwiches, chopped up fruit or veg, rice cakes, or half a wrap with a piece of cheese in it - something simple. I used to do this to get my kids to walk a similar distance - and on the way home again. They weren’t big eaters and didn’t eat a lot at lunch so they were always hangry by home time. I’d normally bring a few Nice biscuits or some rice cakes to get them moving.

I didn't realise we were meant to teach our kids to avoid other people on pavements. I'd been giving DD a chocolate button for each OAP she took out.

Too much Grand Theft Auto in my youth, evidently.

My kids are very careful of elderly/disabled pedestrians.

I don't see a lot of consideration the other way, most adult pedestrians don't give my kids any space on the pavement

Those of you who let your DC bike or scoot on the pavement should be aware that there are elderly pedestrians too who could break a hip very easily if crashed into and knocked down. A third of adults over 50 die within 12 months of a hip fracture.

Don't judge yourself against others, you don't get to see the hard bits of their lives.
I have a well behaved child (7) and a baby - and mornings are still a complete nightmare
Getting ready for school always involves arguments and I have to constantly remind her to actually move her feet when we're walking to school it drives me insane

All kids are annoying
All mum's are stressed

This sounds really tough, you must be exhausted! I’m lucky that I have a child who (mostly) enjoys walking although he will take the easy option if it’s available. I can also build the routine around him - I have two children but youngest goes in a buggy or the carrier. Not looking forward to the day when that’s no longer an option!

A few ideas: possibly obvious but have you asked him why he finds it so difficult? (Eg. “I can see you’re finding the journey to school really hard. Do you know why? What can we do to make it easier for you?”). I’ve done this before for something else and sometimes it doesn’t help but sometimes the answers have really surprised me and it’s been something we can implement.

Can you break up the journey with a piggy back or something If that’s fun for him and possible for you (eg. Once we get to the grass you can have a piggy back until the lamppost (best to be specific I think) then you will need to walk again - and gradually increase the amount of walking)

Can you make it into a game? I was struggling with a separate issue on the school run so we started playing a game at home called “boss mummy about” where he gets to tell me what to do for 5/10 mins and I will do it (as long as it’s not dangerous or hurting anyone!). We then agree that we will play “boss child’s name about” on the way to and from school which he usually loves.

Do you have a partner you can share the load with? That’s possibly the biggest one! Something this hard should be shared if possible!

We used to live in a big city, school run was a bloody nightmare. A mile of moaning babies in double pushchair, moaning child scooting/walking. I'd end up getting back home near 10am stressed out and tired bracing myself to do it all again in the afternoon!

We moved to a small village. Dc go to school in next village over. School bus picks them up 2 minutes from our door at 8.10am and drops them back off at 3.15pm. Total bliss. Obviously not a realistic solution to the problem but it has certainly improved my life!

If you had a bike with small wheels you may find it much easier to carry a passenger and your sim may enjoy it. You could lock your other son’s bike at school for the home journey.