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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really, really want a third DC

116 replies

Kindlylight · 23/10/2023 14:16

I’m 42. I have two lovely children. To have a third would be so stupid but … oh I want one. So much Smile

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 23/10/2023 14:33

Kindlylight · 23/10/2023 14:29

Some posters are acting as if it’s something I’m actually going to do. I’m not. I am saying I want one not that I’m actually going to have one!

Unfortunately I’m not allowed a pet either 😭

OK, fair enough, YANBU to want one but not actually do it.
I'm sure you will get to a point in time where you'll look back and be glad you stuck at 2.

PumpkinPie2016 · 23/10/2023 14:32

Obviously only you and your DH can make this choice.

I suppose it depends on so many things - financially, can you afford it? How old are your current children- if they are late primary/secondary, the gap may be too large.
Would you want to go through the sleepless nights/nappies/toddler stage/weaning/teething again?

Do also consider the impact a 3rd may have on your current children. Me and my brother are very close and always have been. We were 4 and 9 when our sister was born. It wasn't a case of her 'just slotting in' like people say. We didn't find the change easy and looking back, our parents became quite overstretched.

Macaroni46 · 23/10/2023 14:31

toadasoda · 23/10/2023 14:22

I would say go for it! I'll bet most posters won't agree though. Age obviously would be the big concern but if you are healthy, why not.

This always makes me laugh. At 42 I was really healthy. A decade later I'm not. I think age is a consideration. Personally, I'd stop at two and enjoy them.

No1MumPendant · 23/10/2023 14:30

Women often get broody in their early forties. I think it’s your fertility saying ‘last chance saloon…it’s now or never!’.

Personally, I rode it out, didn’t have a third and at 46 I’m bloody glad I don’t have a reception aged child. But my children are 19 & 15 now. Maybe if I’d had little ones anyway it would’ve just felt like adding one more to the gang.

Original poster
Kindlylight · 23/10/2023 14:29

Some posters are acting as if it’s something I’m actually going to do. I’m not. I am saying I want one not that I’m actually going to have one!

Unfortunately I’m not allowed a pet either 😭

OP posts:
Mrsgreen100 · 23/10/2023 14:29

The world is full to brimming with people
many kids out there with no one
adopt or count your blessings
sorry op but I think it’s irresponsible to have
more children when you’re already blessed with two

Original poster
Kindlylight · 23/10/2023 14:28

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 23/10/2023 14:26

It really depends on why you think it would be stupid.

There’s my age … I’d be 44 when I had the baby.

Logistics: we’d need a new car, holidays would cost a fortune, days out and so on. Things like private school wouldn’t be possible.

There would be a very small age gap between no2 and non existent no3.

Time!

It would be very selfish. But I can’t stop myself still wanting another even though it would be so wrong.

OP posts:
PinkRoses1245 · 23/10/2023 14:28

If DH doesn't want to, he's just as entitled to say that as you are. Why not get a pet??

cocomamia · 23/10/2023 14:27

Same boat... my youngest is now 3 and I really want a third!

Won't make sense for me financially and for my mental health though...

Original poster
Kindlylight · 23/10/2023 14:27

are you a single parent? Confused no …

@TomatoSandwiches a little rude but never mind. I’m not actually in a position to have a third, DH would never agree. In a way I’d love to have a happy surprise only it wouldn’t really be happy. I don’t know why I’m so broody!

OP posts:
Validus · 23/10/2023 14:26

Hormones or something else?

Desecratedcoconut · 23/10/2023 14:26

Do it 😁 It's wonderful.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 23/10/2023 14:26

It really depends on why you think it would be stupid.

TomatoSandwiches · 23/10/2023 14:25

It is stupid, don't do it.

OhTheJoys8 · 23/10/2023 14:24

It depends on your situation. Are you a single parent? Do you have a good financial situation, etc.

toadasoda · 23/10/2023 14:22

I would say go for it! I'll bet most posters won't agree though. Age obviously would be the big concern but if you are healthy, why not.