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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really, really want a third DC

116 replies

Kindlylight · 23/10/2023 14:16

I’m 42. I have two lovely children. To have a third would be so stupid but … oh I want one. So much Smile

OP posts:
babetyouknow · 23/10/2023 14:46

Thanks 😁I was 44, my eldest was 17, was probably a terrible idea on paper, but it was the best thing I ever did. She's 6 now, no regrets.

DrMarshaFieldstone · 23/10/2023 14:45

babetyouknow · 23/10/2023 14:44

Have DC4? I did. 5 stars, would recommend.

Show quote history

And if the hormones then tell you to have DC5, and DC6?

Original poster
Kindlylight · 23/10/2023 14:44

I like your style @babetyouknow Grin

OP posts:
babetyouknow · 23/10/2023 14:44

DrMarshaFieldstone · 23/10/2023 14:37

It's the hormones. What will you do if you have DC3 and the hormones tell you that you want DC4?

Have DC4? I did. 5 stars, would recommend.

Original poster
Kindlylight · 23/10/2023 14:44

@wobblyweasel DH really isn’t into animals. I did have a cat and the stress it caused was unbelievably frustrating. I actually had a thread on here about it once. Sadly the poor cat died a couple of weeks before I had DC2. I may well be able to persuade him to get rabbits or guinea pigs or something in the future but nothing like a dog or cat. He isn’t horrible, he just doesn’t deal with (animal) poo very well

OP posts:
ThanksItHasPockets · 23/10/2023 14:44

OP, there is a single word to consider in this situation, which has directly affected at least three families I can think of off the top of my head (early forties, super broody, 2 DC already, one persuades the other to go for DC3...).

TWINS.

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 23/10/2023 14:43

I have six because I was so broody.

Then I stopped being broody but now after my youngest turned 15 I'm broody again at 43. But my other half has had the snip - just as well!

I'll have to make do with my 3 grandchildren who I love to bits.

Photographsandmemories · 23/10/2023 14:42

It's. The. Hormones.

It will pass when you get out of the baby stage.

Original poster
Kindlylight · 23/10/2023 14:41

I have my own baby, which is why it’s so insane. Why am I broody for a baby when I have a baby? I know it’s because I know she’s the last so I’m clinging onto every moment. (She’s a very chilled baby which helps, if I had dc1 back for a day as a baby I might say different!)

OP posts:
wobblyweasel · 23/10/2023 14:40

I think having 3 under 4s would firmly have me not wanting another! Your hormones are probably still all over the place making you broody. Why aren't you allowed a pet though?

TiredMamOfTwo · 23/10/2023 14:40

Borrow a friends baby for the day... you won't be broody by the end. Grin

OhTheJoys8 · 23/10/2023 14:39

Kindlylight · 23/10/2023 14:38

Right, that makes sense! Sorry @OhTheJoys8 . I certainly didn’t intend for a moment to suggest anything negative about single parents Flowers

It’s ok

Original poster
Kindlylight · 23/10/2023 14:38

Right, that makes sense! Sorry @OhTheJoys8 . I certainly didn’t intend for a moment to suggest anything negative about single parents Flowers

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 23/10/2023 14:38

I would love another baby (3rd child) but health, finances and dh’s vasectomy pretty much guarantees a no

Original poster
Kindlylight · 23/10/2023 14:38

He’d never agree @1990thatsme . Logically and pragmatically he would be right. But I know if I was to get pregnant I’d be over the moon … until I was confronted with the realities of three under 4s, anyway Grin

OP posts:
OhTheJoys8 · 23/10/2023 14:37

No… I’m a single mum too, I asked if she was single because OP didn’t originally give an explanation as to why she couldn’t/wouldn’t have another child

DrMarshaFieldstone · 23/10/2023 14:37

It's the hormones. What will you do if you have DC3 and the hormones tell you that you want DC4?

Hankunamatata · 23/10/2023 14:37

Hormone surge broodiness from 40 as entered peri menopause. I'm do glad dh had the snip

Nonplusultra · 23/10/2023 14:36

I can relate op. I felt like that for a long time. Like you, I could identify all the reasons it would be madness. But the longing was almost painful. And as you’re finding on this thread, there’s absolutely no place where you’re allowed to talk about it.

What changed for me was that we had unprotected sex right before I ovulated and given how quickly I fell pregnant I thought there was a high chance it could happen. And the happy little accident suddenly looked more like my life was going to blow up!

I wasn’t pregnant but it put it in perspective for me and I started to separate out the hormones from my thoughts.

And I sent dh to get the snip!

1990thatsme · 23/10/2023 14:35

Why aren’t you allowed a pet?

Photographsandmemories · 23/10/2023 14:35

It's hormones. You will be so glad you didn't later, trust me.

1990thatsme · 23/10/2023 14:35

Is it worth having a chat with DH about it?

I have three and just found out I am expecting again (wonderful news) but we both knew/agreed we wanted a big family.

It is so so hard if you aren’t both on the same page. 💐

Original poster
Kindlylight · 23/10/2023 14:34

@MrsTerryPratchett of course not! But I was genuinely confused as while I know some women do go down the donor route it’s not massively common and certainly not for a third baby, so I was a bit baffled as to why it was assumed I was single.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kindlylight · 23/10/2023 14:34

Current children are only preschool. I started late to this parenting thing. Like I say it really isn’t possible not least as DH would never agree which is probably good as I think my heart would rule my head. It’s stupid as I have a baby but am longing for another baby. No idea what my hormones are about!

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 23/10/2023 14:33

Kindlylight · 23/10/2023 14:27

are you a single parent? Confused no …

@TomatoSandwiches a little rude but never mind. I’m not actually in a position to have a third, DH would never agree. In a way I’d love to have a happy surprise only it wouldn’t really be happy. I don’t know why I’m so broody!

Why the face? Something wrong with single mums?