To really, really want a third DC

Me too mate, I don’t have anything helpful
to say just that I empathise. I’m a few years younger than you and there are a million reasons not to but I’m still struggling with the thought of never having another baby, I love the two I have and feel lucky every day that I’ve got them but there is still a little space x

I know how you feel. We always wanted a third and then DH and I decided to stop at 2. Literally the month after we had made that decision, I got a BFP for DC3. It was like the universe made the decision for us.

We have 2 DDs (nearly 10 and 3) and are due a DS in April. We’ll see how he fits in but DDs are both excited for his arrival.

DH will be getting the snip after his safe arrival.

I'm responding specifically to your point about twins, and making the jump from two to four DC.

Maybe it would help you to consider exactly what would you like from this thread. Do you want commiserations? Do you want the catharsis of having the argument that you can't have with your DH in real life?

I was going to say, since its half-term, go and spend a few hours at Kidzone...that would change your mind. However since you have two pre-schoolers you probably go there anyway 😁

It's theoretically true of most pregnancies but the chances do increase into your forties.

I also agree with @BretonBlue that it's relevant if you already have two. Friends who have gone from two to three have said that it was the easiest jump to make. Two to four means significant practical changes -definitely car, possibly house...

When one party was reluctant and had to be talked into 'just one more' by their partner, it makes a difference if those DC are numbers 3 and 4 rather than 1 and 2. Fraternal twins are also quite a bit more likely in your mid forties than in your mid twenties.

Oh yes, very much this. I know two families in exactly the same situation who had unexpected twins when they tried for DC3. Either we know the same people or it is a fairly common phenomenon!

Thank you. I appreciate the insight.

I didn't feel finished after 3. After 4, I did. It was that simple.

Gosh that gives me so much hope. I am 33 next month. Sadly suffered a recent bereavement (so feeling quite rubbish and not that open to 'putting myself out there) and will be moving back home after 10 years abroad next year. I thought I had missed all my chances! You give me hope.
FWIW it sounds like you have a great family there and in your shoes I'd be stopping now. But certainly not judging you for asking the question.

Not at all U to have the urge. I suspect there are hormones at play.

Sounds like you know your circumstances and are going to make the right choice for you. Hopefully the broodiness passes soon!

Don't do it. The world is overpopulated as it is, and you already have two lovely children. Unless you are wealthy, not just comfortable, having more could put your family in hardship if you lost your job. A friend of mine is going through something similar (one, in her case, she would like another but it isn't viable for various reasons) and while it kind of sucks for her, it doesn't make her miserable and she has accepted it.

I have three age 12,10&7 and have always wanted a fourth but due to health following an accident I couldn’t have considered it until recently. It is absolutely not the right thing for our family, my husband is completely against the idea, financially it would be awful but it really is something I want so much. I’m so grateful for the three children we have but it doesn’t change the way I feel and I wish so much we could do it again and have a fourth. I hope it’s something I can find peace with in time…

Getting a bit of a hard time here OP. First of all, you really give me hope, you having a decent size family in your 40s. I am early 30s, relationship broken down and this gives me hope. Also, massive respect for you for considering your husband's feelings and admitting it would be selfish to have another child.
I'd say you should only consider doing it if:

• husband agrees
• you have space
• your both have stable (preferably FT) jobs, pensions and futures
• it would not negatively impact on your existing children (and yes, that includes opportunities they might miss out on because having a third means you don't have the money or time to give them what they need and deserve).
• your health would allow it (besides the fact you would be 44 - many women have healthy pregnancies at this age)

Bad reasons for doing it:

• you just 'like babies'. All kids grow up (don't be like my ex MIL who had 6 just because she was addicted to the baby stage)
• You 'just want one'
• to repair a problem in your marriage (not the case by the sound of it)
• you want one of a particular sex

Are you prepared for it to be twins, or have additional needs?

You should do it now cos it will be menopause soon

I'm genuinely interested. I consider myself fortunate to have had a very clear understanding of when my family was complete and I have never experienced the intense broodiness over and over that some women do. Friends have told me that their families never felt complete because they had to stop for practical reasons, not because the desire for more children went away. I try to empathise and understand people's motivations but this is so far from my own experience that I appreciate the insight from an anonymous thread.

So yes, I am interested if the logic carries through indefinitely.

What about a hundred children hey, op? Huh, huh, think on that, huh???
🤣🤣🤣

Go for it if you want one and have energy and financial means for it. Don't think 42 is too old at all!