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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stopped by old man

188 replies

Unsurehowtofeel · 18/10/2023 13:47

It's a strange one.

I was returning something in a supermarket today and as I walked in the alarms beeped. I was the only one walking in or out at the time so i knew it was me, but thought nothing of it and carried on to the customer service desk because A) I was walking in, not out and B) I didn't see or hear any security stopping me.

It's one of those supermarkets with automatic doors and a meter or so in is some electronic gates to enter the shop or to the left is open access for leaving. Customer service is also to the left.

Anyway, as I was making my way to customer services (walking against the traffic of people walking out) an old man and his wife blocked my way. I was confused. The man then held my trolly and started trying to turn it around towards a colleague stood behind on the other side of the doors (not customer services side) who in retrospect I think had tried to get my attention.

I have some social anxiety and at the time I was panicy thinking how can he (security) think I'm stealing when I'm walking in.

All security was asking in the end was whether the tag was still on it because he could remove it there for me.

Now I'm left feeling somewhat strange. The way an old man thought he could stop me from entering the shop and just his entitlement. Its made me feel all weird and icky. I dont know if it's because I didn't stick up for myself when I feel like I should have or whether it's because of his entitlement.

Just here to get it off my chest really 😂and any advice welcome for how to deal with men like that next time.

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 18/10/2023 14:03

Forgive and forget 😃

Somethingsnappy · 18/10/2023 13:59

I read this and just knew people would pounce on the age thing. It is relevant, because as a pp said, it may affect the context. A young man physically stopping you may cause a different reaction to an old man, who may seem like less of a threat. The op is asking if they are being unreasonable, so these things add details that may be needed.

PenguinRainbows · 18/10/2023 13:56

What did you say to him?

Theunamedcat · 18/10/2023 13:55

A young man would be more threatening to me old men can be loud and entitled but not usually a physical threat

Dotjones · 18/10/2023 13:54

You say he was old - how old? Was he frail? Usually if someone accosts me like that I'd use my strength to barge past them if I thought I was likely to come off best. If not at least give them some verbal or try to hit their hand away from the trolley. It's not his job to take on the role of store security. In the circumstances you describe he wouldn't be entitled to attempt a citizen's arrest on you either because it's not like you were leaving the shop therefore weren't in the act of stealing anything. And even if someone makes a legal citizen's arrest, that would only entitle them to detain you where you were. Forcing you to move would be false imprisonment and/or kidnapping.

curtaintwitcher78 · 18/10/2023 13:53

Not to me. I'm having a whale of a time picturing his moustache and his lil trousers ticked into his lil boots.

Roughashouses · 18/10/2023 13:52

Oh blimey OP, you mentioned age. Now you won't get anything other than comments about that.

I'd have just laughed at him. Bloody busybody.

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 18/10/2023 13:52

Totally irrelevant

BIWI · 18/10/2023 13:51

... but totally irrelevant to the OP's story.

curtaintwitcher78 · 18/10/2023 13:51

BIWI · 18/10/2023 13:48

What does his age have to do with any of this?

It gives a clearer mental picture. I'm thinking Lance Corporal Jones from Dad's Army.

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 18/10/2023 13:50

BIWI · 18/10/2023 13:48

What does his age have to do with any of this?

Also wondering this?

Soubriquet · 18/10/2023 13:48

He sounds like one of those people who would rubber neck outside his own living room window and grass up on every infraction.

Let it go

BIWI · 18/10/2023 13:48

What does his age have to do with any of this?