Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Alcohol question

57 replies

PumkinPetra · 16/10/2023 16:41

Im posting here for traffic. I hope thats ok

how much alcohol is ok for someone to drink - normal amount vs wondering if they are a functioning alcoholic?

this person drinks at home mainly in the evening but hobby involves the pub on the weekend and does go to the pub one night a week to meet a friend

eg is it normal for someone to drink daily/every weekend? They say they are an adult and look forward to a drink. They hold down a job and i agree, drinking doesn’t get in the way of them working.

personally, drinking is not for me, i dont like the taste/feeling of it especially since having children. They say, im judging them because i dont drink

OP posts:
Beezknees · 16/10/2023 19:27

4-6 cans a day and more on weekends is definitely a problem.

MondayBags678 · 16/10/2023 19:26

Sounds like my oh sorry I can’t advise my situation sounds very similar and I’m worried too

PumkinPetra · 16/10/2023 19:22

Thanks for your replies.

@HattieIou Id say between 4-6 cans a day, will have more including wine on a weekend

@Poseidensgrumpyneighbour Yes i agree, feels like every time they home, they have an alcoholic drink in their hand. I cannot rely on them to help take the kids around. They confessed the other day to having drove home down the motorway from the pub (works drinks) after 4 pints. I went mad obviously but i didnt find out until days later.

@MxK @Betty407 i do suggest dry jan/sober October but there’s always an excuse. He did try to do a month once but couldn’t manage it. Although, i do sometimes find an empty can or two/bottle of wine behind the sofa so im honestly not sure he could even do it completely. They are probably drinking more than i know

Its just they make me feel like im making something out of nothing. I feel like im going mad. I feel like im the problem. They say they dont have a problem/not an alcoholic and others drink as much. Thats why im trying to find out whats normal

OP posts:
Betty407 · 16/10/2023 17:21

Assuming it's someone close to you, ask them to stop for 30 days (maybe even allow for big events in this period), if they struggle to go more than a few days then there's probably an issue.

Lots of alcoholics in my family, they'd struggle to stop for 3 days to be honest.

Some people drink a bit too much but aren't alcohol dependent, 30 days off can be a refreshing re set for people like this!

MxK · 16/10/2023 16:50

It depends. Would/Could they completely give up alcohol for an extended period of time?

Poseidensgrumpyneighbour · 16/10/2023 16:48

Obviously, I don't know the whole story and you'll get different views on here re what is a normal amount to drink. But in my experience, when someone feels that a person close to them has a problem with alcohol, they usually turn out to be correct. If the person they are concerned about didn't have a problem with alcohol they'd probably say "I don't think it's an issue but if it's bothering you, I'll cut down" rather than getting defensive. I'm not teetotal by the way and enjoy a glass or two of wine at the weekend but drinking every night would be too much for me.

HattieIou · 16/10/2023 16:42

They drink every single day? How much a day?