Boy hitting in dd's class

It sounds like he needs 1 to 1 provision or a behavioural support plan. Good luck with the head teacher, hopefully they will listen to your concerns and put support in place. Hope your DD is OK and can feel safe at school.

I wonder if the mother has applied for an Education, Health and Care plan? That might be the next step if the boy doesn't have one. Sometimes schools are reluctant to tell parents about them for some reason. If he does have one in place it might need revisiting and his needs reassessed if that's possible.

I did use to be one of those mothers that didn't understand when my first NT son was in a class with a ND boy who was struggling. I knew his behaviour was affecting my son's Education and I wasn't happy, although i didn't complain. One day I came to pick my son up and saw this kid running around the playground looking really distressed trying to be comforted by teachers and his mum. I felt so sad for the boy then. I realised I was being an utter cow bag about it! I felt sorry for the mum too, she was dealing with all this with a baby. My NT son has had other issues with ND kids too being aggressive but the school are very good at sorting the issues out.

Now I'm in a similar (although not identical) position as my son is disruptive but isn't having meltdowns or aggressive. He just tries to escape and vocally stims loudly. The school have been good so far, but he is hopefully going to specialist eventually. I don't like feeling like my son is disrupting other children, but MS school is the only option we have right now.

Complaining to some pen pusher in the LA or to the MP is not the right avenue of complaint.

The correct way is to lodge a formal, written complaint with the school and request it be signed off by the HT, with both parties keeping a copy. The OP should request in writing an outline of the steps the school intends to take to deal with this and the time frame envisaged. A paper trail is necessary.

Presumably the assault on the lunchroom employee was logged?

If the school won't make a plan of action, then the complaint should be forwarded to the board of governors.

Don't let the head fob you off with that. It's not your DD's problem. She has a right to be safe from violence at school, end of story.

As are all schools currently.
It's a shit show.

I'm a teacher and there are many children in our school who need more support, but we don't have the money to give them it.

I'd still be kicking off though.

Well done OP - it’s a very difficult situation and this child deserves help and support. Your priority is rightly your own daughters safety and well-being, she doesn’t deserve be assaulted by a boy daily at school. Addressing with the head teacher is the right next step.

I haven't said don't speak to the school. I have said don't go in raising 'merry hell' as one poster puts it as it could lead to a bad outcome.

I've explained my reasons why it is a bad idea and tried to put a bit of light on the situation with the struggles parents and schools have with trying to access the correct support. I think too few people understand this. So many people are quick to blame schools and parents, when it is the local authorities not getting support in place in a timely manner, not having enough specialist schools or just generally kicking the can down the road as much as possible. They get away with it because many people similar to the posters on here would just rather the blame the wrong people than ask why local authorities are not doing their job, or even our government.

I do understand that l, however again it’s not the OPs problem in this situation. If it were my dd getting hurt I would be raising everything I could to make sure it stopped and she didn’t get hurt again. Ideally that wouldn’t include exclusion however my priority would be my dd, not the child hurting my dd.

Yes but my point is so many schools don't do as they are supposed to and neither do the LAs. Its a dysfunctional system. My son, who isn't aggressive by the way, is very inappropriately placed in a mainstream. We applied for an EHCP which is at nearly week 40 (the entire process should last 20 weeks max) and we are not even fully through the process of getting funding in place. We are not likely to get him in a special school this year and may even be longer, but he desperately needs a place. He is severely behind in his development, probable ID too, but COVID and general underfunding and dysfunction has meant it has taken very long to get diagnosed and even get to this point. I just want people to understand this. If my son got excluded we would be homeless as we both need to work. It's also illegal to do this if the school haven't made the correct adjustments.

So no, don't raise 'merry hell' - on the other side of this is a child that is equally distressed. The school need to safeguard other children and the LA need to provide the support to make this happen or place the child in an appropriate school. As you can see from my experience it isn't that straight forward.

The op needs immediate action, she does not have the luxury of forging a political movement in the hopes that maybe, years down the road, the council will provide proper funding. This abuse has to be stopped right now.

If you want to be helpful with issues like this complain to your councils and MPs about not prioritising the welfare of SEND children and those they are with in MS school. Is that not more likely to get a better result?

Maybe in the long term, but that won’t help with OPs immediate problem. Headteacher is the right path to go down as a first port of call for this situation, mps can be contacted at a later time once her dd is safe.

Read my post please, all of it. I said she needs to raise this with the right people. The LA grant the funding and decide what setting the child should be in much of the time. SEND support us massively underfunded and there aren't enough specialist places. The council will put pot holes and cosmetic issues in the town over funding the education for these children properly, but because they are a minority they don't care, they just leave these kids in schools they shouldn't be in which affects other children and pass the buck. Lots of kids have had to leave education entirely.

If you want to be helpful with issues like this complain to your councils and MPs about not prioritising the welfare of SEND children and those they are with in MS school. Is that not more likely to get a better result?

I wasn't trying to guilt trip the OP. I was trying to get her to respond rationally and compassionately to the situation as 'raising merry hell' leads to shit outcomes for the child and allows those responsible to get away with not doing what they should legally be doing.

Honestly all that is not the OPs problem. Her problem is that her dd is getting hurt which isn’t acceptable, no matter who has done it. There needs to be plans and consequences in place to make sure it never happens again. If exclusion is the only option to keep others safe then that is what has to happen, but hopefully there are other solutions to try first.

If you are going to do this OP please get your facts right first and bear in mind this might lead to an exclusion of the child and a wait for another placement. This impacts the child and family greatly, emotionally and financially.

Nice to try and make the op feel guilty for doing her duty to protect her child when no one else is. If the boy gets excluded, so be it. It would be very unfortunate, but needs must. He cannot be allowed to terrorise other children.

YANBU. It is completely unacceptable, SEN or not it is not acceptable to hurt other people, especially in a school. I would be meeting with the headteacher and would want to know the action plan and make it quite clear that I would take this further if my DD got hurt again.

They need to be doing their job and not leaving things to escalate to that point. They’re really failing they poor child and those he ends up hurting.

YANBU deal with this immediately and don’t give up until it’s sorted. This could have long lasting effects on your daughter.

If you are going to do this OP please get your facts right first and bear in mind this might lead to an exclusion of the child and a wait for another placement. This impacts the child and family greatly, emotionally and financially. The school needs to meet the child's needs and manage his behaviour, if they are doing their best, it is probably the LA not providing the right level of support or funding to meet the child's needs.

You definitely need to raise this, but you need to direct your concerns to the right place.

His needs aren’t being met and everyone is suffering.

Keep complaining, you need to advocate for your daughter and there’s a chance that your complaints will also get more support for the boy.

It may not be the child's fault but what does that matter to the child being hit or to the parent being upset that it's happened? You really expect them to say ok we can be punchbags ? No off course not. I would raise hell over this. He should be there if he is attacking people regardless of any issues!

Being neurodivergent doesn't give him a free pass to injure others.

Teach her to defend herself. Words first then actions.