Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH and flying

113 replies

cruelladepoppins · 13/10/2023 17:59

First world problems, but here goes.

I have a big birthday next year. For my last big birthday ten years ago, we rented a villa with pool abroad with extended family staying for a fortnight. It was great. This time, I'd quite like to do something similar, as would both DCs (now adults). Maybe just the 4 of us, or with a friend for each DC.

The sticking point is that DH is v much against flying, for environmental reasons. His attitude has hardened in recent years. I totally respect that. But I soooo want to go. It's not like I fly often - maybe once a year, usually to take DM on holiday. DCs are champing at the bit and I am torn.

DH suggests we rent a house in Scotland where we live and have extended family to stay, but (a) crap weather, no pool (b) I can't imagine extended family would want to come (c) it very much feels like second-best and (d) he doesn't drive so I would have to schlep us all the way there.

DM suggests I set up what I want, without him, but that makes me feel sad.

Any advice? Are there nice places within easy reach of (say) Edinburgh? Anyone experienced anything similar?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Clarabell77 · 03/02/2024 21:29

Valerianandfoxglovesoup · 13/10/2023 18:34

I have a birthday coming up and one of my friends is flying 6 hours to me in ME and staying for 16 hours and flying home again, business class. Men like your husband make me glad that I don't know people like him and have joyful, generous people who embrace life rather than martyr themselves. I couldn't imagine being trapped in a relationship with anyone so wimpy.

Generous people who embrace life

The planet is burning, how is a 12-hour round trip for a 16-hour visit “generous”? Greedy and showy more like.

determinedtomakethiswork · 15/10/2023 12:27

I know you say he doesn't drive, but does he have lifts off other people?

He sounds like a real misery actually.

Marmalade71 · 15/10/2023 12:24

What a controlling loser. I'd be buying the biggest gas guzzler I could afford and then running him over with it.

More seriously, go on the holiday you want and stop pandering to this arsehole.

And then get a divorce.

Valerianandfoxglovesoup · 15/10/2023 11:59

Fuckinghell as I thought. He eats meat. And makes babies. What a hypocrite and how anyone could find such a person attractive enough to damage the environment with his babies is utterly beyond me. There's a reason he chose a dithering passive woman. Most people would have swerved to avoid such a bollockless specimen.

twilightcafe · 14/10/2023 20:55

Balls to that. You fly. Let him drive/take the bus.

Paininthederriere · 14/10/2023 20:50

Does your husband not drive due to eco beliefs? Does he cycle instead? But does that mean you’re the daily taxi, holiday driver & general dogsbody/chauffeur?
That doesn’t seem fair if so. Like his request not to go abroad.

OliveToboogie · 14/10/2023 20:35

Sounds like virtue signalling a little. Tell him to stay at home you go with your kids and enjoy.

ItsThatTimeAgainXmas · 14/10/2023 20:23

MiddleParking · 14/10/2023 20:06

Sorry, you mean he does eat some meat? Whatever justification he uses for that, he can use to go on one holiday. If you even want him there which I absolutely wouldn’t.

Thats it! Well you eat some meat so you can go on some flights. Does he eat eggs? Cheese? If he's not fully vegan and living completely sustainably then he's a hypocrite anyway might as well enjoy himself for once.

ItsThatTimeAgainXmas · 14/10/2023 20:22

cruelladepoppins · 14/10/2023 19:56

Eats very little meat. Drinks oat milk. Doesn't drive.

Show quote history

Christ on a bike. Do you really want to be with this man for the rest of your life?! He sounds utterly miserable. No way I could live with that. Bin him off bring a good friend or relative.

Duckskitbank · 14/10/2023 20:15

Leave the miserable git at home with his oat milk and go on the holiday you want.

ShutTheFrontDoor · 14/10/2023 20:10

don’t put your boring dh’s needs before your poor kids.
you say they are chomping at the bit, so why does one misery guts get to dictate and ruin your fun.

MiddleParking · 14/10/2023 20:06

Sorry, you mean he does eat some meat? Whatever justification he uses for that, he can use to go on one holiday. If you even want him there which I absolutely wouldn’t.

theduchessofspork · 14/10/2023 20:06

theduchessofspork · 14/10/2023 20:03

Good lord, get some sun.

S of France, Portugal, Spain etc - you can fly, he can drive. It’s fine he doesn’t want to fly, but for a big /birthday family holiday he can make an effort and drive. If you want to, you could drive with him.

Oh - Train then.

What’s with the not driving? Do you live in the middle of a city or are you his taxi service?!

Anyway, train or you go without him.

Pumpkinspicelattetime · 14/10/2023 20:05

cruelladepoppins · 14/10/2023 19:56

Eats very little meat. Drinks oat milk. Doesn't drive.

Show quote history

Doesn't drive because he always uses public transport to get around or doesn't drive but happy to go in a car you are driving? Because if its the latter best to stop giving him lifts to protect his eco credentials

Iloveacurry · 14/10/2023 20:05

Have you got a group of girlfriends you could go away with? Just leave him at home!

Sandalholidays12 · 14/10/2023 20:05

They are your DH reasons. Your DM is correct don't let him project on the rest of you OP

theduchessofspork · 14/10/2023 20:03

Good lord, get some sun.

S of France, Portugal, Spain etc - you can fly, he can drive. It’s fine he doesn’t want to fly, but for a big /birthday family holiday he can make an effort and drive. If you want to, you could drive with him.

jotunn · 14/10/2023 20:03

Does he 'not drive' because he expects you to drive him everywhere? Is that some weird carbon footprint not counting if he's not the one actually doing the driving?

INTERNETEXPL0RER · 14/10/2023 20:01

GarlicGrace · 13/10/2023 18:03

You can get to most places by train. Send him by the scenic route, the rest of you fly.

This.

Original poster
cruelladepoppins · 14/10/2023 19:56

ElleDeeCB · 14/10/2023 17:47

Does your husband eat beef? Or dairy products from cows milk? Drive a petrol car? Or does this issue only come up when it applies to you?

(PS I’d say take the train - it’s a lovely experience travelling by train in France/Italy/Spain, very relaxing, and otherwise does this mean you won’t be travelling ever again?)

Eats very little meat. Drinks oat milk. Doesn't drive.

OP posts:
Original poster
cruelladepoppins · 14/10/2023 19:54

december212 · 14/10/2023 17:40

Somewhat different but are there cruises now running from Rosyth? Does boat have more appeal to him than alternatives?

Apparently cruising is even worse 😣

OP posts:
CarpetLady · 14/10/2023 17:56

How about ferry to northern Spain?

ElleDeeCB · 14/10/2023 17:47

Does your husband eat beef? Or dairy products from cows milk? Drive a petrol car? Or does this issue only come up when it applies to you?

(PS I’d say take the train - it’s a lovely experience travelling by train in France/Italy/Spain, very relaxing, and otherwise does this mean you won’t be travelling ever again?)

december212 · 14/10/2023 17:40

Somewhat different but are there cruises now running from Rosyth? Does boat have more appeal to him than alternatives?

MermaidEyes · 14/10/2023 17:36

I love my villa with pool holidays and won't be giving them up anytime soon. My one trip a year is nothing compared to the many celebrities, millionaires and businessmen/women who fly hundreds of times a year without a second thought. Leave him at home, you'll probably enjoy yourself more anyway.

Swipe left for the next trending thread