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AIBU?

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Hidden disabilities

34 replies

Theemeperorsnewclothes · 12/10/2023 22:40

Am I being unreasonable to think that hidden disabilities are still ignored or not supported in the workplace or by the wider public?

In fact, there is often a collective misgiving to any hidden disability, despite a clinical diagnosis and clear medical background reports to support hidden disabilities.

I have heard team members/friends etc… ‘poo poo’ a diagnosis of other colleagues or friends conditions, just because they don’t think it’s ‘real’

I find that frustrating, as surely no one makes this up!, how could they make it up?

Not all disabilities are visible - some are not obvious and can make everyday life demanding for so many people.

In the UK, 1 in 5 people have a disability, 80 per cent of which have a hidden disability.
Hidden disabilities are a wide range of physical and mental conditions that are not visible or immediately obvious. They can range from a speech impediment, reduced sight, bipolar, chronic fatigue syndrome, colitis, autism, depression, and there are many others.

I find it sad that so many people are struggling (from my own experience, a lot of women) and not only, not getting the support they need, being gaslighted, and (behind their backs) ridiculed by colleagues/‘friends’/acquaintances ☹️. I see and hear it happening so often now, I wonder if it’s just the norm with unkind people who can’t empathise or sympathise, or am I missing something.

OP posts:
Theemeperorsnewclothes · 12/10/2023 23:11

@WhateverMate that’s reassuring to hear.

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Theemeperorsnewclothes · 12/10/2023 23:10

@funbags3 glad to hear you have some support now, sorry to hear you’ve struggled for so long.

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WhateverMate · 12/10/2023 23:10

Thankfully I work for my local council where hidden disabilities are taken very seriously and accommodated as much as possible.

Anyone voicing any disbelief or untoward opinions of other's disabilities would be in serious trouble.

funbags3 · 12/10/2023 23:04

I have Ulcerative colitis and depression.
I've had both for most of my life. Thankfully, I now have a card that shows I need the loo. As I don't really look ill or disabled enough to warrant the use of disabled facilities.

Theemeperorsnewclothes · 12/10/2023 23:04

@Erivo very good point, it’s often not about the individual or their well-being or even not being believed, it’s about the corporate needs.

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Theemeperorsnewclothes · 12/10/2023 23:01

Sorry to hear you are struggling and thank you for your replies. I researched a bit further to try and understand why some people can’t understand that even if someone isn’t visibly impaired, they could still be physically/mentally impaired. The attitude of some people around me, makes me question humanity. I don’t understand it. This is what made some sense,

“For many people they feel that the foremost discrimination anyone faces is to be disbelieved. Hidden disabilities can also cause difficulties because of the attitude of others due to fear or ignorance as people fear what they do not know or understand or what they can not see.”

Sad really ☹️

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Erivo · 12/10/2023 22:58

My experience working in HR is it did improve for awhile but it is now going backwards. The lack of understanding is generally that the workforce is usually kept to bare minimum so any adjustment impact other workers purely because of lack of staffing. There is also an imbalance in age that the younger generation are more likely to be diagnosed and rightly know what makes their life easier. This can bring with it some resentment. But again this is due to staffing numbers.

MEFibroHell · 12/10/2023 22:51

YANBU.
Even some Drs aren’t especially sympathetic. There are times I’d rather something really wrong with me because I looked perfectly fit and able but I just get no understanding.

LittleRedYarny · 12/10/2023 22:50

Nope, you’re not missing anything. If you don’t look disabled then people really do quite often imply you’re swinging the lead… which doesn’t help if you have a disability that makes you question its existence some days!

It’s horrendously difficult and often humiliating, and if I’m honest I’m not actually sure that it makes much difference if there is a visible aspect to your disability. Just generally the world isn’t set up for anyone ‘different’ :(

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