To ask What's the most pressing thing on your mind at the moment?

So interesting, and likewise to the person who said how similar our worries are.

I think some people (men) think women are mainly concerned about 'small' domestic issues (as if worrying about the wellbeing and safety of our most beloved ones is 'small') whilst men are concerned with grander ideas - I guess the whole 'how often do you think about the Roman Empire demonstrates this. But actually yes, women seem to be preoccupied with their children, loved ones, and wars - and for this exact reason don't tend to start wars.

Money, or lack of. I think it will be sorted out over the next year but it's very stressful. It's all I can think about.

I’ve noticed in the last few weeks that I actually don’t have a biggy looming for the first time in a very long time! I think mainly because I’m on maternity leave and a lot of my anxieties were work related!

A daily one is looking at my old(er) dog and just going round in circles wondering if he’ll live forever/live to 16 etc 🤦🏼‍♀️ I need to try and just enjoy each day and worry about that on the one day it ever happens.

The other one is money and how we will be able to afford the mortgage when it keeps going up.

Another one taking up a lot of brain space just now is my self employed business and how I pay tax. I need to get an accountant and have buried my head in the sand for too long and let my receipts get out of hand so need to dedicate the time to sort that out and stop worrying I’m going to jail for that when I haven’t done anything wrong 😂

…most of us worry about our relationship, children and wars. Same as women have worried about through all
time. Wonder what a list would
look like for men?

Money, or lack of, it’s constantly weighing me down, I have £17 in my bank to last until Tuesday, and it’s my child’s birthday coming up very soon, I’m buying basics on the credit card and can’t really afford the repayments as it is, I’m drowning in debt, all on my own, no help or support, living in a shithole with a scummy landlord who couldn’t care less.. so yeah money is the constant pressing issue for me.

It's hard to narrow it down:

1. we would like to start a family but I worry I'm too old and it won't happen for us;
2. I miss my DF but I worry more about my DM and DB as to whether they're lonely and doing ok, as at least I have my DH;
3. am I good enough at work;
4. Ukraine and Israel and Gaza and climate emergency and just general state of the world.

How do I distract myself - scrolling MN! And reading a book, watching TV, yoga, going for a walk (if I'm honest I do more of the scrolling on my phone mindlessly / watching TV and much less of the getting some fresh air or reading a book which I know would be more effective). I do do little online meditations if things are really bad and find it helps.

Israel and Gaza. My FIL needing a stent today out of nowhere. My mum's rapidly deteriorating Parkinsons. Whether 42 is too old for a career switch up/pivot.

…isn’t it remarkable how similar all are worries are so far?

Israel

Why my DS can’t seem to get an interview for any of the part time jobs he has applied for. He is at college. He is hardworking, motivated, no issues with attendance or punctuality. Reasonable GCSE results (all 4’s and above) so why is he not even getting an interview. I have checked his applications and cv and there are no obvious issues. Grammatically correct, well written etc. I can’t understand it. I found out today that someone who was in his class at school has been offered an interview for a job he has applied for but he hasn’t been contacted. It is so frustrating as he would be a great asset. We are not talking high level jobs here, think stacking shelves, stock room. How anyone gets a job is beyond me.

Kids. Always.
Divorce… very scared. Final hearing coming up.
The Palestinian people and Israeli people. The pressure cooker has exploded and I’m very scared for the region.

If I will be sick if I eat this entire bag of Galaxy Minstrels?

Three things:
The issues in my marriage
and
my oldest child well-being
and
Ukriane and Israel and where this is all
going to end

wow this was so eye open for me! I thought I was super anxious anorak our financial situation and the fact that our flat is too small and we can’t move due to my husband being unemployed right now,
but if I’m being honest, those three take up way more brain space.

how do I distract myself?

I read a lot of quality fiction, interesting and challenging stuff to give me perspective on my own life.

I try to do as much exercise as I can squeeze in (not a lot but at least two jogs and a yoga session a week)

I spend time on mumsnet lol!

I volunteer for various activities in the kids school and neighborhood, I find that focusing on helping others and contributing always puts me in a better mood and gives me perspective.

My DD’s mental health, it is so all consuming but I temporarily take my mind off things by watching reality TV and playing my sporting hobby. I also have a constant inner battle with my food issues and worrying about how I am going to sort my weight out. Nothing really helps with that.

Distractions are walking the dog, throwing myself into my new business and stupidly I've started smoking again after more than 5 years off the cigs only one or two a day but I know where that ends up!

A good friend of DH died today. One minute a fit & healthy 38 year old, 24 hours after a catastrophic brain haemorrhage he's gone. A lovely lovely guy, can't stop thinking about his poor family. A couple of days ago I would have said DH. He's desperately unhappy at work and constantly stressed and irritable but isn't ready to start job hunting yet because we're nearing the end of our fixed term and he doesn't want to be in a probationary period job wise when we're taking on a new loan. This however is something that should work itself out in time and suddenly seems ridiculous. When I was going through a rough patch a few years ago I put up a "gratitude board" on my wall, listing things I thought I should focus on instead e.g. family still healthy, stable employment, that sort of thing. I also try to pause mentally by going for a walk say and focusing on the sound of birds singing taking along a coffee and trying to just experience my surroundings instead of worrying. Hope you're ok OP.

Whether to leave dh or not. I keep trying and trying but starting to think it's pointless

My DS was close to submitting his UCAS application and has been certain what he wants to study for years. And today he tells me he's changed his mind. We've done the rounds of uni open days at great expense for possibly the wrong department! Super stressed & to add to it DH is constantly absent due to a busy period at work. Taking my mind off it with mindless TV!!

Got a rejection after an interview today for a job that was literally perfect for me, including logistics and hours. Flopped the interview, recovering from a chest infection and had the heaviest day of my (heavy) period that day. Had four infections in the last month. Dental abscess is still there but can’t afford to go back as don’t have the form for free treatment sorted. Currently in insecure 0 hours work since being made redundant last Christmas and had no work for the last month. Single parent. Spend most of my time by myself, communication skills down the toilet. I don’t know how to interact with people anymore. Now have time but no money for any hobbies. Can’t do/finish degree as maxed out student finance. Feel like I’m losing brain cells by not using them enough. Can’t stop thinking about a solution.

The daughter.
The leak.
The friend I'm losing.
The smoking.
The sex life.
The finances.

Take your pick. It's all weighs on me. Hence the smoking.

My kids. Always my kids. Are they happy, healthy and thriving? And the same for my DH

That and the fact I think that society as a whole is crumbling before our eyes (Healthcare and education being a prime example) But that's too big a worry to focus on and it's out of my hands.

Finishing an assessment I started ages ago. My mind is so brainy foggy I feel like I'm walking through treacle.

The war in Gaza/Isreal. Its really upset me and I can't sleep.

Worrying about my kids.

Are you ok, Iguess? Do you need to talk?

Thinking of you and yours, Natura. X

Thoughts with you Natura and anyone else who is on danger or who had family members at risk.