Partner doesn't know where he was ??

@Lauryn95 I'd do this.

He can't even be arsed to make up a lie, can he? I'd be kicking him to the curb. But I have very little tolerance for arsehole behaviour.

Benefit of the doubt, spiked drink??

He knows where he woke up this lornifn and how he got home even if he doesn’t remember all the details of last night. Really important to note: Were his friends panicking? And frantically retracing their steps searching for him? If not, why not? Because they knew he was safe and well. They just didn’t want to tell you. Honestly have you seen it when the lads actually loose someone and they don’t show up by the morning? - big panic. Everyone out on the search. If this didn’t happen then they all knew he was safe. He was somewhere that no one wants to tell you. Probably another woman. Unless there’s somewhere else you really wouldn’t want him to go that would be open at night.

It doesn't matter where he's been or what he's been up to. Kick him out for his lying and gaslighting!

I’m sorry OP, he has cheated.
Even if he was that drunk he doesn’t remember what happened, he knows for sure he woke up in someone else’s house or bed or hotel. And he knows where that was in town and he knows how he got back/walked/taxi etc.
He couldn’t even be bothered to make up a lie

So this happened on Sat night / Sunday, and it's Tuesday morning now. What has he said since? What has his behaviour been like?

Surely, if he genuinely just passed out somewhere due to drink / drugs, he will at least know where he woke up (park bench, doorway, under table in a bar?) and how he got home. Has he said ANYTHING other than "I don't know"?

Call bullshit on him. Sit him down and say "You realise I was terrified for your safety. So talk me through what you remember." If he refuses to, he's OUT

My ex-husband used to do this. He was taking coke apparently. Sometimes he would remember he slept on a park bench, sometimes when I called a bartender or bar owner would pick up his phone and say he had fallen asleep in the bar (lived abroad at the time) and sometimes he would have no idea where he had been. This is what he said at least. I never got to the bottom of where he actually was but judging from the state he was in when he came home after these nights away, I am not sure he had the capacity to cheat.

This is repulsive behaviour and ofc he’s done something he shouldn’t.

If you're not married, you're going to find it tricky to get a divorce.

My dh got blind drunk many years ago. He got separated from the group and we had no idea where he was. I was pregnant with our first child, so sober. Me & my friends searched different routes on our way back to my house and couldn't find him so assumed he was home. He wasn't. He eventually came home at about 6am soaked through to the skin. He slept in a ditch under some leaves to keep warm. Despite how drunk he was he knew where he was & your husband knows where he was. Maybe he needs to stay away for a few days until his memory comes back.

Get an sti test! No way he didn't know where he was, where did he wake up? How did he get home?

Being married makes it a lot harder to get rid of dead wood.

Are you married OP, because in your first post you said 'partner' not 'DH'?

In any event you should even consider staying with someone who insults your intelligence like this.

This. Even ‘I don’t know’ is more plausible than ‘I can’t remember’.

Only you know your partner, but I can think of 3 occasions in my life where I have woken up in my bed and cannot remember how the hell I got there.

All due to alcohol (2 of the occasions I think my drink was spiked)

The most memorable was having no recollection whatsoever of the hours between 10pm and 12pm the next day, when I woke in my bed. Friends spent the next few days filling me in on the evening that I couldn't remember. No flashbacks. No recall. Nothing. Couldn't even remember the taxi I shared with my friend at 5am that took us home.

Nothing untoward happened to me. I had a cracking night by the sounds of it.

So there is a chance he genuinely cannot remember.

Of course he knows. He just doesn't want to tell you.

So what, he’s saying he doesn’t know where he woke up and where he came home from? Seriously?

Even if he doesn't remember what happened during the night he'd definitely know where he woke up, is he that stupid to think you'd believe otherwise?

Aw God he can't even make up a good excuse.

Doesn't remember where he woke up or how he made it home? Ffs he's not even trying.

He thinks you were born yesterday. Sorry OP but it sounds like he cheated.

I’d want to check his call log asap.

You’ll see if he called a taxi etc and if his friends genuinely did lose him then there’s be loads of missed calls off of them.

Get him chucked today, OP.

Whether he's cheated or not, he's lied to you about it.

There's no way he doesn't know where he stayed.

He's playing the "can't remember" card as he is stupid enough to think that isn't lying.

I'd probably come to terms with my OH having a one night stand, but I'd never come to terms with him having so little respect that he'd lie by playing the "cant' remember" card to think that is better than lying. Lying, for me, is the deal breaker! Honesty is the most important aspect of any relationship - once the trust is broken, there's no way back, for me anyway!

Assume he's an ex-boyfriend now eh?

You're never going to find out, so try not to drive yourself mad thinking about it!!

I think you should really go and get yourself medically tested and let him know you are doing this! No sex with him before you chuck him out either!