Did this really happen?! Why didn't I react?

Fuck, men are vile.

Sorry this happened to you OP. I think most would freeze in that situation - I certainly have in the past. It's like your brain can't quite comprehend what is happening when, what should be a perfectly polite encounter, turns into a sinister assault - it's jarring.

So fucking sick of this bullshit tbh - you're not even safe shopping with your baby ffs!! I hope you're ok

In my teens I was walking down steps into the underground and a man slid his hand up my skirt to my crotch and laughed when I swore at him. That was in the 90s.

If it happened now I would definitely have reported it because he was a disgusting sexual predator.

Having said that, I have not been scarred by the incident although I was really fucking angry. With so much CCTV these days we need to call these perverts out whenever we can.

You really do just freeze in these situations - it is just so unexpected.

When I was younger I went to the 24 hour garage to get a sandwich as I was feeling a bit peckish. The main door was closed and I went to the hatch, the lad said I could go in and opened the door - I figured he thought it would be easier for me to choose my own sandwich so went in and did so - took it to the till and he put both his hands on my breasts.

I didn't say anything at all. I just paid for my sandwich and left. Got home, felt horrible about it and rang my friend who persuaded me to call the police who went and arrested him - it was on CCTV.

But I still can't believe I didn't do anything or didn't even say anything. I would do now but only because of that experience.

Yes we did care. It’s sexual assault. When it happened to me in the 90’s I did care a lot. I was getting off a train and as we shuffled down the aisle a creep grabbed my arse. I grabbed his hand and held it in the air and shouted ‘has anyone lost this, I just found it stuck to my arse!’ Hope it put him off doing it again!

Honestly, who hasn't fondled up and down a friend's leg thinking it was some kind of long naked jointed horror cat thing? Who hasn't crept up behind a lady on a lift and grabbed her backside under the impression that this is where the strokeable babies live? And now I'm scaring myself a little.

Seriously though, OP, a lot of people have frozen in shock, distress, shame, confusion or fear, and have a need to seem polite or behave well in this sort of situation. The sudden unexpected transgression of normal boundaries leads to a sort of cognitive dissonance. I think predators rely on this to get away with things. Very sorry it happened to you.

We fucking weren't

It happened to me back in the 90s - standing at a checkout and a creep went past me and rubbed up against me - the shock of it caused me to call him a dirty bastard out loud - he just kept walking, but people looked at him. It was quite shocking - no matter what decade it happened (what a stupid thing to say R37sraY!)

Either this is a wind up or your friend has a seriously hairy leg!

What an old perv, report it. It happened to me in the 90s, lots of times, it was unacceptable and vile but there was nothing you could do.

And why did you name change so soon after coming onto this thread?

Now I've heard it all 😂

I'm not sure it was irrational as such. Freeze is a naturally protective state against making a threatening or harmful situation potentially worse. You got you and your daughter to safety without anything escalating at the soonest possible time. If your daughter was unaware of the incident occurring, you've shielded her from it and maintained her innocence.

Now you are both in safety, you can start to process it, and take action (if you wish) to right the injustice by reporting it.

Is it likely that OP’s arse cheeks were in the pram?

I'm so sorry you experienced this Op, what a horrible violation in a confined space.
I completely understand your reaction to freeze. I've been in a very similar situation before, and I think I wanted to shield the wife? It kind of felt like I could get away from it quickly, but she would need to face an awful situation on her own?

I don't know if I'm explaining it right. I hope it makes sense.

Also hope you're ok.

What a bizarre situation for you op. Report it.

I vividly remember it happening to me in 1990, I would have been 16 and I definitely cared.

Definitely go easy on yourself. None of us know what we'd do in those exact circumstances. He is a dirty old perv and men like him get away with it because women have been subconsciously trained to be silent for generations! His wife was being nice to your baby, in that moment you didn't want to upset her. It's irrational, but shocked people do irrational things. I'd report it and try to get the CCTV. It could help another female. Maybe a young girl next time. 💐

Of course you are justifying it. That's exactly what you've just done, there, again. FFS. The toddler was in the pram. Why would this man have thought he was stroking the toddler (also weird and boundary crossing!) when he was stood behind the OP.

I should think you didn't react as it was such an unexpected thing to happen, you had your child to protect so you did the safest thing which was to avoid an altercation.

I wonder if they have CCTV in the lift, to catch shoplifters or whatever.

You could ask to see the cctv.

Definitely report x

Oh stop it. I'm not justifying it. Im Asking could it have been a mistake ! I once had an awkward moment where I thought I was stroking my cat but it was my friends leg

Report it if you feel up to it OP but don't feel at all silly for reacting the way you did.

I like to think I'd turn around and scream in a man's face for doing something like that to me now, but I know from previous experience my reaction was also to freeze up and do nothing. Sorry this has happened to you.

No, you're just a minimising apologist for a sexual predator. The decade is irrelevant. You may not have cared, the very large majority of us in 1990 would have felt the same as the OP.