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AIBU?

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Original poster

Just a cup

178 replies

Huromjuicemaker · 09/10/2023 08:00

MIL lives nearby and sometimes comes over to our flat while we are out (with the excuse of) to drop off some eggs or washing we'd put on her line etc. While she is in she will potter a bit, have a cup of tea and wash anything in the bowl. She is just bored really and we don't mind.
Yesterday we couldn't find DH's favorite mug which I bought him as a gift, hand painted, not cheap china etc. MIL sent DH a message to say she'd accidentally broken it. He sounded annoyed but we agreed its not the end of the world. But I saw his messages later and their conversation went like this:
MIL. btw I broke your mug, i was washing up and it just slipped, sorry
DH. that's ok i didn't like it that much
MIL. worked out ok then!

Now I feel so betrayed, can't even look at him and don't want her in the house

OP posts:
Bellaboo01 · 09/10/2023 13:48

YABU - it is just a cup!!!

Buy him a new one.

Goldbar · 09/10/2023 13:44

Three possibilities:

  1. He liked it and was (clumsily) being kind to MIL. Her response was a bit off/flippant but I imagine she was a bit embarrassed about breaking something and relieved it didn't seem to be a big deal.

  2. As above, only rather than liking it, he was indifferent to the mug and trying to save MIL's feelings.

  3. He didn't like it and has been pretending to save your feelings. Tbh I can't see what's too awful about this... it's quite sweet of him. And if this, it's good that you know now so you can improve on your gift-buying for him in future.

My money's on 2. He probably didn't really care about the mug but has been using it since you gave it to him and it was around.

Iknowthis1 · 09/10/2023 13:44

"So its a conclusive then, I am over reacting?"

Spectacularly so.

CheshireCat1 · 09/10/2023 13:40

Your husband was being nice to his Mum and his Mum is just trying to be helpful. My husband accidentally dropped my favourite mug the other day, it’s a non issue.

Shadowonasun · 09/10/2023 13:30

Did you log it with the police? They won't do anything, but it wouldn't hurt to leave a paper trail just in case. Do this, if you haven't already, then get your ducks in a row, book a spa day to de-stress and then LTB! He totally betrayed your trust and there's no coming back from this.

No, but seriously. 'I can't look at him!' over a mug! I love mumsnet for precisely this batshittery.

And how does one 'see someone's messages'? You mean, you snooped, so just say so.

SmileyClare · 09/10/2023 13:29

I’d wonder if it was an accident

🤣 😂

Yep she’s a psychopath- it was one of those hand painted mugs that can’t go in the dishwasher and mil was sick of it.

NoWinterYear · 09/10/2023 13:15

Why don't you want her in the house considering it was dh who said something hurtful and not her?

Also why are you reading his messages?

To be honest you sound a bit horrible. You dismiss the things she does for you by saying she's bored and you said she does them as an excuse. An excuse for what? For being nice and helpful? And then you Blame her for something your dh said. And you read his messages.

Yes, I'd say yabu.

Hankunamatata · 09/10/2023 13:11

Sorry but I laughed out loud. It's a mug. You brought it. He loved it because you brought it not because he liked the mug.
He was making his mum feel better

NigelFaragesTinyConscience · 09/10/2023 13:11

Yes over reacting .

kitsuneghost · 09/10/2023 13:08

Seriously!!!
She broke a mug, felt bad, DH comforted her by saying he didn't like it anyway
No more than that
Yes its just a cup

RampantIvy · 09/10/2023 13:08

Why does she have a key?

Zola1 · 09/10/2023 13:05

Why are you reading your husbands messages with his mum

foulksmills · 09/10/2023 13:03

Do you feel betrayed because he lied to his mother and should have stood up for the cup? Been more honest about how much the cup had always meant to him?

Or do you feel betrayed because it turns out he never truly loved the cup and was faking it all along and lying to you about the strength of his feelings towards the cup?

Cowlover89 · 09/10/2023 12:57

Yabu

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 09/10/2023 12:38

Huromjuicemaker · 09/10/2023 09:52

So its a conclusive then, I am over reacting?

Yes. He probably just said that so his Mum would feel better.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 09/10/2023 12:11

Are you feeling a bit mugged off, OP?

I’ll get my coat.

Abitslow · 09/10/2023 11:02

What happens if she dropped your DH favourite socks off the line and he sends a message there just socks will it end in divorce.

ASCCM · 09/10/2023 10:51

Hahahahahah IMAGINE a life so lacking that you got this upset over a mug??????

HoppingPavlova · 09/10/2023 10:46

Seems like an enormous overreaction.

Abitslow · 09/10/2023 10:39

Huromjuicemaker · 09/10/2023 09:52

So its a conclusive then, I am over reacting?

Yes you are over reacting.

Betrayed over a mug really.
Looking at his messages from his own mother.🙄you got trust issues.
Madness.

KrisAkabusi · 09/10/2023 10:38

Huromjuicemaker · 09/10/2023 09:52

So its a conclusive then, I am over reacting?

Yes, massively!

SmileyClare · 09/10/2023 10:31

He probably wasn’t keen on the mug but didn’t like to say because of your tendency to “over react”

Id find it quite endearing if my dh pretended the mug I gave him was his favourite even though he thought it was big and hideous 😂

QforCucumber · 09/10/2023 10:21

Now I feel so betrayed, can't even look at him

Does he know that you've read the conversation between him and his mum? If not I wonder how he'd feel about that

MrsSkylerWhite · 09/10/2023 10:07

You don’t want her in the house?!

What about him? He’s the one at fault.

SkyeBlue28 · 09/10/2023 10:06

He was probably trying to make his mother feel better. I would do the same.

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