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AIBU?

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Just a cup

178 replies

Huromjuicemaker · 09/10/2023 08:00

MIL lives nearby and sometimes comes over to our flat while we are out (with the excuse of) to drop off some eggs or washing we'd put on her line etc. While she is in she will potter a bit, have a cup of tea and wash anything in the bowl. She is just bored really and we don't mind.
Yesterday we couldn't find DH's favorite mug which I bought him as a gift, hand painted, not cheap china etc. MIL sent DH a message to say she'd accidentally broken it. He sounded annoyed but we agreed its not the end of the world. But I saw his messages later and their conversation went like this:
MIL. btw I broke your mug, i was washing up and it just slipped, sorry
DH. that's ok i didn't like it that much
MIL. worked out ok then!

Now I feel so betrayed, can't even look at him and don't want her in the house

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Nagado · 12/10/2023 19:42

He’s either told his mum a little white lie so she doesn’t feel guilty about breaking it, or he’s told you a little white lie that he likes it, so he doesn’t hurt your feelings. Either way, he’s trying not to upset one or both of you. It’s understandable that you’re disappointed that he isn’t as upset over your gift as you’d like him to be, but he hasn’t betrayed you.

NorthernSarcasticandDownrightFantastic · 11/10/2023 20:00

Life must be either really hard for you, feeling persecuted like this and taking everything personally, or really charmed in that this is classed as betrayal... I thought you were going to say MIL had cleaned up after the mistress left or something!

Daisyblue77 · 11/10/2023 17:28

You sound spoilt . Your MIL is going out if her way to help you, she pops in with things for you and to return washing and you call them ‘excuses’ you seem to of had no problem with her running round after you and doing you housework until now. Be careful you will notice when she realises what you think of her and stops helping ,yes you are massively overreacting

Floralie222 · 11/10/2023 14:49

If anyone accidentally broke anything of mine, and owned up to it, then the only acceptable response in my opinion is "don't worry, it was nothing". You can't fix it or go back in time and why make someone feel bad over an accident? It's not like she was a child being careless with other people's belongings.

I would consider myself very fortunate if something so trivial as a broken mug was my biggest problem in a marriage!

ARR84 · 11/10/2023 14:49

Get a grip and get a real problem. You're massively overreacting.

M4J4 · 11/10/2023 11:28

ellebelli · 11/10/2023 09:55

Its just a cup...
No it's a fucking cup!
Who else can only hear this!
(Watch the goat video if you haven't already its great)

Can you link? Searching for it's just a up on YouTube brought up this New Zealand Women's refuge ad. Terrifying.

Womens Refuge Advertisment

This was aired in New Zealand a few years ago, quiet shocking and gets the message across.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50T0dxHZsjU

M4J4 · 11/10/2023 11:27

viques · 10/10/2023 17:06

By mending a cup? That’s a low bar for degradation!

Why would OP mend a cup that MIL broke and DH says he didn't like anyway?

I agree with pp, your suggestion is degrading to OP.

Weareallmadhere2 · 11/10/2023 11:22

Imagine your utter disgust when you find out sometimes men lie when they say they like your nails/hair/outfit...
🤣🤣

ellebelli · 11/10/2023 09:55

Its just a cup...
No it's a fucking cup!
Who else can only hear this!
(Watch the goat video if you haven't already its great)

Littlegreene82 · 11/10/2023 06:19

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PositanoBay · 10/10/2023 23:33

What you need to do is to hold your left wrist with your right hand and Get a Grip

steff13 · 10/10/2023 20:45

viques · 10/10/2023 17:06

By mending a cup? That’s a low bar for degradation!

I don't agree that the OP would be degrading herself but I can see if she had to fish it out of the trash that someone might see it that way.

xxx82 · 10/10/2023 20:40

I think it’s mostly just that you’ve seen a throwaway comment that wasn’t meant for you. Yes, not ideally worded if meant for you. But it doesn’t sound like it was.

Sounds like he was stuck between a rock and a hard place with 2 people whose feelings he appears to care about. and he has told both of you what he thought you each needed to hear.

Did he contradict himself a bit and say something to each of you that would make the other feel worse if they knew - yes. But doesn’t sound like it was done with malice. Sounds like he was just trying to save both your feelings.

And he walked this tightrope over a broken mug! Kudos to him for having the patience!

cassy16 · 10/10/2023 17:41

It’s a fucking mug 😂😂 honestly your being unreal let alone unreasonable!! He was trying to not make his mum feel like she was in trouble over an accident get a grip

Leopardpj · 10/10/2023 17:30

c

Littlegreene82 · 10/10/2023 17:10

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Littlegreene82 · 10/10/2023 17:09

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viques · 10/10/2023 17:06

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By mending a cup? That’s a low bar for degradation!

Littlegreene82 · 10/10/2023 16:51

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Littlegreene82 · 10/10/2023 16:50

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viques · 10/10/2023 16:48

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I was being kinder than most of the comments on this thread. It’s a mean girls coach party outing.

M4J4 · 10/10/2023 16:42

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💯

Littlegreene82 · 10/10/2023 16:41

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5foot5 · 10/10/2023 16:39

Storm in a tea cup.

purplecorkheart · 10/10/2023 16:33

Sounds like he told a white lie to spare your Mom's feelings and to stop her worrying.

The fact you are looking at his messages without you knowing.