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Original poster

School overreacted ?

184 replies

JimmyJam2019 · 08/10/2023 00:04

Child is barely 7, had full weight for school racism policy applied to them for calling an 11yo a poo. On the playground daring each other to call the big kids rude words. Older kid reported child for racist comment, can school not use some common sense, the kid is 7 and has no clue about racism.

OP posts:
MumblesParty · 08/10/2023 09:43

saraclara · 08/10/2023 09:33

The child is six. All he needed was taking in one side and the teacher explaining that a) running round calling people poo is silly and b) it's particularly bad to call someone with brown skin a poo, because they could think you're saying it's because their skin is brown.

A two day suspension is far less effective and will lead to resentment. It will also be counter productive because a six year old sees things very simply and will probably blame the boy who reported him (and possibly start resenting other people of similar colour).

Action needs to be proportionate. This wasn't

Exactly. A young child will probably learn from this that the best thing is not to talk to dark skinned children, because you get into trouble. He might understand the explanation that poo is brown and therefore it can be seen as a racist insult to use that word, but his abiding memory will be that he said the same “naughty” word as his friends, but they didn’t get into trouble, because they said it to white children. Teaching him young to treat dark skinned people differently.

piintheski · 08/10/2023 09:43

JimmyJam2019 · 08/10/2023 09:39

Appreciate the comments, all the children said poo to multiple children of multiple ethnicities.
Literally shouting one word, not as part of a sentence.
Other words used were willy and bum, apparently.

This is certainly an issue of name calling which is to be dealt with.

Edited

I don't understand why you think any of this is relevant.

Your child behaved appallingly and has a well deserved two day isolation.

In addition to that, one occasion at least was perceived as racist, and the school have acted accordingly

I hope you are following up with consequences at home

surreygirl1987 · 08/10/2023 09:41

Appreciate the comments, all the children said poo to multiple children of multiple ethnicities.
Literally shouting one word, not as part of a sentence.
Other words used were willy and bum, apparently

Oh I see - no, school is being OTT in that case. That's ridiculous.

surreygirl1987 · 08/10/2023 09:41

That does sound OTT. But was the older kid targeted BECAUSE he/she is black?

Also, why does a 7 year old not know anything about racism?

Original poster
JimmyJam2019 · 08/10/2023 09:39

Appreciate the comments, all the children said poo to multiple children of multiple ethnicities.
Literally shouting one word, not as part of a sentence.
Other words used were willy and bum, apparently.

This is certainly an issue of name calling which is to be dealt with.

OP posts:
MumblesParty · 08/10/2023 09:37

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 08/10/2023 09:30

Do you think the child randomly singled out the black child and randomly said one randomly insulting word to him?

And only him?

Really?

Show quote history

No, I don’t. I think they were saying poo to all the kids, and not even noticing their skin colour. Which is why I think the school were ridiculous to call it racist.

saraclara · 08/10/2023 09:33

The child is six. All he needed was taking in one side and the teacher explaining that a) running round calling people poo is silly and b) it's particularly bad to call someone with brown skin a poo, because they could think you're saying it's because their skin is brown.

A two day suspension is far less effective and will lead to resentment. It will also be counter productive because a six year old sees things very simply and will probably blame the boy who reported him (and possibly start resenting other people of similar colour).

Action needs to be proportionate. This wasn't

Soontobe60 · 08/10/2023 09:32

JimmyJam2019 · 08/10/2023 07:13

School isolated my child from his class for two days.
They said poo to multiple children my kid just said it to the wrong kid.
Other kids not punished.

By ‘wrong kid’ do you mean the child was Black?

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 08/10/2023 09:32

Sunflowersinthewind · 08/10/2023 09:30

A child doesn't need to know what the term racist means. If they are using words to insult because someone looks different then that needs to be pulled up on regardless of whether they have been taught the definition of racism.

However, the crucial thing here is whether the child said poo because of the way the other child looked or if they were just using a standard 7 year old insult.

Well, the OP says they said it only to the non white child so on balance...

jenpil · 08/10/2023 09:32

Kaill · 08/10/2023 06:52

My 6yo struggles to even use He and She correctly. I doubt a child who is barely older understands racism. Kids just say poo a lot.

Yes. This.

Sunflowersinthewind · 08/10/2023 09:30

A child doesn't need to know what the term racist means. If they are using words to insult because someone looks different then that needs to be pulled up on regardless of whether they have been taught the definition of racism.

However, the crucial thing here is whether the child said poo because of the way the other child looked or if they were just using a standard 7 year old insult.

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 08/10/2023 09:30

MumblesParty · 08/10/2023 09:26

Absolutely ridiculous of the school to say that a 7 year old calling someone “poo” is racist. Poo is a common 7 year old “naughty word”, when they’re at the age when they don’t know worse words.
It's excessive and misplaced punishments like this that cause anger and intolerance.

Do you think the child randomly singled out the black child and randomly said one randomly insulting word to him?

And only him?

Really?

43ontherocksporfavor · 08/10/2023 09:30

2 day isolation when the other chn that said it get away without punishment sounds wrong. Speak to the school.
At my school this would likely result in a stern talk with HT and she would normally be able to tell by the reactions whether racism was at play.

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 08/10/2023 09:28

The fact that the OP refers to her child's victim in this way:

They said poo to multiple children my kid just said it to the wrong kid.
Other kids not punished. is very telling.

That the child only said "poo" to the black child absolutely makes it said with racist connotations.

If a 7 year old didn't know anything about racist slurs before, he does now. Job done.

The 11 year old has probably had enough of this "low level" shit (pun intended) going on all his life that he's going for zero tolerance. Good on him.

@JimmyJam2019 suck it up and educate your child not to make comments which are racist .

MumblesParty · 08/10/2023 09:26

Absolutely ridiculous of the school to say that a 7 year old calling someone “poo” is racist. Poo is a common 7 year old “naughty word”, when they’re at the age when they don’t know worse words.
It's excessive and misplaced punishments like this that cause anger and intolerance.

ohdamnitjanet · 08/10/2023 09:25

JimmyJam2019 · 08/10/2023 07:13

School isolated my child from his class for two days.
They said poo to multiple children my kid just said it to the wrong kid.
Other kids not punished.

Actually tbf I think that is quite harsh, and I say this as a parent who’s bi racial child’s skin has been compared to poo. If you’re a brown kid, it’s racist to you whatever the intent.

StillWantingADog · 08/10/2023 09:23

At that age I’d expect child to be spoken to but isolated for 2 days??? Wtf

ohdamnitjanet · 08/10/2023 09:22

footiemum3 · 08/10/2023 04:51

Sadly children do use the term poo as a racist insult, my boys were a similar age when another child told them their Dad was the same colour as poo. My boys are olive skinned while their Dad is Asian. Wether your son was using it as a racist term or not, you need to be asking why they thought it ok or funny to call other children nasty names. I am a teacher in a primary school and would find that behaviour very worrying and certainly not acceptable or standard for a 6 year old.

This, they definitely do. It was said to my bi-racial son years ago and I wish the school had acted this strongly. Stop this behaviour in its tracks.

YellowRibbon710 · 08/10/2023 09:21

direbollockal · 08/10/2023 09:16

I think whether your son had racist intentions doesn't matter. The other child was offended. It's an opportunity to learn

FGS. Nobody can say anything without someone else claiming to be offended. I have had years of children at school, and have never come across "poo" being racist.

This is a massive mountain out of a very tiny molehill. Young children think it's funny to say "poo". They think it's funny to call one another "poo". The 7 yr olds all need to be told en masse to stop being so silly, and the older children need to be told en masse not to pay any attention to younger children being silly. That ought to be the end of it.

Doesn't matter whether you think it's racist or not though. It can be used as a racist slur and it is 100% right the child was punished for using it to address a black kid.

We absolutely should not be teaching kids not to pay attention if they feel they have been subjected to racism. If your child was disabled, would you say they should tolerate discriminatory language? Absolutely not.

BravoMyDear · 08/10/2023 09:20

DeniseSecunda · 08/10/2023 07:31

So MLK and Rosa Parks were American. Would children in the UK learn about them...?

Show quote history

Of course they would! Do you think children only learn about British history in school?

Thesearmsofmine · 08/10/2023 09:18

I think the punishment was ridiculous for a 6 year old. A reminder to all children involved that name calling isn’t acceptable and an assembly about celebrating differences would have been more appropriate.
We can’t know what or how the child in the OP used the term poo.

direbollockal · 08/10/2023 09:16

I think whether your son had racist intentions doesn't matter. The other child was offended. It's an opportunity to learn

FGS. Nobody can say anything without someone else claiming to be offended. I have had years of children at school, and have never come across "poo" being racist.

This is a massive mountain out of a very tiny molehill. Young children think it's funny to say "poo". They think it's funny to call one another "poo". The 7 yr olds all need to be told en masse to stop being so silly, and the older children need to be told en masse not to pay any attention to younger children being silly. That ought to be the end of it.

itsgettingweird · 08/10/2023 09:15

GreenwichOrTwicks · 08/10/2023 08:12

I had similar with primary school. There was a child being violent to others in the class. Teachers did nothing and the children were every upset by it. My son (6) and his friend hid the bully’s lunch box behind a tree -re playground supervisor saw and I as hauled in to listen to the head teacher berating him for racism. We were told the bully was a refuge. None of us had any idea but was then clear why he was never punished -the teachers didn’t dare.
My sn was very upset -he is most definitely not racist and has -and had good friends of all cultures. The school was actively promoting racism and division! Luckily we were able to move him to a better school.

Similar happened to my son is secondary.

The boy is question tipped yoghurt down his back on his 2nd day there but they said no proof do nothing happened.

2 weeks later I got texts from him stick in the toilet after PE by some kids throwing his stuff at him and him too scared to leave (was on transport as ehcp).

Yet - somehow - he managed to be the calling the original kid a racist name at the same time. Reported by other pupils. He was punished severely.

Didn't matter apparently that he couldn't possibly have been calling the kid a racist name in maths when he was in a completely different class (PE) at the time. And of course him being bullied was never investigated.

They have to react to any racism claims full stop and report. Seems they can't take a view of investigations actual facts.

2 years later the same children called him a spastic cunt on kahoot in public. It was after calling him autism boy and being warned, then spastic autism boy and being threatened with detention and removal. (Ds has a MND and is autistic)

They were removed from the kahoot session and given a detention.

I had to send a VERY strongly worded email about their discrimination towards people with different protected characteristics.
I threatened going to the police and reporting it as a hate crime unless they received equal punishments to DS for doing something that wasn't witnessed that he wasn't even present for. (Luckily because they were using their phones for kahoot ds managed to get a screenshot).

I think everything should be investigated and taken EXTREMELY seriously. But there has to be a point we don't apply intentionality where it doesn't exist and where there's evidence it couldn't have happened then it's treated properly.

My ds was still affected by being accused of racism years later as he couldn't understand how he could be punished for something the school even admitted he couldn't have been present for based solely on the fact they had to react because it was reported. Confused

YellowRibbon710 · 08/10/2023 09:11

Also, your 7 year old should know what racism is. If he doesn't, then you should teach him. Early education on these issues is key.

piintheski · 08/10/2023 09:09

Bookish88 · 08/10/2023 09:07

@piintheski it absolutely is.

That doesn't automatically mean it's appropriate to say, which is why the context and age of child is relevant, to understand whether they should have known that.

It absolutely isn't and it is very shocking indeed that you seem to think it is