School overreacted ?

Surely the school need to explain why they felt this name calling was racist? That’s a very big accusation to launch at a 7 year old. Just calling other kids ‘poo’ isn’t racist surely? My 4 year old says ‘poo’ almost every other word and his favourite (generally jokey) insults are ‘poo head’ and ‘poo monster’- but he is definitely not a racist!!

Totally OTT OP. All of the children should have been punished/had a stern talking to for using rude words. To single one out for a 2 day isolation is totally ridiculous.

Sometimes in these situations, our school asks the offending children to write a letter of apology.. that seems to be a nice way to deal with it.

That all sounds rather ridiculous to me & making an issue where there most likely wasn't one. Poo, poo, poo - racism doesn't easily spring to mind. Children call each other lots of things at that age and there's usually very little conscious intention of anything like racism. I expect the word poo will be banned now...

That sounds ridiculous. Surely 'You're all very silly and rude' would be sufficient?
I hope you went into school and brought him straight home.

Good grief. You cannot be serious.

@Daisybuttercup12345
"So the OP is a racist parent in your opinion?"

Can't be sure of course. But I wouldn't be surprised.

We were told the bully was a refuge. None of us had any idea but was then clear why he was never punished -the teachers didn’t dare.
This is a ridiculous thing to suggest @GreenwichOrTwicks
I spend a fair amount of time in a sanctuary school - lots of refugee/asylum seeking children. I don’t not punish them if they misbehave. They follow the same rules as everyone else and receive the same consequences if they don’t - one thing these children need is structure and rules. It feels safe.

Was it Apu? As in the shopkeeper in the simpsons?

So the OP is a racist parent in your opinion?

@Bookish88 seriously? You think saying you are brown like poo is just a factual statement?even very young kids know that poo is not something beautiful or desirable (which is why they love the word so much because they know it's slightly naughty).

I assume you also think the child who heard this should feel neutral or happy about being compared to shit?

If someone said to a white child that their skin looks like snot would you think that's just a statement of fact and they should just accept it? And this knowing that the white child probably doesn't hear a lot how their skin is snot coloured..

Just for information, this is from UNICEF. "Studies have shown that by age 5, children can show signs of racial bias, such as treating people from one racial group more favourably than the other. Ignoring or avoiding the topic isn’t protecting children, it’s leaving them exposed to bias that exists wherever we live."

I'm just surprised it's never come up. Our school does various projects around black history month throughout October. My 5 year old has just done a project on Christopher Columbus and learned about how he brought many of the Taino people back to Spain as slaves. He once asked why the football players had gone on one knee. Do you not talk to your child about the world?

He's never experienced it himself but he should know so that if he sees it he understands why it's so wrong.

But why is it that you would judge me?

I have stated that I, as a white person who has never experienced racism, don’t feel it is my place to initiate conversations about racism with my son, who is a also white person who has never experienced racism, because I don’t want snippets of those conversations to make their way into his friendship group.

The feelings and experiences of my son’s friends trump my need to “educate” my child on matters that do not affect us. I will happily discuss racism with my son when those conversations start happening. But I will certainly not be the one to draw attention to skin colour and have the topic of racism led by my white son.

You would really judge me for that?

Your comment, and the one calling my son “very privileged” is the reason why I don’t usually engage on threads like this.

All I did was share my son’s experience of having friends from non white backgrounds, and stating that no racism exists within his friendship group. You’d think that would be a positive thing.

You see my son has never picked up on racism because I’m not racist, nor is his father or our families. None of the other white families are racists either. But you have tried to infer that I am in fact racist because I have stated that I have friends from Black and Asian backgrounds.

All you do is shut down discussion. And I know you don’t see it, but people like you are a massive part of the problem.

Completely different. The word 'monkey' is most definitely racist. The word 'poo' is children being children, with no racist connotations whatsoever.

She's a she and it was a joke. Radical I know ... 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Also, a child that hasn't called another child something along the lines of "poo head" at one time or another is a rare find indeed.

Your thinly veiled "I have some friends who aren't white and so I'm not racist" is very telling.

I think @NoWinterYear has explained it really well. It is a complex issue. The boy might not have intended the name in a racist way at all but the other boy perceived it that way. That could be of how other people have treated him and what's been said to him before.

The school had to act. But I don't think 2 day's isolation is appropriate.

Why not teach him not to yell insults of any description? Radical, I know...

Quite eye opening this thread.

Think I'm going to advise my 6 year old to call people twats instead as poo might be perceived as racist and they'll get a lighter punishment.

@MankyMinge kids are not colour blind. Research has shown that even very young kids absolutely do understand who looks similar to them and who doesn't and more importantly, who looks like the majority and who doesn't. And kids do favour (or respect more) the ones that they see as being part of the dominant group.

I used to be called chocolate face in primary and an acquaintance of mine was called shit face. We are both non white and it was definitely meant in a racist way. I'd also say it's fairly common to compares non white faces to poo. I mean it's a common racist taunt.

It's also ever toddler's favourite word. My own kids use poo head and its variations fairly often and I can totally imagine that your child didn't mean anything racist by it.

However, looking at it from the point of view of the child who got called poo, did they know it wasn't meant in a racist way? Did they know they were not the only child targeted with this stupid game? (And you do need to agree that it is a silly game and very likely to get someone in trouble or cause offense). Have they experienced racist abuse and are therefore more likely to interpret the situation in that way? All these questions don't mean your son is racist but it means that when something like this happens the school needs to do something and I suppose they need to be seen to do something. If this child is used to racist remarks then just dismissing this incident would obviously hurt them even more.

However, it's difficult to say this is the best way to deal with this. Ideally the school would have taken the trouble to explain to the kids why their game was so silly and why being called names that are innocuous in one situation can be much more offensive in another. Ideally they'd have punished all the kids involved but I assume they might not even know who all the other kids are. They know your son was involved because someone complained so they had to do something about your son and they had to show that they are aware of the possible racial angle here and that this word might have hurt this kid in a way that it wouldn't hurt a white kid. And they have to show that racism isn't acceptable and kids need to be aware of this. I'm not saying they handled it correctly or that your son's punishment isn't over the top but it's also not as simple as saying it's just an unfortunate coincidence that your son picked a non white kid and therefore the school should just ignore this.

My child has no peers who aren't white. I will certainly teach them about racism when the subject comes up but I don't know why I would when they're so young and it's not something that's come up yet.

I'm not sure why you thought my comment was patronising.

If your 6/7 year old does not know anything about racism they are in a very priviliged position. Many 6/7 years olds are the victims of racism and many of their peers are racist - whether knowingly or unknowingly.

If your child doesn't understand what racism is how will they understand what words they hear from others it's ok to copy? Do you tell your child about kindness or would you think it's ok for them to go and tell someone that they are fat? Would you think it's ok for them to tell a brown skinned person that they were dirty and needed to wash (a comment that I frequently heard at age 7 from other children, by the way)? Does your child understand the difference between these 2 (both unkind) remarks?

@Vivi0 "If I don’t start teaching my son about racism by time he is 7 you said you would judge me as a parent."

Yes, I would. Apart from anything else, I suspect that your many non white friends will already have had to have such conversations with their children.