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AIBU?

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Original poster

It's an off lead dog one.

260 replies

Maluki · 07/10/2023 19:43

I walk my dog in the local park every day. There are sections where he is on lead and sections where I let him off. He is extremely used to people and dogs and generally very well behaved.

As we arrive at the park I always let him off lead and he does a poo. This is on a field area beside a path.

Today he did his poo in the field about 6 feet off the path as usual. I noticed a man in a suit approaching along the path. My dog then went back on to the path to wait for me and I leaned down to pick up the poo.

Very very unusually, my dog started to bark - he barked 4 or 5 times - and I saw he was now behind the man (who had walked past him). I was about to apologize, my dog almost never barks at people (he sometimes barks at really unusual things like a person wearing a sombrero or riding a tricycle, and this guy wasn't wearing anything unusual, except a slightly dishevelled suit on a Saturday morning). The man totally lost it at me. He started screaming that he had been bitten on the back of the leg by a dog, that my dog and dogs like him are aggressive and that it would bite my children and kill them (I didn't have my kids with me). He told me to get the dog away from him or he would kick it in the head. My dog is a bloody 10 lb cavapoo!

I appreciate that my dog should not have barked and that the man was triggered. If he had shouted to put it on a lead, before he walked past it, I would gladly have done so. My dog has excellent recall, and is completely reliable on the "wait" signal. He's actually a dream to get back on lead - but I hadn't called him over as there was no sign of what was about to happen. I do wonder if this man inadvertently spooked my dog or even kicked out at him in fear or something as it's so unusual for him to bark at people like that.

Aibu to think that the man, in his fear, may have inadvertently caused the dogs reaction? And that my dog behaved badly but it could have been avoided if the man had just called out for me to hold the dog?

OP posts:
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surreygirl1987 · 12/10/2023 19:32

I am not squabbling with anyone

🙈

sandyhappypeople · 12/10/2023 01:19

I've got three dogs, frequently walk them off lead as you describe, I think I would have done something slightly different to you only in that I would have called the dog back to me as I saw the man approaching.

It can be disconcerting for a person to cross paths with a dog off lead, as you're not sure if they are going to dodge in front of you and get under your feet or not (little dogs are the WORST for that!), or if they may bark, chase you or try and bite you, or anything really, you were obviously distracted picking up the poo so he couldn't look to you and your body language to make sure everything was okay. He most definitely overreacted, but that's his prerogative I suppose.

If I'm not on the footpath with them to heel, I always call my dogs away from footpaths if people are approaching them because it's polite, I also don't trust people not to be nutters, there are some real weirdos out there, one old guy on a scooter went to hit one of ours with his stick on a promenade once, the dog (same size as yours) was just in front of us walking past him in the opposite direction, wasn't interested in him or in his way in the slightest, just ambling along, so it caught me off guard, he just shot his stick out to hit her, he had to extend his arm to try and make contact but luckily she is quick and she ran past and he missed.. I'm not sure what I'd have actually done if he'd have made contact with her, I'd have definitely ragged that fucking stick out of his hand, nasty bastard.

Since then I'm a bit more wary, for the dog's sake as much as being polite to shared path users.

Original poster
Maluki · 12/10/2023 00:45

surreygirl1987 · 12/10/2023 00:00

Is that ok with you?

Oh you carry on as you please! Just amused really... you're not the first poster who has been disappointed that lost of people don't agree with her, enacted a 'flounce' by announcing they were leaving mumsnet forever... then didn't actually go and kept squabbling with anyone who disagreed with her 🤦‍♀️ Now I see you're suggesting we 'let the thread die'... yet you keep on posting?

I am not squabbling with anyone.

I have barely engaged with anything regarding the dog for several pages. I did engage with the now banned poster whose posts I know for a fact you saw but chose not to condemn. It's very clear that I was leaving because of her incredibly vindictive comments about something that had nothing to do with the issue at hand, and which she reiterated and persisted with even after discovering that I have recently been on suicide watch over the autistic child she claimed I love less than my dog. That poster being banned restored my faith in the moderation team.

I don't understand why you are still here, what you want me to say or do that will make you leave it alone.

Goodnight.

OP posts:
80sMum · 12/10/2023 00:03

letstrythatagain · 07/10/2023 20:47

He was in a big field next to the path. You can't permanently keep a dog on a lead in public. They need to be able to run and sniff about. I get it on a high street etc but they have to be able to come off lead somewhere.

Show quote history

They don't have to do their sniffing about in a public place though, do they? They can do that in designated dog-walking fields or in their own back gardens, or any other private land, with the owner's permission, to which the public does not have access.

surreygirl1987 · 12/10/2023 00:00

Is that ok with you?

Oh you carry on as you please! Just amused really... you're not the first poster who has been disappointed that lost of people don't agree with her, enacted a 'flounce' by announcing they were leaving mumsnet forever... then didn't actually go and kept squabbling with anyone who disagreed with her 🤦‍♀️ Now I see you're suggesting we 'let the thread die'... yet you keep on posting?

Nepmarthiturn · 11/10/2023 23:26

nocoolnamesleft · 11/10/2023 20:40

I'm sorry, I didn't see a post getting at your disabled son. That is unacceptable.

It was horrible. I saw it but didn't dare say anything because MN have threatened to ban me before for calling out appalling posts made by others. Confused While I disagree with you on the dog issue, OP, I was not condoning those posts by staying silent on it, but didn't feel safe to get involved. I'm sorry. It was totally out of order what that poster said to you.

Nepmarthiturn · 11/10/2023 23:13

The earth is for every creature including you.

I presume if you get an infestation of bedbugs in your house you won't be treating it then. They have just as much right to be there as you, apparently.

Original poster
Maluki · 11/10/2023 20:55

Thank you for saying that. You are the first of the "anti dog" people to do so.

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 11/10/2023 20:40

I'm sorry, I didn't see a post getting at your disabled son. That is unacceptable.

Original poster
Maluki · 11/10/2023 20:39

nocoolnamesleft · 11/10/2023 19:43

No, I think you have read her point of view. You're showing little sign of having understood it. Or you would be accepting that it is the responsibility of the dog owner to keep their dog under control at all times, and no scaring passers by.

As I said several days ago, If you read my posts you will see I have
A) agreed the person was scared
B) agreed what I can do to avoid this next time, ie keep him on lead when picking up poo

At no point have I disagreed that an owner should keep their dog under control.

I have disagreed that my dog needs muzzling and I have corrected posters who are talking at dogs running at people etc, since that isn't what happened.

Tbh the last few pages have mostly been the same 4 or 5 posters who for whatever reason feel like I am insufficiently validating their viewpoint. I mostly stopped commenting as it was blatantly obvious that it was descending into a pile on. I also kind of feel like any moral high ground was lost when a certain poster started accusing me of not loving my disabled son, and not one of the repeat posters yelling at me called her out. In fact someone reported my post in defence of my disabled child, but not her attack.

I have no idea what you guys want from me anymore and you obviously aren't going to get it, so shall we just let the thread die?

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 11/10/2023 19:43

No, I think you have read her point of view. You're showing little sign of having understood it. Or you would be accepting that it is the responsibility of the dog owner to keep their dog under control at all times, and no scaring passers by.

Original poster
Maluki · 11/10/2023 18:20

surreygirl1987 · 10/10/2023 23:09

I have been on mumsnet for 15 years and I am leaving now.

I thought you'd left mumsnet...?! But you're back and still posting...?

Yes! Isn't it wonderful.
I was just waiting to permanently delete to find out the results of my reporting of a certain poster...and then mnhq emailed to say they had not only deleted the posts, but also banned that poster.

So I didn't need to leave as they were made to.

Is that ok with you?

You have posted 13 times on this thread now. I think I understand your POV 😚

OP posts:
rwalker · 11/10/2023 05:24

Mydogmybestfriend · 11/10/2023 00:46

Dogs are allowed off the lead in this country. Got a problem...move country. Dogs need to run, there are many no dogs allowed areas.

Man only reacted this way because you're a woman alone. Typical coward

It’s not being off the lead that’s the issue it’s the fact it’s not under control
that’s why people get pissed off with Dogs so want them on a lead
because we can’t rely on dogs being controlled or trained a big chunk of people want the default to be dogs in lead

I commute on a joint user path and at least 2 if not 3 times a week I have issues with off the lead dogs
I will and do shout at any dog owner male or female and have no issue with launching any dog that comes near me

the whole issue is untrained and uncontrolled dog coupled with precious dog owners who thinks everyone doesn’t mind there dog wondering up to them

people shouldn’t have to move countries dog owners should train and control dogs and not be entitled arseholes about it

unsure how you have worked out he only did it because she was a woman
men do confront men as well

KajsaKavat · 11/10/2023 00:56

NOOOOO, people who don’t want dogs approaching them shouldn’t have to politely ask that the owners be responsible. What is up with all these irresponsible selfish dog owners lately

Mydogmybestfriend · 11/10/2023 00:46

Dogs are allowed off the lead in this country. Got a problem...move country. Dogs need to run, there are many no dogs allowed areas.

Man only reacted this way because you're a woman alone. Typical coward

Mydogmybestfriend · 11/10/2023 00:45

Nepmarthiturn · 10/10/2023 23:38

but parks are paid for by everybody.

Parks are paid for by people. Not dogs.

The earth is for every creature including you.

Nepmarthiturn · 10/10/2023 23:38

but parks are paid for by everybody.

Parks are paid for by people. Not dogs.

surreygirl1987 · 10/10/2023 23:09

I have been on mumsnet for 15 years and I am leaving now.

I thought you'd left mumsnet...?! But you're back and still posting...?

surreygirl1987 · 10/10/2023 23:04

Didn't have time before he started yelling. Was about to.

🙄

Original poster
Maluki · 09/10/2023 19:48

SleepingStandingUp · 09/10/2023 18:34

Possibly his behaviour caused your dog to start barking but as soon as you realised he was barking at someone, you should have recalled him, not left him there barking

Didn't have time before he started yelling. Was about to.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 09/10/2023 19:39

@Baaaaaa some people really are scared of dogs. Many can’t tell the difference between excited barking and can’t wait to bite barking. Surely the best thing us dog owners can do is ensure our dogs don’t cause upset?

Baaaaaa · 09/10/2023 18:55

WiddlinDiddlin · 09/10/2023 18:18

What 'off lead craze'...

Dogs have been off lead for a variety of reasons since... before dogs were even dogs.

The more modern 'craze' is believing dogs should tolerate without any reaction, anything humans do, up to and including causing them fear and pain.

Particularly odd given we have laws about animal welfare that includes their need to:

"exhibit normal behaviour patterns"

and

"to be protected from pain, suffering, injury and disease."

This.

Baaaaaa · 09/10/2023 18:54

Wolfiefan · 07/10/2023 23:13

Dog issues cause much frothing on here. The behaviour of your dog made this man extremely uncomfortable.
It isn’t up to us as dog owners to decide how others should be happy to have our dogs behave around them. It’s up to us to ensure our dogs don’t upset people. That can mean anything from letting people make a fuss of your dogs to putting them on a lead or recalling them to prevent them upsetting people who aren’t happy to have dogs extremely close to them.

Some people are upset by the existence of dogs.

If someone is traumatised by a cocapoo barking at them a few times from several feet away, I would suggest it is them and not OP who needs to change.

I mean seriously. What have we become?

SleepingStandingUp · 09/10/2023 18:34

Possibly his behaviour caused your dog to start barking but as soon as you realised he was barking at someone, you should have recalled him, not left him there barking

Baaaaaa · 09/10/2023 18:29

Nepmarthiturn · 08/10/2023 10:53

He was in a big field next to the path. You can't permanently keep a dog on a lead in public. They need to be able to run and sniff about. I get it on a high street etc but they have to be able to come off lead somewhere.

That is what designated, fence-off dog exercise fields are for. And your own garden. There is no need to subject random members of the public to off-lead dogs.

Parks ARE designated dog exercise areas.

There are also areas where dogs are excluded and areas where dogs are permitted but only on lead. If a dog is off lead in an on lead area or present in a dog free area, you have a point, but parks are paid for by everybody.

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