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AIBU?

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Original poster

DLA Payments

184 replies

6Cactus · 04/10/2023 17:12

Hi

My son is in full receipt of DLA both components. (Emotional Issues, PTSD and OCD)

I was just wondering am I doing this right? Every month, I allow him to spend the money on whatever he wants. He is 12 years of age (Year 8) and the money is usually spent on Lego, games for his games consoles, art supplies, books etc.

Due to his diagnosis of OCD, the cost of living is very expensive. He will only eat certain foods and the food he likes is pretty expensive, not to mention how much clothing, trainers, underwear, socks and bedding I have to buy for him. To be honest with you, it is really hurts my pocket.

I work, but I’m a single parent, my son has no contact with his father, due to him being the reason why my son has emotional issues and PTSD.

So I don’t get any additional financial support.

Am I doing the right thing by letting him spend his DLA on whatever he wants? AIBU for thinking that slight percentage, perhaps 15-25% should go towards his cost of living?

If you are in receipt of DLA for your child(ren) what do you spend monthly payments on?

Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
nothingcomestonothing · 04/10/2023 17:21

No! Spend it on the extra expenses involved because of his extra needs, it's not his pocket money! Good grief. It's not meant to be for him to spend as he sees fit, he's a child.

BronnauMawrion · 04/10/2023 17:21

You can spend it how you like, but personally I would be using it towards every day living costs - as you say, life is expensive with a child with extra needs.
I wouldn't be using DLA for "pocket money" but that is my choice. There is no right or wrong.

3WildOnes · 04/10/2023 17:20

I would give him the whole amount. What rate does he receive? If it is middle rate then that is £250 a months, if lower I think just £100. I would probably give him £25 and then use the rest on his expenses.

Thewizardbinbag · 04/10/2023 17:20

He doesn’t need all that money and you actually do need it to help support him, more so than other parents as there are additional things you need to buy for him due to his needs. That’s what it is for; to help support his needs. When he is older, he can buy those things for himself but right now, you’re buying him the extra things he needs so you can use the benefit money.

Brendabigbaps · 04/10/2023 17:19

We use it for extra curricular activities that she benefits from and the cost of buying things we wouldn’t need normally (fidget toys, multiple screen protectors, branded foods)
if I allowed my child to spend it on what she likes she’d have a lot of robux and sweets. So for you it depends if he’s buying sensible things. Although dla isn’t awarded as fun money, it’s there to make both your lives more manageable and letting him use it as spending money isn’t doing that, it’s just spoiling him

rose69 · 04/10/2023 17:19

Giving. 12 year old that amount of money is not helping him or you. Spend it on the extra costs associated with his disability.

Lougle · 04/10/2023 17:18

DD1 gets pocket money and the rest is spent on anything she needs and household bills. I can't work because she can't be left unattended, so it helps to reduce that deficit.

ShutTheDoorBabe · 04/10/2023 17:17

Spend it as you see fit. We save some for my ds, spend some on food and clothes etc and then he gets the rest.

owlsmummy · 04/10/2023 17:15

I don't think there is a right it wrong answer. You can spend it as you see fit and as it benefits your DS. We get HRC/LRM for autism and severe learning difficulties and it goes all into the household pot. I had to give up work recently and it enables us to keep paying the mortgage and put food on the table. Do whatever is right for you and your DS.