DLA Payments

DS's DLA just goes in to the general household budget. It goes some way to make up for the fact that I can only work certain hours (as childcare for a teenager with additional needs is non existent.) We've also purchased extra things to benefit him, such as sensory resources.

You are setting him up for a very difficult life. As an adult, he simply won’t have £700 a month to spend on whatever shit he wants. Allowing him that during childhood is going to give him a very skewed outlook on life. Even kids with additional needs should learn what they can about real life, as much as they can understand.
There might not be a “wrong” way to do it but sorry, yours is very wrong. And really needs to stop.
That money is to cover the extra expenses his needs create, so you should be using it for his food and extra clothing etc. He can have £50/100 a month himself if you really want.

It's up to you, so I won't say your doing it 'wrong', but I wouldn't be letting DS spend it all on toys. My DS's just goes into the main pot,

some covers the shortfall of me having to reduce work hours.

Some of it covers his more expensive fussy eating or thing he brakes and need replacing more often.

Some of it covers fun stuff, like outings or means that he can get a toy from the giftshop or icecream when we go out

Some covers the extra petrol/ car costs of having to drive short distances that others would walk

We are in the process of applying. My son has complex needs so we are hoping for at least middle rate, if not higher as he needs night care. He eats and stains his clothes, needs chewlery and we have spent money on an ipad for a communication app and got him a new SN buggy recently. Spent close to the grand in a few months, so it will go to replacing that.

We are probably just going to save most of it if we can for emergencies or to help him in the future. If I have to give up work it will go towards that,(although it will nowhere near covered my salary, so i hope not) but for now it's just things he needs and saving, or for outings when he can manage them.

My son is at the severe end of the spectrum and he would probably just try to eat the money rather than spend it as he has no concept of what it is.

My son gets DLA.

I use it on holidays, days out for him and I save it.

I cover all his day to day needs.

I'm currently spending my child's DLA on childcare, therapy, and enrichment activities. I wouldn't give the money direct to him, but rather use it to make his life better in ways he isn't old enough to access or understand for himself. Therapy is one million percent better for him than what he'd want to spend it on - sweets and toys.

So your child is spending hundreds of pounds a month on toys whilst you struggle to pay for his basics?

Yes op, I'd say you're doing it wrong. There isn't a set right way but I'm any house where you're struggling to make ends meet and someone is spending hundreds on toys they don't need, isn't doing it right.

I understand you're trying to make his life "nice" but you aren't doing him any favours long term.

Use them money for the specialist stuff he needs, the clothes and food etc. It's there impart to cover those extra costs. Pay for treatments or therapies or hobbies that enhance his life. If you need to use some of it to pay the rent and electricity, that's also fine. If there's money for him to use as pocket money that's great.

I'm at least hoping he's an only child?

I think it must be a wind up ?

To qualify for high rate care you need to meet the middle rate criteria plus need so much care during the night as well. My son gets high rate care as he wakes during the night (for several hours) and is not safe to be left unsupervised.

That's ridiculous. No he shouldn't be using it for pocket money. You should be using it to cover the extra household expenses like his particular foods and extra clothing. I've never given my son any of his DLA because it goes into the household expenses, and in part makes up for some loss of my earnings.

Can you imagine what it would be like for the other children in our family if I did what you did? Oh sorry everyone, but we don't have enough money for (presents, holidays, dinner) because our family only brings in one wage. Oh but your brother gets nearly £700 to spend how he wants. 🙄

No I do not think it is right for your child to spend £690 a month money on toys, and its quite frankly inflammatory to post this.

However it is wrong for posters to speculate whether your child is given the correct DLA rate without knowing ALL his medical conditions, which is private to him

I receive DLA for two of my children, and both payments go into the family pot towards food, clothes, bills, entertainment etc. Giving a child hundreds of pounds a month to spend on whatever they like isn’t going to benefit them in the long run, as it doesn’t teach them the value of money or how to budget for essentials. Surely £10 a week pocket money is more realistic?!

This. That is crazy. The money is there for the additional costs of having a disability, which it doesn't cover at the moment because it is given to a child who blows it on stuff

Unless the OP has left a lot of information out of her post, I don't how this could be true?

Higher rate mobility is for children who cannot walk, can only walk a short distance without severe discomfort, could become very ill if they try to walk or they’re blind or severely sight impaired

My son gets highest rates of both components. He isn't in wheelchair. He can walk, he is unsafe walking. He opens the car door and falls into the carpark. It's for SLD. Very basically legs work, brain not so much.

I was also confused by this. Surprised by the higher rate care component too.

My kids dla mostly goes on private assessments, private tutoring ( illiterate) and everything associated with night wetting and general getting filthy rolling around on the floor.

I thought this. Higher rate mobility is for unable to walk or virtually unable to walk. Even under SMI rules I don't see how it would be possible. If you have the capacity to do lego and computer games how could you qualify.

Er, that's bonkers. My child gets higher rate of both and it buys incontinence products, goes towards the huge costs of trying to keep her warm in winter, food for her special diet and on travel to hospital appointments. I save a little each month to go towards her next wheelchair. Spending it on Lego and computer games is unimaginable to me.

I'm not sure I buy this. How does your son meet the eligibility criteria for higher rate mobility DLA?

The higher rate mobility component can be paid to a child from the age of three years. It is for children who are unable, or virtually unable to walk, or where the exertion required to walk would constitute a danger to their life or would be likely to lead to a serious deterioration in their health.

I have never given any of my son's DLA to him to spend on fun stuff.

Bonkers. £20 per week is way more than enough as pocket money. dLA is meant to supplement the costs associated with a disability, so spending on his restricted and expensive diet is exactly what it's for.

This has got to be a wind up surely? You GIVE HIM £690 a month to waste? If you kept £190 for his living costs and saved the rest that is £6000 a year. By the time he is 18 that's £36,000

THIRTY SIX THOUSAND POUNDS. A house deposit.

£690!! No way would I give this.

My son is young but I definitely wouldn't give him £272 a month to spend on toys that seems vast to me. I would keep most of it and give pocket money of £10-15 per week.