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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This mum just blocked my toddler from approaching hers

413 replies

Skysky1 · 04/10/2023 14:17

was in town today walking through M&S , with my 3 yr old.
We had just bought toys in the previous shop so he was out of pram and walking with his new toys in his hands and was excited about them.
Walking parallel to us was also a mum with toddler (around two)
My son approached him from the side and started walking directly next to him showing him his toys whilst they were both walking , the child smiled in response and didn't appear to seem at unease, however the mum swiftly stopped and put her arm out in front of my son blocked him between her arm and a Column so that he couldn't go any further and then she said ' excuse me ' as if for him to back away.
He turned to face me and I swooped him up and said ' he's only a toddler'
To which she didn't respond, she carried on walking and I changed direction.
I was left feeling quite sad for my son
I just wanted other mum's opinions on this . Was I in the wrong for letting my child approach hers , I guess everyone is entitled to their personal space. However I never anticipated that reaction it just seemed like a mean thing to do , and I'm always very welcoming to other kids that approach us

OP posts:
Newphony · 04/10/2023 17:11

It is a learning curve. One I also learnt from my first born. Not all mothers are nice to all children. It is hard to accept but sadly very true. You will experience more of this!

inamarina · 04/10/2023 17:10

EaudeJavel · 04/10/2023 16:49

How do children learn to interact with others (other children), if they’re always micromanaged?

by teaching them to respect people's personal space and not invade stranger's peace and quiet? Just like that I would say...

But it wasn’t even about the other toddler’s personal space, but their mum’s.

EaudeJavel · 04/10/2023 17:08

margotrose · 04/10/2023 17:05

Of course that's what they should be taught Confused

Do you go up to people in the street and show them your stuff uninvited?

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I now have a vision of some posters actually showing their "stuff" to start a conversation at the bus stop 😂😂😂

dgf · 04/10/2023 17:07

I'v done similar in the past but hurried my child forwards rather than putting my arm out to the other child. It was because the other child was taunting mine with the toys and I didn't want my child getting upset.

It's almost certainly nothing personal.

EaudeJavel · 04/10/2023 17:06

jays · 04/10/2023 17:03

You want to teach a 3 year old to respect a strangers peace and quiet in a shop? Do you hear you? He was just wanting. to show his wee toy to a fellow child! Ffs! Sometimes I honestly wonder about at least 70% of the folk on here what what’s going on. This isn’t normal advice! Who are you all coming out with this craziness! I honestly don’t trust this place anymore.

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huh? Of course you teach your 3 year old acceptable behaviour IN A SHOP. You also teach him not to grab food, not to help himself to pack of snacks, not to run around.

Good grief HOW did you parent your children if the concept of teaching them to behave is so shocking for you?

cestlavielife · 04/10/2023 17:06

And if other toddler had snatched your child 's toy and slobbered on it or broken it what would you have done ? Do not ancourage your child to show off his toys on street they will get snatched/dirty/broken ...

margotrose · 04/10/2023 17:05

jays · 04/10/2023 17:03

You want to teach a 3 year old to respect a strangers peace and quiet in a shop? Do you hear you? He was just wanting. to show his wee toy to a fellow child! Ffs! Sometimes I honestly wonder about at least 70% of the folk on here what what’s going on. This isn’t normal advice! Who are you all coming out with this craziness! I honestly don’t trust this place anymore.

Show quote history

Of course that's what they should be taught Confused

Do you go up to people in the street and show them your stuff uninvited?

truthhurts23 · 04/10/2023 17:05

is it possible that the child had a cold or vomiting bug or something? Maybe she didn’t want your kid catching it

FuckingHellAdele · 04/10/2023 17:05

Both kids, plus the other mum, will have probably forgotten about this non event completely, blissfully unaware that strangers are arguing about it on the internet.

margotrose · 04/10/2023 17:03

Mulhollandmagoo · 04/10/2023 16:59

Putting her arm out and blocking a toddler from walking is quite rude though.....

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The 3yo shouldn't have been approaching and getting in the way in the first place.

If you're going to allow your child to approach random people in public, you need to be prepared for them to be rebuffed and ignored. It's rude to allow them to just go up to strangers and interact.

jays · 04/10/2023 17:03

EaudeJavel · 04/10/2023 16:49

How do children learn to interact with others (other children), if they’re always micromanaged?

by teaching them to respect people's personal space and not invade stranger's peace and quiet? Just like that I would say...

You want to teach a 3 year old to respect a strangers peace and quiet in a shop? Do you hear you? He was just wanting. to show his wee toy to a fellow child! Ffs! Sometimes I honestly wonder about at least 70% of the folk on here what what’s going on. This isn’t normal advice! Who are you all coming out with this craziness! I honestly don’t trust this place anymore.

Illbebythesea · 04/10/2023 17:02

@CatamaranViper

I'd love to hear the other ladies'version of events.

I doubt OP and her child were as sweet as she is making out

Totally. I bet op was calling her all sorts of names behind her back and her child was intentionally taunting this child with his new shiny toy. Probably they were destitute and had wondered into M&S by mistaken from being so malnourished 🤣

partypant · 04/10/2023 17:01

@Skysky1 She could had have easily accidentally struck him with how quick she was to do it to. As he was still moving , her arm was close to his face.

You are being ridiculous

Frabbits · 04/10/2023 17:01

Mulhollandmagoo · 04/10/2023 16:59

Putting her arm out and blocking a toddler from walking is quite rude though.....

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Nah, it's not. If you don't want a random kid coming up to you, what else are you supposed to do?

inamarina · 04/10/2023 17:01

Mistressanne · 04/10/2023 15:38

It's like Little Britain with Catherine Tate on MN today.
Oh Annabel don't let that feral toddler touch you, run while Mummy blocks him.

😄

SouthLondonMum22 · 04/10/2023 17:01

You are right, everyone is entitled to personal space and for whatever reason, the mum wanted that personal space today.

No big deal.

EaudeJavel · 04/10/2023 17:01

inamarina · 04/10/2023 16:54

Don’t worry, where I live there seem to be lots of ‚bored, attention-starved‘ women (and men!) chatting to each other on the street, in the shops and on the bus.
Don’t they know shops are not for chatting? Apparently not, they seem quite happy though.

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do you live in a 50s soap opera ? 😂😂

EaudeJavel · 04/10/2023 16:59

CatamaranViper · 04/10/2023 16:56

I'd love to hear the other ladies'version of events.

I doubt OP and her child were as sweet as she is making out

I doubt the other lady will even know what you are talking about, it's such a non event, she'll have forgotten immediately 😂

Mulhollandmagoo · 04/10/2023 16:59

margotrose · 04/10/2023 16:40

Saying "Excuse me" and moving your child away isn't being rude.

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Putting her arm out and blocking a toddler from walking is quite rude though.....

Katypp · 04/10/2023 16:58

Skysky1 · 04/10/2023 16:57

If you were close enough to grab your child then you were also uncomfortably close behind the woman and she may have felt intimidated by you being so close and not speaking to her

Lol really... this is what your going with

Yes, I think that comment wins first prize

Original poster
Skysky1 · 04/10/2023 16:57

If you were close enough to grab your child then you were also uncomfortably close behind the woman and she may have felt intimidated by you being so close and not speaking to her

Lol really... this is what your going with

OP posts:
CatamaranViper · 04/10/2023 16:56

I'd love to hear the other ladies'version of events.

I doubt OP and her child were as sweet as she is making out

inamarina · 04/10/2023 16:54

CharlotteBog · 04/10/2023 16:44

Meh....this is getting ridiculous.
I'm not even the OP.
Apparently I am bored and lonely with all my talking to random people in public.

Don’t worry, where I live there seem to be lots of ‚bored, attention-starved‘ women (and men!) chatting to each other on the street, in the shops and on the bus.
Don’t they know shops are not for chatting? Apparently not, they seem quite happy though.

Katypp · 04/10/2023 16:54

Well, I think this threads must win the award for whataboutery and every excuse and reason under the sun to excuse what I would consider pretty rude and abrupt behaviour.
Today's children are going to grow up with no idea whatsoever of how to interact or communicate with anyone who isn't vetted and approved by their parents.
Does no-one chat or make small talk with strangers at the till, on the bus, in an entry queue or at the school gates anymore? This generation of children will have lost that skill and be suspicious of anyone and everyone. I despair for civilisation sometimes if some of the responses on this thread are anything to go by.

RunAwayTurnAwayRunAwayTurnAway · 04/10/2023 16:53

Mumsnet is a horrible toxic place where no-one seems to enjoy being around children!

OP, you'll obviously never know, but my instinct is she did not want her toddler to steal the toys and meltdown when they were taken off and returned to yours.

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