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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This mum just blocked my toddler from approaching hers

413 replies

Skysky1 · 04/10/2023 14:17

was in town today walking through M&S , with my 3 yr old.
We had just bought toys in the previous shop so he was out of pram and walking with his new toys in his hands and was excited about them.
Walking parallel to us was also a mum with toddler (around two)
My son approached him from the side and started walking directly next to him showing him his toys whilst they were both walking , the child smiled in response and didn't appear to seem at unease, however the mum swiftly stopped and put her arm out in front of my son blocked him between her arm and a Column so that he couldn't go any further and then she said ' excuse me ' as if for him to back away.
He turned to face me and I swooped him up and said ' he's only a toddler'
To which she didn't respond, she carried on walking and I changed direction.
I was left feeling quite sad for my son
I just wanted other mum's opinions on this . Was I in the wrong for letting my child approach hers , I guess everyone is entitled to their personal space. However I never anticipated that reaction it just seemed like a mean thing to do , and I'm always very welcoming to other kids that approach us

OP posts:
LemonLight · 04/10/2023 14:50

I think gently YABU to be honest. Out shopping isn't always the time to initiate an interaction with a stranger, some people don't want to be approached by someone they don't know and have every right to go about their business. You can't really expect every random stranger to want your kid hovering around because you think it's cute.

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 04/10/2023 14:49

Mariposista · 04/10/2023 14:48

I'd have been tempted to say 'got somewhere to be have you?' dripping with sarcasm.
obviously wouldn't have actually lowered myself to that level in front of the kiddies. What a twat. Your boy sounds lively and friendly.

And you'd have looked unhinged.

Mariposista · 04/10/2023 14:48

I'd have been tempted to say 'got somewhere to be have you?' dripping with sarcasm.
obviously wouldn't have actually lowered myself to that level in front of the kiddies. What a twat. Your boy sounds lively and friendly.

WongWifi · 04/10/2023 14:48

Just reading some of these responses saddens me. There’s nothing wrong with being polite.

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 04/10/2023 14:47

GalaApples · 04/10/2023 14:38

YANBU. She was rude, and whatever her reasons it would not have hurt her to briefly explain her reasons. It is so sad that many people are inconsiderate of other people's feelings, and just don't bother.

Like the OP expecting everyone to unconditionally want her kid mithering them?
Yeah, I get that.

lilyblue5 · 04/10/2023 14:47

Two reasons I would do this..

  1. child looks obviously sick
  2. My child is sick
margotrose · 04/10/2023 14:47

GalaApples · 04/10/2023 14:38

YANBU. She was rude, and whatever her reasons it would not have hurt her to briefly explain her reasons. It is so sad that many people are inconsiderate of other people's feelings, and just don't bother.

She doesn't owe a complete stranger an explanation for her behaviour.

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 04/10/2023 14:46

You have no idea why she didn't want her child to deal with your child's overtures.
Maybe she knew her child would thump yours
Maybe her child has Covid
Maybe your child looked like he was going to thump hers
Maybe it's the 10th child that's approached her today
Maybe she just didn't want to be stopping and talking toddler shit with another adult.

It's no big deal. Let it go. 🎵

EaudeJavel · 04/10/2023 14:45

GalaApples · 04/10/2023 14:38

YANBU. She was rude, and whatever her reasons it would not have hurt her to briefly explain her reasons. It is so sad that many people are inconsiderate of other people's feelings, and just don't bother.

😂😂😂

sodthesodoff · 04/10/2023 14:45

Can you really not see it from her point of view? For any of the above reasons

It's really not all about you

Gumbo · 04/10/2023 14:44

Her child has leprosy Sad. She doesn't want anyone to get too close in case they spot it (or catch it) and shes really embarrassed by the situation.

HTH

Shopper727 · 04/10/2023 14:41

If she was in that much of a rush her kid wouldn’t have been walking a smile and oh lucky boy and walking off with her kid a bit faster would’ve done she was weird about it
some people are just weird op

GalaApples · 04/10/2023 14:38

YANBU. She was rude, and whatever her reasons it would not have hurt her to briefly explain her reasons. It is so sad that many people are inconsiderate of other people's feelings, and just don't bother.

margotrose · 04/10/2023 14:38

Maybe she was in a rush.
Maybe she didn't want her toddler snatching the toy or having a tantrum because he wasn't allowed one.
Maybe she was in a bad mood.
Maybe she was tired.

It really doesn't matter.

Dizzydeers · 04/10/2023 14:36

Sounds like she couldn’t have been preempting a meltdown or just didn’t want her child to stop and play which is fair enough when out shopping.

InTheRainOnATrain · 04/10/2023 14:36

Not saying I’d do it but I do sort of get it. Your DC is showing off his new toys, fair enough he’s 3 and excited, but to her toddler it might be more like taunting, essentially look what I’ve got but no you can’t play with it because it’s mine and not yours. And it’s the supermarket not a playground so not like they can play together or anything, so I see why she might have been proactive in shutting it down and avoiding her kid grabbing and/or a tantrum.

Or her kid has an infectious disease, or a poor immune system, or she has poor mental health, or just hates other kids. God knows really. Don’t worry about it.

Sartre · 04/10/2023 14:35

Try not to take it personally. Maybe she knows her 2 year old is likely to try snatch one of the toys or maybe they were in a rush and she didn’t want her DC to be distracted. No idea, it probably isn’t personal though.

Strawberryfieldsforeverrr · 04/10/2023 14:35

One of my dc would have grabbed that toy, seeing it as an offer, and all hell would have broken loose trying to give it back.
She was busy shopping, not out looking for playmates for her dc.
You're really overthinking this. Just because you had time to dawdle through Marks today doesn't mean she did.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 04/10/2023 14:34

If your toddler showed mine a toy, mine would have snatched it and raised hell when he had to give it back. Which is something they have to learn, but in nursery or at home - not in M&S.

curaçao · 04/10/2023 14:34

or she didnt want her child whining for a toy.

Octobermeterreadtime · 04/10/2023 14:33

Sadly only you thinks your dc is a cute dc carrying toys... She just saw a delay in her getting to where she was going..

Original poster
Skysky1 · 04/10/2023 14:32

I can't even picture the situation and how she really blocked your 3 year old.
Either way it doesn't matter, she's allowed to continue on with her day without stopping to entertain your child.
I'm sure she had things to do.

In response to this , she could had continued walking my son was not blocking them. She stopped , turned around and blocked my son in

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 04/10/2023 14:31

You have no idea what's going on in that mum's life or what issues she dealing with today. You are taking this personally when it probably isn't. Let it go.

EaudeJavel · 04/10/2023 14:30

She could have poor mental health

why, because she wanted her personal space?

motleymop · 04/10/2023 14:30

My toddler always gets harassed when I take her to soft play and things - other children always make a beeline for her and are bothersome. Perhaps it's the same for hers and she's sick of it. Who knows.