This mum just blocked my toddler from approaching hers

I have to say these responses are a bit surprising…

yes, there are a whole host of reasons why the other mum might have acted in this way; anxiety, mental health, worried about her child’s behaviour.

however the most obvious doesn’t seem to here…

maybe she’s just rude? Nowt as queer as folk.

I’m a bit jaded by the attitude that we must all assume that everyone has a terrible back story/ND/introvert etc and that any rudeness is therefore excusable because we haven’t walked a mile in their shoes.

OP- you did nothing wrong. Neither did your child who behaved like a normal, happy toddler. The other woman’s behaviour says more about her than you. There are 101 ways you can politely avoid approaches from a toddler- this woman chose to be rude.

if your child continues with this sociable, open and friendly attitude, he’ll grow up to be a contented, sociable person who derives great pleasure from social interaction. He may even answer the door to unexpected callers!

But Pps are right when they say don’t give this headspace.

There are a 101 reasons to explain why she did this, you will never know!

Don’t take it personally, just forget it and get on with your day.

Wow. Really?

Maybe she actually did! Like a GP/midwife/dentist/school appointment?

Or maybe she just knew an older child carrying a toy would be too much for her 2 year old to handle not having one himself.

A 3 year old is not a toddler by the way, @Skysky1

Blimey, some of the replies here are savage. She sounded downright rude, all she needed to do was politely say why she didn't want your DC near hers.

Sadly, it seems like politeness is out of reach for a lot of people.

Just a thought but perhaps her toddler is unwell and can’t mix with others their age?

Like the OP is bashing the other mother?

Life is a lot easier when you accept that you aren't the centre of the universe and 99% of what people do is about what is going on in their life and none of your business.

I have seen my friends with an immuno-compromised child (post chemo) do similar. Having to repeatedly explain to strangers must be draining. It would be better if people didn't assume they were owed an explanation for everything that other people do, particularly when it has barely any objective impact on your day.

Maybe her little one is a grabber, pusher or a bitter. Maybe he had D&V or Covid. Maybe she knew he'd kick off if he realised your DC had a toy. Maybe she was in a rush. You shouldn't take it too personally.

YANBU OP, she was rude. Whatever her (supposed excuses reasons people want to make up for her here.) His a 3 year old little boy being friendly and sociable, it’s very sweet. If people are too grumpy to realise that then I’d judge them hard too. Bunch of miserable gits on this thread!

Could be anything, but I would do that if my child was maybe unwell. Last week my little girl was off school with a stomach upset, I had to take her with me to run an errand and just tried my best to keep her away from people. An old lady was making a fuss of her and I just kind of smiled and pulled her away. This boy may have had chicken pox, a virus, anything. I wouldn’t give it another thought.

When my youngest was a toddler, I'm sure there were occasions where I looked like a helicopter parent. The reality was that I knew my happy smiling chubster had the reflexes of a striking cobra, and could scratch another child's face in milliseconds!

He's fine now.

This interaction doesn’t need a second thought, never mind a MN thread.

I would never have let my toddler brandish their new toys in front of another toddler anyway. It feels kind of mean if you are not intent on sharing, as they don’t really understand.

The clutching is gold standard

I think the other mum was a bit curt in the way she made her boundaries known, but not wrong about wanting to move on without your DC distracting her DC. There are all sorts of situations I can think of where it wouldn’t be welcome.

But I also don’t think it’s wrong of you to have let your DC approach. And it’s a great skill to have - the confidence to approach people. You just have to realise that if you do that, some of the time you’re going to get knocked back.

So when that happens, be breezy with DC about it, point out that the person knocking you back just wants different things ant the moment and that’s okay. And get on with your day. Sometimes it will be obvious in advance that an approach wouldn’t be welcome and helping your DC spot that is also an important skill to develop.

Many reasons I've kept my toddler away from other ones:

Befriending a strange kid is pointless. It wastes time on the shopping trip, you will never see them again, you get forced into awkward small talk and that kid could be full of germs.

My kid has a virus I know could be contagious and I don't want them infecting others. This has already been the case with covid, HFW, rotavirus, slapped cheek and post chicken-pox vaccine rash.

If the other kid has a toy, I don't want to get roped into an argument because she wants the same.

I have a virus I know could be contagious so I don't want to get friendly with any strangers and their kids. Was the case with covid.

I need the loo or in a rush or just not in the mood to walk two toddlers play with each other in the shop

Maybe her child hits others and she didn’t want to risk it? My 3 yr old has adhd and learning delays(diagnosed)and I have to be hyper vigilant around other kids especially those smaller than him, 9 times out of ten he will give them a whack or push them over without any warning.

It's still really unclear how she did this from your description.

Your child was walking next to her child. She then somehow went in front of both, in order to block your child only, between her arm and a column?

What?

@Toastiesforever If another toddler stopped to talk to my toddler id be chuffed to bits, and really how rushed can you be in that situation because let me tell you with a toddler your getting nowhere fast.

Do you really think once you have a child you can't have anywhere to be or any timings to keep to?? Not everyone with a toddler is mooching around a shop trying to fill their day.

You're being precious OP.

OK, perhaps she didn't react perfectly when put on the spot but really it's a non-issue. There have been a myriad of legitimate reasons already mentioned why she may have not wanted your child approaching hers.

The fact that you say you're sad about it and have posted on here when in reality this is no big deal suggests to me that you're really overthinking this. She clearly had something going on, she didn't want an approach, it's about her and not a slight on your child.

Just this. Could have been any number of reasons that were to do with her and her child not personal against yours. The poster wondering why she couldn't give a smile and scurry off, eh ?

"Swooped him up" is a bit dramatic OP.

As PP have said, it's unusual but there is likely to be a reason you will never know about. Forget it and move on.

Oh and "he was excited" immediately makes me think this means he was waving them about annoyingly, but that's probably just me 😂

This. And so many reasons. Don't give it another thought.

I wouldn't just let my kid wander up to a stranger in a shop. At a playpark or soft play it's a bit different, but not in a shop so that was rude from the get go.

The woman doesn't owe OP an explanation either. Maybe 9 times out of 10 she'd be nicer to the kid, maybe not, but whatever.