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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

This mum just blocked my toddler from approaching hers

413 replies

Skysky1 · 04/10/2023 14:17

was in town today walking through M&S , with my 3 yr old.
We had just bought toys in the previous shop so he was out of pram and walking with his new toys in his hands and was excited about them.
Walking parallel to us was also a mum with toddler (around two)
My son approached him from the side and started walking directly next to him showing him his toys whilst they were both walking , the child smiled in response and didn't appear to seem at unease, however the mum swiftly stopped and put her arm out in front of my son blocked him between her arm and a Column so that he couldn't go any further and then she said ' excuse me ' as if for him to back away.
He turned to face me and I swooped him up and said ' he's only a toddler'
To which she didn't respond, she carried on walking and I changed direction.
I was left feeling quite sad for my son
I just wanted other mum's opinions on this . Was I in the wrong for letting my child approach hers , I guess everyone is entitled to their personal space. However I never anticipated that reaction it just seemed like a mean thing to do , and I'm always very welcoming to other kids that approach us

OP posts:
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Isabellivi · 06/04/2024 18:36

Everyone has something going on. It’s still discourteous

Maray1967 · 06/04/2024 08:50

PS it’s great that your child is friendly and confident with other children. I’d focus on that, and remember that he’ll not be damaged by this encounter.

Maray1967 · 06/04/2024 08:48

Hummingbird233 · 04/10/2023 14:24

Unfortunately I think it's one of those situations that you won't ever know what the issue was.

It could be that her son has been unwell and she's wary of catching things. She could have poor mental health - it really could be anything.

I'm sure your son won't be affected long term.

This. You need to have the grace to recognise that things might have happened to this child that makes her wary, or she’s worried about things that he might do.

He might have been hit by a child holding toys. Or he might tantrum if he can’t take the toys himself. Yes, it might have been pleasanter if she’d said something to explain, but you don’t know what her situation is.

supertatos · 06/04/2024 08:44

You have no idea what was going on for her

Isabellivi · 06/04/2024 08:42

It was very odd behavior and rude. Reading the comments makes me realize this is the WORST place to get advice. I don’t know if the women on here are all anti social or what but while the woman has her reasons the most obvious is she lacks basic social skills. No we don’t owe people courtesy like a greeting in public but those of us with class do it because it is polite. Don’t let it bother you and never ask these mums for advice.

PeopleWhatABunchOfBastards · 04/04/2024 20:42

Zombie oh oh.

GIF by MTV-Italia
TiredBusyHappy · 04/04/2024 19:56

My toddler has severe allergies. I block other people's children all the time, especially if they look at all sticky, because it's not worth the risk to my son. Point is, you have no clue what her child's needs are and I'm sure it wasn't personal.

Savoyafternoon · 04/04/2024 17:05

ZOMBIE

CarrotCake01 · 04/04/2024 16:40

You know when some people are just looking for a reason to be offended...?

I don't really think it sounds like it was an issue tbh OP. Without us being there, we dont know why she did what she did but from your description it doesn't sound like it was particularly rude or malicious.

Edit: just realised the date on this thread 🤦🏼‍♀️ sorrryyy

CatamaranViper · 04/04/2024 16:35

Does this quality for a Zombie thread? I'm sure OP is over this incident now since it happened 6 months ago

RobertaFirmino · 04/04/2024 15:49

This isn't about your DC. It's about hers. Why bother giving it another thought?

Rosieroo20 · 04/04/2024 15:38

Katypp · 05/10/2023 12:17

Maybe so, it is is genuinely alarming to see how much rude behaviour is regarded as perfectly normal and acceptable on this thread. What on earth is happening to us?
In the past, people welcomed conversation and interaction with others. Nowadays, we don't need it because we come on sites like this and social media to get our interaction so we don't 'need' to speak to real people and the fact that most on here don't seem to have a problem with a woman blocking a THREE-YEAR-OLD from taking to her child speaks volumes.
Ban or control all interaction outside the home, don't answer the door, ban visitors until baby is XX weeks old, go no contact with people over the slightest issues - then go back on social media to whine that you've got no-one to help out/babysit. Does anyone else think we are going mad?

Absolutely

BarbaraWoodlouse1 · 04/04/2024 08:41

I can see why that would be deflating for you but she was in M&S & probably had a lot on. Some days you don’t have time for other people. We never know what others have going on.

Ukrainebaby23 · 10/10/2023 06:39

My 14m loves other children but is learning most parents don't want him to mx with their children because people do this all the time.
It's very sad to see his crestfallen little face when another parent turns their child around so they can't meet.

I'm sure some have valid reasons but actually I think it's mainly parent preference and its sad. Dh who is also very chatty to everone even commented how rude lots of young parents are. Even on the park people don't want kids to interact.

Sunnydays60 · 07/10/2023 12:53

@BBQchickensalad

I agree. A lot of the replies I was reading at the time seemed to be reprimanding the mum for even allowing it to happen in the first place.

rainbowstardrops · 07/10/2023 10:03

Who knows why she felt the need to stop your child interacting with hers because there are a myriad of possible scenarios, including she's maybe just rude.
I think it's quite strange that you seem to think it's such a big deal though. I'd have forgotten it by the time I'd left the shop!

SparkleFromWithin · 07/10/2023 09:32

I think the arm out was possibly her hiding the toy from her own child's view - I've done similar in the past ! The new toy would have absolutely caused a meltdown or whiney unhappy child to tow around town. Not fun in any scenario.

MichelleScarn · 07/10/2023 09:21

DarkwingDuk · 07/10/2023 09:10

You’re 100% being unreasonable here.

You were not in control of your child, 2 metres is too far, and nobody - and I mean literally nobody - is obligated to interact with your child in this scenario.

You’re also not helping by over egging it…she did not hit your child or even nearly hit your child, she set a gentle physical boundary, the “she could have hit him because he was still walking and she did it so quickly” was the part where it became clear that the issue here lies with you.

Yep! Somewhere, out there... this mum won't even have registered this interaction with you and DC!

AmIAutumnalNow · 07/10/2023 09:11

SistaPB · 06/10/2023 18:12

Reading some of the posts on MN, I really do feel like there is a real growing culture of rudeness.
Is it really that hard to utter a few words such as “sorry we’re a bit tired” or “sorry we’re in a huge rush” rather than just wordlessly sticking your arm in a child’s face.
I agree OP that it was quite rude.

Why would she be sorry though?

DarkwingDuk · 07/10/2023 09:10

You’re 100% being unreasonable here.

You were not in control of your child, 2 metres is too far, and nobody - and I mean literally nobody - is obligated to interact with your child in this scenario.

You’re also not helping by over egging it…she did not hit your child or even nearly hit your child, she set a gentle physical boundary, the “she could have hit him because he was still walking and she did it so quickly” was the part where it became clear that the issue here lies with you.

curaçao · 07/10/2023 01:12

A 3 year old is nor a toddler

MamaToABeautifulBoy · 06/10/2023 19:28

margotrose · 04/10/2023 15:08

She doesn't need to say or explain anything. She was just getting on with her day with her toddler!

Honestly, it surprises me that some people manage to get through the day if they're getting offended over such non-events.

Yet you seem v offended by my perfectly reasonable post 😂

AbiMum1 · 06/10/2023 19:18

Some peoples responses on here are just unnecessarily brutal. Absolutely fair enough if the mum did not have time for her child to be distracted by yours but she didn’t need to be so dramatic about it. She could have politely directed him away from your child. No need to respond to him like that. He’s just a kid, he doesn’t know any better.

SouthLondonMum22 · 06/10/2023 18:33

SistaPB · 06/10/2023 18:12

Reading some of the posts on MN, I really do feel like there is a real growing culture of rudeness.
Is it really that hard to utter a few words such as “sorry we’re a bit tired” or “sorry we’re in a huge rush” rather than just wordlessly sticking your arm in a child’s face.
I agree OP that it was quite rude.

I think it's rude to allow your child to bother a stranger when they are shopping or at least without accepting the fact that not everyone wants to be bothered by a random child for whatever reason. Not everything revolves around children and not everyone thinks other children are adorable.

OP herself said it happened very quickly, maybe the other mum just did what she felt was fastest to stop the child.

SistaPB · 06/10/2023 18:12

Reading some of the posts on MN, I really do feel like there is a real growing culture of rudeness.
Is it really that hard to utter a few words such as “sorry we’re a bit tired” or “sorry we’re in a huge rush” rather than just wordlessly sticking your arm in a child’s face.
I agree OP that it was quite rude.

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