Project from hell at work- AIBU to resign?

You work free hours? You do tasks without even being asked? You do tasks you have no clue how to do? (Not doubting that last part since I’ve seen plenty of consultants feign knowledge they don’t have and bill the client time for their learning and faffing about rather than admit the lack of experience.)

I’ve been both salaried and self-employed. Self-employed can carry some risk but also often comes with a freedom from a number of things including politics and deeper level of accountability. I took a salaried position to force myself to become part of a real team and to be more disciplined. It’s never easier to work in-house. It’s definitely less financially rewarding.

I don’t buy into the false us vs them mentality you seem to have Toward salaried employees, though I can certainly recall more jokes about consultants than I can about full-time employees.

Self employed carries the risks and rewards of running your own business.
As an employee there is sometimes zero advantage in being involved in projects as there is no long term career benefits.

I dont believe that you as a self employed person would accept a role for which you know are being under paid and over worked as a good career move for getting future quality work.

You have not said no. This was your chance to set the boundaries.

Yes well the extra money, plus the fact you can be let go with barely any notice, would make a contractor behave differently from a permie.

Actually OP I'm remembering an awful experience when I moved job a few years ago. DS was 10 so I wanted to progress and increase my hours, but still had to be careful as no family support. I was really clear at the interview asking about normal working hours and amount of travel and was assured it was standard 9-5 and travelling once a quarter.
Except I was put on a project that wasn't something I was trained in, involved traveling 2-3 days every week and was run by a different team in the organisation earning a heck of a lot more than me.
Being an idiot I soldiered on for a couple of months culminating in me getting bad feedback from the person in charge - and I've genuinely never had bad feedback before, so I'm pretty sure it wasn't me at fault there.
So you did the right thing flagging this to your manager.

@Finlesswonder I am far too much of a wuss to risk self employment, FWIW. And have no skills I could market, anyway

Some people need to keep their salaried job because they need the money, you know, for things like keeping a roof over their family's heads, or food on the table.

Some professions and jobs just cannot be done unless you have an employer. If you are experienced enough in such jobs, you can sometimes leave and become a self-employed consultant - or redundancy can force you down that route. Probably not viable in today's economic situation, though.

As a self employed person threads like these make me think....Wow Salaried employees really are wusses aren't they?

You're on the project, get it done, learn from it and move on

Something I can relate to so it felt timely seeing this one today, another team had tried to assign me a particular piece of work I don't have capacity for (there's a long history there going back to 2018 but I won't get into the whole thing), my line manager and his line manager have both said no to that, the other team have tried to bypass them and send loads of it to me anyway. I don't think they'll be happy about the fact that instead of just doing it, I took it to my line manager, who took it to his, and said there has been no agreement for this to pass to me. Sounds like you handled it the best way in raising it with your own manager in the first instance.

you may feel uncomfortable doing so, but you need to stand up for yourself. Are other people treated this way in the project or are you treated differently? If it were me being accused if not doing something I would have asked who had claimed to have done so. I would ask for a 1:1 and set out your case, with evidence of times, dates etc. To me, this sounds like either a form of bullying, or an incompetent covering their tracks and shifting blame

This

See, I am always surprised at people who stick at a job through thick and thin when they are obviously unhappy with the working environment, and it is obvious they could get paid more somewhere else. I mean, sure if you like it or you really need the flexible work offer - but it's almost impossible to get a big pay hike without moving jobs.

I used to switch jobs every 3 years or so earlier in my career. I didn't deliberately set out to do that, but after 2.5 years or so, I'd probably learned as much as I was going to and if there weren't any good progression opportunities, I started looking around.

How long is the project for?

I wouldn't quit over one project.

I would go back to the PM directly and explain why I hadn't done the task and ask for an updated list on what has been assigned to me to do with expected end dates. I would then go back to that email once digested and point out any I didn't know about and any that weren't doable with a more realistic time scale.

I'd also give my LM a heads up and expect them to have my back if there was nay push back.

Well done OP. It’s so hard to say no sometimes when the culture is to say yes. I always feel slightly guilty setting boundaries but work projects can be ridiculous in what they demand of people

Well done OP, that's a great result. And how great to have a line manager who supports you!

Sounds like the project manager has been under the cosh as well if they have actually apologised.

Great result, OP, well done. I'm glad the PM apologised to you too. A 'learning moment' for you all!

Well done OP. Good result.

Call your doctor. Call acas.
Look after yourself.

Go and do some exercise in your free time.
Definitely do not over work yourself when you're already feeling stretched. Bodies break.

Don't checky your emails after your working hours.
Just shut that laptop. If it helps put a timer on your phone so you do your hours. No more, no less.

From someone who's just been through a burnout. It absolutely sucks. Do not let work take over every ounce of your life with either doing it or the stress of doing it.
Look after yourself. Set your boundaries. It is so important.

If your work offers sick pay, that's good to note.

Definitely speak to acas. Ask for their advice. It's scary going in without knowing your rights.

I agree with you, it's not black and white.

Happy that things seem to have worked out well for OP, but sometimes there are circumstances where the best thing a person can do for their health and wellbeing is to leave.

Easy for people who haven't been through it to claim it's weakness or immaturity.

good for you!

Well done OP. This might also be a great opportunity for you to learn new things and progress in the future should you want to

I don’t need a medal thanks. I just need adults to behave as adults and actually make some effort to help themselves rather than quitting at the first sign of anything difficult!

Exactly what I mean! Moaning does sod all to help and quitting as the first form of defence is just madness.

at least bloody TRY!

@FishyTree well done for having that difficult conversation, so pleased about the outcome.

And you also missed my entire point, obviously

You cant complain about stress at work when you haven;t done the slightest thing to mitigate any stress. You can't quit every job the second it gets hard, without any effort at all to do anything about it.
The advice is to not quit, obviously.