To want to avoid soft play?

Totally understand where you’re coming from. We last took my daughter to a soft play centre in April and we all picked up the worst stomach bug (I actually ended up crapping in my own pants while visiting my mum and dads a couple of days later… never thought this would happen to me in my adult life). Had to dial 111 for DD because at one point, she was unresponsive and was so dehydrated! Absolutely vile.

We tend to opt for outdoor type play villages now. She has just as much if not more fun and I’ll continue this until she specifically asks to go to soft play. For me, it’s just not worth it when you spend 1-2 weeks following a visit either dealing with streams of snot, sick and/or shit.

We are regular soft play attenders and we are not ill after every visit. We have always mixed at lots of groups though so dd has a robust immune system. I would try to go to soft play, especially if you value the friendships.

16 months is a tricky age with mum friends, naps start getting erratic, people go back to work, kids get on the move and start trashing the house and the maternity leave bubble starts to pop. You also have the cold weather drawing in and park outings or outdoor outings are less attractive. Hosting playdates at home is great for a max of 3 kids when they get into toddlerhood. Getting to groups as a big group starts getting harder as work days clash and naps start shifting.

In our group the ones who went out regularly to different places are still in touch but the few who didn't or blew off with excuses lost touch after a few months. From the original maternity bubble of 12, I regularly playdate with 7 of the mums - some more frequently than others. The group outings of more than 4 stopped around 18 months as people lost touch. I picked up a couple of mum friends whose maternity leave bubbles popped at the local playgroup.

Soft play and play cafes are a great meetup venue as there is no hosting and there is enough space for everyone. Plus coffee and cake.

I hated it especially as I’ve worked in infection control but you can’t stop kids from playing. I avoided the awful pub type ones and only went to the reputable ones which always seemed cleaner. I always went early in the morning too as I did with swimming.

Ugh I'm with you OP. My nursery-going DS got ill from soft plays too. Some were worse offenders than others - I had no issue with saying I don't like soft plays and will meet them at the other times and places.

I have an untested theory that young kids need to get all these sniffles virusses once before they build up enough resistance. Every parent I know sooner or later complains about roughly a year where their kid catches every virus going. In my opinion it's best to get it out of the way before they go to school to prevent them from missing too much school.

His immune system is likely better now than when he was 9 months old. He's also being exposed to lots of bugs at nursery so he might be ok now

Why make excuses?
"I hate soft play! Can we meet at the park after?"

He's 16 months, he'll catch everything going and actually he needs to. Take him to soft play. Any activity place for kids will be a germ hive, it's all part of the fun.

Soft play centres ( most ) are a huge germ 🦠 🤢 cesspit…

I couldn’t think of anything worse to take my children to than one of those places so I never did.

They are now aged 12 and 9 and I can honestly say they’ve never missed out because I never took them to soft play 😂

I think that was bad luck and probably because he hadn’t had much exposure to germs at that age. Nursery is far worse than soft play and mine have been ill maybe once after 6 years of soft play. Take hand gel or wash hands before they eat

We usually go to soft play once a week. DS actually has a stomach bug now but that's probably from nursery.
Tbh once they are at nursery they will get sick anyway so I wouldn't deprive him of soft play for that reason.

YANBU Soft play is vile - but they love it.
take hand gel.

god speed. 👋🏼

DS gets really unwell every time he gets a simple cold, so I’m overly paranoid about places like soft play.

I work part time so I tend to take him during the day when it’s quieter so less likely to cross paths with other sick children.

My eldest DS never grew out of putting things in his mouth! 😂

I find soft play completely revolting but I still took mine. The things I found really really revolting were ball pits. I just felt there was likely vomit, spit snd pee mixing in there. Can't bear even thinking about it

Is it possible to go to softplay and not get ill?

No. It's literally impossible, every single child who attends softplay gets ill every single time. It's a miracle they're still in business really.

I understand your hesitance but equally they get sick all the time anyway because they are building their immunity to all the bugs and illnesses we all come across regularly. I wouldn't take ds if he's been under the weather recently but I think him getting sick is just a necessary evil part of his experience and development. He's going to nursery soon and he won't be exposed to anything in soft play that he wouldn't be exposed to in nursery. If you're worried I'd look into ways you can boost his immune system through diet etc to give yourself peace of mind.

As others have said it's no worse than a play cafe or toddler stay and play group in terms of cleanliness and germs.
It's unpleasant in other ways but as that doesn't seem to be your objection if the only reason you're avoiding it is germs I would go.

I find that from about this age kids seem to be Ill constantly from about October to April so it doesn't matter where they go. I just brace myself for it come autumn

But that will happen at nursery too. It seems such an odd overreaction to write off soft play when he's getting to the age where he where he starts to enjoy it. You've years ahead of you of soft play parties and playdates at such places writing it off when he's not even 2 is nonsensical.

But he'll be doing that at nursery too. Softplay is no more of an illness risk than nursery and it's something that he will probably really enjoy doing.

Your logic makes no sense here as he is weekly being exposed to dozens of delightfully germy little children, who will be carrying all the same bazillions of germs as the kids at softplay.

The only either of mine were really ill as toddlers was at a friends house. Never from soft play. A few bugs from nursery.

Unfortunately they can get ill anywhere. When they were 6&8 they caught Scarlet Fever on a plane...

We live for soft play- kept me sane and still does with my two. Can you go to the first session of the day so it’s clean?

Soft play is no worse or different to any other indoor toddler group activity. Im assuming it was a combination of the fact that your toddler didn’t go to nursery previously and a coincidence.
My toddler has been to soft play loads and although she generally has had all the normal toddler bugs I can say most of them have likely come from nursery or other social events, not soft play.

This a really bizarre rule to create and makes you sound overly anxious. Your DH is right, you’re depriving your DS due to your own issues.