To refuse to go this work event

Your employer has to make reasonable adjustments OP as your pregnancy is a protected characteristic of the Equality Act 2010.

I suggest you have a word with HR.

Most team events have a tea break/comfort break with snacks. I'd make the effort to go as your employer deems it to be important, but leave early if it becomes too much. You've been lucky to be allowed to work from home so much - are other employees allowed to do this?

Only you know how badly it will affect you.

If you're otherwise a good employee then I can't imagine it would go against you if you have to head early to avoid getting sick.

If it does go against you then I'm not sure there's any reasoning that can be done with them anyway so do whatever you feel comfortable with.

Go & throw up on them
then leave early

Do not go! People who have never had bad pregnancy sickness don't realise how bad it is. I used to get it worse in the evenings as well and once you've set off the vomiting, it can last all night and it's not ok to put yourself in that situation. Also the exhaustion at this point in my pregnancy was at its worse as well. The irony is when you don't look pregnant at 10 weeks you feel the worst but people have no sympathy and expect you to carry on like nothings changed, but then when your huge and feel fine later on people make loads of allowances for you that are welcome, but not as needed as they were when you were 10 weeks! Call in sick, have a day off, their fault for being unreasonable! Xx

What is the nature of the event? Is it internal/team building?

Put something in writing - as they know, you're pregnant and have been suffering from pregnancy nausea especially in the early evening. You'd like to be able to attend the event but wanted to warn them in case you become too unwell to work.
Take food and snacks.
Eat when you need to/in advance.
Play it by ear on the day. If you become too ill to work you're too ill to work.
Make sure nothing critical scheduled for the following day just in case and let them know this too.

I feel for you OP, I am also nearly 10wks and feel the same way. By bedtime I am a naueous and exhausted wreck. I would explain this to them clearly, and if you detect any reticence, offer to obtain a Drs note.

Hi @Clarabeans

Get yourself signed off. I've had two dreadful pregnancies, currently 30 weeks in to second and still throwing up most days. It's relentless. The only thing you should be doing is resting at home. Like you I only had relief going to bed so nothing would ever come in the way of that.

I hope you feel better soon x

As you finishing so late and dependent on picking transport, would they pay for a taxi? Would that help? But if speak to HR about what happens if you leave at usual work time

I would go and leave early.

Is it 'compulsory'? If so, why? Or is it 'expected'? So what would the ramifications be if you didn't?

I think you’re making a bit of a bigger deal than it needs to be. No one’s going to expect a pregnant woman to go without food if she needs it. I’d either go to the event and leave about 5pm or whenever I’m hungry, tell them that you need to leave as you need a meal or you’ll start to feel unwell. Or bring food with you and just leave when you’ve had enough. I get that pregnancy can feel awful but I think a bit of compromise is needed both ways, rather than you refusing to go to a compulsory part of your job because you’d like to be in bed by 7pm

Plan for it.
Pack some healthy snacks, attend the compulsory function and have some way of getting home that you can cope with.
Some one else drives or picks you up, you take an uber, you take an overnight bag and sleep in a Motel.
Make decisions to make it possible.

Of course it’s compulsory and I can’t get my head round someone saying they should count themselves lucky you front up at all to work.

if you’re too ill to attend then self certify and don’t. Alternatively go, take snacks, and if you don’t feel great explain you need to leave early and then do so.

They may want to see proof

It depends. Are you required to work additional hours in your contract? That’s effectively what they’re asking you to do.

It would be far less reasonable of them to ask if you’re not contracted to work outside regular hours on occasion, or they’re genuinely expecting a pregnant woman to go without food for 8 hours. You could ask them to specifically risk assess the event for you and see whether they backtrack…

I remember the extreme tiredness well, and I wouldn’t have fancied it either. But surely some compromise can be made where you attend for goodwill and leave if it makes you unwell. That way you’re showing willingness and also looking after yourself.

Literally why on earth should she do that? Jeez.

What would they do if you refused to attend this event I wonder ?

Take some food with you, take ginger tea, and a packet of ginger thins - I lived on them. I was commuting to central London daily so had to try everything, this works.

Can you go at lunchtime and leave before the end?

Rest in the morning
Bring food
Leave early if you aren't feeling well.

What does your contract say about your working hours? Unless there is anything requiring overtime or work outside of normal time just say you need to stick to your contracted hours, particularly as you are pregnant and are trying to manage the early symptoms without asking for any reasonable adjustments or taking time off.

I'd be sick. Possibly for a few days, and it sounds like this might not be entirely untrue. Bear in mind that pregnancy related sickness must be recorded seperately, and can not be used against you.

Tell them you'll need to leave at 4pm as otherwise you're likely to be sick. You might have to explain that "morning sickness" doesn't always happen in the morning. (I used to commute with someone who had bad nausea late afternoon - we had to leave very promptly to get her home before it started.)

Are you in UK? If so, they may fall foul of Equality Act 2010 if you are penalised for not attending due to pregnancy symptoms.

When you say "compulsory" do you mean it is a contracted part of your duties? Or that everyone is expected to attend?

I had to do a lot of travelling in my first trimester with DC1 and it was awful. Early mornings, late evenings. I had a bag full of snacks and slept as much as possible. But then I hadn't told work and didn't want to so just had to carry on. I'm not sure I would do it again and certainly wouldn't advise it.