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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Good solution or crazy idea?

35 replies

ppau · 30/09/2023 08:08

I want my dc to go to a local private school. (Please don’t turn the thread into a state v private debate!)

I had a very good job until recently when my mental health took a turn for the worst. Due to an awful turn of events DC’s father is not with us so we have no additional financial support.

I have minimal savings but my parents own four homes. They have said these will be passed on to me and my brother. Obviously things can change, I know that! But the plan is we would inherit two each. They are not massively high value, around 350k each.

I have 250k equity in my house which is valued at 500k. I’m 38. I am thinking of selling, taking out 100k and starting again somewhere smaller with 150k deposit… and I suppose hoping it all works out in the long run paying off somewhere again, due to inheritance.

I know 100k isn’t enough but I save 1,200 a month at the moment and dc is only 3 so I am hoping I can get a bit more ready before he is 5.

Is there anything I have missed here? Is this crazy or reasonable? I am not bothered much about material things and before anyone starts about private school being more than the fees, we are v v fortunate that dc has a lot spent on him by grandparents so he certainly won’t be going without all the new things… although I can’t say I will be bringing him up to value ‘stuff.’ I feel strongly about private school so please if you are giving advice (which I really welcome!), don’t tell me it’s not work it etc as it really is to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
ppau · 30/09/2023 08:58

@1willgetthere its only just enough though. And it’s stressful not having it in the bank if you see what I mean.

OP posts:
1willgetthere · 30/09/2023 08:57

I don't understand. If you are saving £1200 a month just use that?

Takeitonthechin · 30/09/2023 08:49

My comment isn't so much about which school you're intending to send your child to, but unless you and your brother have lived in said houses for more than a year and can prove it, you will be liable for capital gains tax.

Totaly · 30/09/2023 08:27

would leave it until you are at high school stage if you are keen on private. And saving 1200 per month for 7 years would give you 100k anyway which would mean you could fund the high school without the upheaval of moving

10% of 500K house price rise is worth far more than 10% of £200K.

I don’t think you should ask your parents. Even if they own 4 houses, they could all be mortgages anyway. LL are selling up and there’s too much risk now.

SootspriteSearcher · 30/09/2023 08:25

If you are looking to move with this plan, could you really research decent state schools for primary and move into that catchment area and save for private secondary education where it really will count.

Alternatively talk to your parents about having 1 house from your inheritance early, either selling it or renting it out to pay towards the school fees.

Ponoka7 · 30/09/2023 08:23

Wouldn't your parents help out now? I understand wanting to be able to pay for good care but inheritance is often better during the young children years, than when you are 50+. Personally I'd try to live somewhere with good state schools. Even if it means total relocation.

jiinglebells · 30/09/2023 08:19

Firstly I would totally ignore the potential houses from your parents - as you've said a lot can change and even having that in your mind as a future plan is going to sway things.

I wouldn't take 100k out of your house to buy somewhere smaller in the hopes inheritance will pay for it in the future, it's making huge decisions based on hoping it works out in the long run - what's your plan if it doesn't?

You've said you know it's not just about the fees and the grandparents buy a lot - but are you able to fund the sports kits, instruments, extra curricula activities, school trips etc? That can be £££ on top of the fees per year.

If you've had to change job role due to recent mental health changes, do you think you'd be able to manage the prospect of being potentially financially unstable? Honesty I don't think it's reasonable tbh, I can't see anything in your post apart from huge financial risks.

maddening · 30/09/2023 08:16

I would not pay for private primary school personalty, I would leave it until you are at high school stage if you are keen on private. And saving 1200 per month for 7 years would give you 100k anyway which would mean you could fund the high school without the upheaval of moving.

SherlocksDeerstalker · 30/09/2023 08:15

Totally not worth it for primary. Honestly don’t bother. Wait and send him for secondary when I definitely can be worth it, depending on the school. Unless there’s some sort of additional needs situation where smaller class sizes would be beneficial.

Totaly · 30/09/2023 08:12

Depends, when do you envision him starting private school?

if at 5 you would be spent in 6 years.

If you can afford it, I would continue paying down your mortgage - assets will increase in value, and use this as a saving leverage for when he’s 11