Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this neglect?

263 replies

Thanksforreading · 29/09/2023 18:19

So DD has been attending this nursery for well over a year and we have never had a problem till last night. She is 2 years old.

I picked her up from nursery as usual (Thursday 5.45pm), and run her bath, take off her clothes and get her to sit on her potty. Before she sits on her potty she touches her thigh and says “ouchie” and “help me” so I have a look and I notice a red mark on her inner thigh! (Photo one) I was a bit shocked, but told her it was okay, and decided not to give her a bath but just a quick shower down instead. She then tells me “itchy” she’s got very limited words, so when she tells me itchy I was a bit confused as well, still not too sure what to make of it but I dress her and email nursery about my concerns. (6.30pm)
Husband gets back, and he looks, sends over a very strong email to nursery. By 7.30pm her mark is looking 100% like a burn mark from friction and it’s weeping hard, we just clean it a bit and pop aloe Vera on it, DD is super upset with lots tears and telling us “pain”
We have woken up to (photo 2) this morning to darken area of the weeping area. Nursery has replied this morning with an email saying they will investigate and give them day to get back to us.
No courtesy call nothing not even an apology or sorry to hear that this has happened, just they will investigate. Nursery closes at 6 pm.
I’ve managed to book our DD in with the doctors and they have confirmed with a written document, confirming it is a friction burn. I’ve given them till 530Pm and have tried calling them three times and no one has picked up and the voice message box is also full. I feel like my daughter has been at the hands of neglect now, and it is now a Friday evening, so this will be left till Monday morning at least. Am I being unreasonable or am I just asking for too much? This is a private nursery and we pay £94 a day for childcare.

OP posts:
Justontherightsideofnormal · 29/09/2023 20:06

My first instinct is an overly wet nappy being left hanging down and rubbing. What did your dc have on her bottom half at nursery ?xx

Youngmumss · 29/09/2023 20:06

But I can’t also work out the pics. The first pic it defo looks like rubbed from the nappy, but not sure about photo 2 as it looks totally different place..

Original poster
Thanksforreading · 29/09/2023 20:05

Zanatdy · 29/09/2023 19:46

Ouch that looks sore. Do they ride trikes? I wonder if caused playing outside. Accidents do happen and if they spotted her crying (not unusual to happen multiple times a day with kids that age) they wouldn’t spot that injury if she’s got leggings etc on. You might not get an explanation, but I can’t see how it could be neglect as such, or a deliberate injury. Not great they didn’t spot it happen, but a room full of kids it’s not always possible to see everything happen and given she wasn’t wearing shorts etc I’d imagine or pointed to the area or told them, then reasonable they might not have noticed.

Thank you so much I actually really love your reply because that could be a possibility. They do have things to ride at nursery and if nursery had said that to me I would’ve been happy with the answer. I just hope they reply on Monday so I don’t go crazy wondering

OP posts:
Fallingthroughclouds · 29/09/2023 20:05

I think incidents can happen even when being pretty diligent. This isn't an accident where she fell off something or suddenly yelped out in pain. Something has been rubbing against her. Therefore it's not completely unreasonable that nursery didn't notice, especially if it happened late on in the day. If the person who picked up the email has no day to day contact, then they need to investigate before making an informed comment. They have given you a timescale for response. If they don't ring you or have a face to face discussion after the 24hrs then I would be concerned. Sounds like something at home may have irritated this further.

BlueBlubbaWhale · 29/09/2023 20:05

I think left in a wet nappy that's leaked on that side and rubbed

JANEY205 · 29/09/2023 20:05

Ouch ouch ouch!! The photo made me wince! I’m so sorry OP and I hope she feels better fast.

I would pull my child IMMEDIATELY based on their response/lack of. I worked in nurseries and would have been devastated if any of the children got hurt, but honestly you’d have known about it by collection time if anything happened as they were never left unsupervised and I’d have seen the mark during changes?

This is NOT OK. Please pull her.

Youngmumss · 29/09/2023 20:04

This is shocking.

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 29/09/2023 20:03

CurlyhairedAssassin · 29/09/2023 20:03

Photo two is of a right leg

Oh!

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 29/09/2023 20:03

So the go is saying it's without doubt a 'friction burn'

CurlyhairedAssassin · 29/09/2023 20:03

Photo two is of a right leg

KidsDr · 29/09/2023 20:02

If that spreads/extends by the time you check in the morning, consider infection. Staphylococcus (a bacteria) can cause skin infection that mimics a burn and gets bigger quite rapidly over a course of hours to days.

Original poster
Thanksforreading · 29/09/2023 20:00

CurlyhairedAssassin · 29/09/2023 19:58

The angles of the leg in both photos make it look like it's not the same area of leg at all?

It’s her left inner thigh, just her leg was angled higher in one photo than the other

OP posts:
Somethingweirdisgoingon · 29/09/2023 19:59

@BIossomtoes I really don't want to give you the time of day considering your tone, but I can tell you what happened in my situation...

I picked her up from nursery, GP was closed as it was near 6pm. Phoned out of hours, she sent me a link to upload photos so OOH doctor could see, which I did. She called back immediately, said bring her in, gave her antibiotics and wrote a short letter saying she has been seen, what she observed and how she believed it may of happened.

I'm in no way connected to the op, but as someone who went through similar, I find your tone nasty and uncalled for. Find a better GP and get something for your bitterness maybe.

Original poster
Thanksforreading · 29/09/2023 19:59

nokidshere · 29/09/2023 19:56

I would say it's friction from having a wet and heavy nappy on for too long. Poor thing it looks really sore, hope it heals quickly. Definitely speak in more detail to nursery.

This could be the case, when I took off her nursery nappy when we got home to get her ready for her bath, that nappy was completely fresh.

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 29/09/2023 19:58

The angles of the leg in both photos make it look like it's not the same area of leg at all?

Original poster
Thanksforreading · 29/09/2023 19:58

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 29/09/2023 19:53

Have to also wonder at a gp letter

Is this standard. Who is it addressed to? Did they charge for it?

It was a NHS GP letter. We got sent a pdf copy by our GP, we did not pay or have to pay for it.
It’s to support and confirm what she’s got on her inner thigh by a professional, and so it’s not like we have guessed what she’s got.

OP posts:
nokidshere · 29/09/2023 19:56

I would say it's friction from having a wet and heavy nappy on for too long. Poor thing it looks really sore, hope it heals quickly. Definitely speak in more detail to nursery.

Hibye23289 · 29/09/2023 19:56

I know she is only 2 but have you asked her what happened? Can you openly ask her without influencing her answer

SmileyClare · 29/09/2023 19:55

Did your gp prescribe anything for the assumed friction burn or advise treatment?

Keep clean and dry and use an Antibiotic cream (Available OTC or in prescription) to prevent infection.

It could be a bacterial infection not a burn so I would go back to the doctor if it doesn’t improve in a couple of days.

Totalwasteofpaper · 29/09/2023 19:55

Somethingweirdisgoingon · 29/09/2023 19:37

@Thanksforreading this EXACT thing happened to me, I actually posted on here last month. Basically they left her in a soiled nappy for hours.

She needed antibiotics in the end. Nursery were awful about it. Long story short, pulled her out of nursery with no notice, my solicitor has contacted their insurance company to start proceedings (not being grabby before anyone jumps on me, it's money held for my daughter by the court until she's 18) police informed (as social services themselves told me to, it's neglect and an abusive act. Social services have also investigated and inspected the nursery.

I know this sounds a bit OTT, but it was totally avoidable and they needed to be taught a lesson. I'd not have been as wildly angry had they not played the whole thing down and denied everything until I was able to prove it all. Make sure you go to the doctors and call social services, keep records of everything

I remember your thread and was reminded of it when I read this.
I am so glad you are taking legal action. It was 💯 the right thing to do. what they allowed to happen to your DD was horrific, I remember the pics. I hope she is better now and that money goes towards something totally awesome for her when she is older.

OP - my yard stick is "could this have happened when I was looking after my child" this fails that test. There is no way that kind of thing would happen to my DD on my watch... or on yours I'm sure.

This is 100% unacceptable and neglect.
I'd be pursuing this HARD and to its fullest extent for two reasons

  1. This should have never happened to your child.
  1. Left unchecked who knows how bad the next incident like this will be for some other poor child...
BIossomtoes · 29/09/2023 19:55

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 29/09/2023 19:53

Have to also wonder at a gp letter

Is this standard. Who is it addressed to? Did they charge for it?

Frankly, I’m stunned. I want to move to the place where you can get a GP appointment for something like this.

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 29/09/2023 19:53

Have to also wonder at a gp letter

Is this standard. Who is it addressed to? Did they charge for it?

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 29/09/2023 19:52

Kid was wearing tracksuit bottoms.....would a nappy 'dangle' that low in trousers?

Also....loose buggy straps can still run as she moved/slid around

I don't think that aloe Vera actually helped op!

Sunshinenrain · 29/09/2023 19:52

I went to the doctors about my DD (can’t remember what it was for) but he said that kids sometimes say things are itchy when they’re painful.

Although if I get a cut it something, sometimes it does feel a bit itchy too.

Coulditreallybe · 29/09/2023 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

goady so and so. What an unpleasant little thing you are.