Debts-his or ours?

Whilst this is aim whilst he's waiting for this job, he needs to be applying for jobs at the lower paid end of the market to get some money coming and service his debts.

You're very very unlikely to be liable, usually someone can't be unless they've signed an agreement or made a verbal agreement for the debt/credit card etc. Marriage doesn't change that. If you could be seen to have benefitted from the debt and it was paid into and repayments made from a joint account there might be an argument but this would need court to decide. If the debt was an overdraft on a joint account or redraw on a joint mortgage they could then come after you too. If he has illegally signed documents on your behalf then you'd have to report the fraud or be held liable. If you were to divorce a judge could decide these debts are joint marital debts. The law during marriage and during divorce treat debts and assets in different ways. Equally you wouldn't have any claim on assets solely in his name and vise versa while married.

If you have joint accounts/mortgage his debt will effect your credit score. I would want to check he hasn't added your name to anything. Don't sign anything acknowledging the debts or taking responsibility for them at all. I don't know what effect it will have if you refuse to provide your financial information. If you can it might be worth speaking to the charity by yourself to work out what's going on and what options and if disclosure is worthwhile. Your DH may have to authorise this. You'd probably get more accurate advice on the money saving expert forum, lots about debt on their. CAB may also be useful.

I can't fathom why you aren't raging and considering divorcing him.

Him supporting you when you had babies is not the same as him leaving a job, getting fired from another and lying about it.

No, some incorrect replies on here.

Unless in joint names you are most definitely not responsible for his debts. The charity shouldn't have told you that.

However they can affect your credit history and will form part of any divorce settlement.

Has he looked at IT in the civil service? We find it hard to recruit because the pay is poor compared to the private sector but secure and decent pension, flexible hours etc.

It's not that he can't do an IVA, more that it's unlikely to be the best solution as it's intended to be an alternative to bankruptcy for homeowners.

They involve a lot of fees which makes it less likely to be accepted by creditors as they get less debt paid back.

If he's a candidate for an IVA as a non homeowner he might as well go bankrupt as he'll only have to pay towards it for 3 years not 5.

Has he considered applying with a US based company? Some allow people to work remotely within the UK. Alot of IT jobs are open to remote working anyway which would cut down on any travel costs. He probably just needs someone to look over his CV and give advice on updating it. I wouldn't be paying any of this debt though

With every comment he sounds worse. Get rid asap !

She said above that the money went on general living (probably) and that they had a good quality of life with animals and kids presumably well cared for. So is DH a feckless looser or was he trying to provide an unsustainable lifestyle? It sounds a bit like he’s been foolish but perhaps well intentioned. The unemployment bothers me though, in his situation he should be willing to do whatever it takes to contribute

That's not comparable. He may have "supported" you financially but you were also supporting him by looking after your joint children. The alternative would have been a full-time nanny paid by you both. In contrast, the current situation is on him and him alone - how did you benefit from him lying about his position? There may be mitigating mental health reasons but that would take couples therapy to unravel.

An IVA is inappropriate because you rent. He should look into a debt relief order or bankruptcy but also put proper effort into working. How old is he and what experience does he have?

My exh did this in his name and ran up about £80k in debt his debt advisors suggested that I help pay the debts off. The advisors was told where to go with that idea and I divorced dh.
He was always complaining about being broke but could easily finance his drink problem, funny that.
When Blockbusters went bust he brought up about 300 videos for £50, then during the divorce told my solicitor I had got rid of his video collection that he had built up over several years and I was expected to reimburse him for £2k. The cheeky shit had sent them to charity and apparently was laudded over for being so bloody generous - WTAF ? I contacted the charity and the manager wrote a note confirming for my solicitor. Ex got nowt of anything as we were married less than a year and the house was in my name.😛
Sorry OP got carried away, as you were with your cfer.👋

What? He had no intention of working again, are you seriously staying together?

I would get rid of him. He sounds like a loser.

Tell him to move out, get the tenancy moved into your name only. The debts are in his name, he is responsible. He has lied to you. He can pay the minimum from his benefits. You are paying for everything else anyway, it will be cheaper without paying for him too.

with a man like this.

Why would you want to stay?

You shouldn't be liable unless in both your names.

However he really needs to take some work any work to get paying off his debts.