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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this ok for a wedding?

110 replies

caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 12:47

I've bought a dress from Vinted. I don't want to share the exact dress as the photo is of the dress being worn by the seller and that seems unfair so I've googled and found a very similar one. The one I've bought has slightly more sage green and fewer white spaces.

Is this ok to wear as a wedding guest do you think? Is there too much white? I'd have no concerns wearing it to a wedding of a family member etc because my family are very casual about this stuff but I only know the groom at this wedding so no idea what the general consensus would be from the other guests.

Opinions appreciated. If it's not acceptable I've got a couple of christenings I could wear it to later this year so it's not a loss.

Is this ok for a wedding?
OP posts:
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BIossomtoes · 27/09/2023 16:53

MrsSkylerWhite · 27/09/2023 15:21

BIossomtoes
We’ve just been invited to a wedding where the dress code quite specifically says “No white, please”. The bride has now added “not even with a pattern”. So some brides care very much indeed!”

Blimey. Hard work.

Not really. She just knows what she wants. I’m buying a new frock anyway and it’s not difficult to avoid white. Especially in February.

HowcanIhelp123 · 27/09/2023 15:32

I usually go by 'if I have to ask, answer is usually no'. It's got colour to it. Maybe if you wore coloured accessories and jacket it would be fine, but it's borderline.

MrsSkylerWhite · 27/09/2023 15:21

BIossomtoes
We’ve just been invited to a wedding where the dress code quite specifically says “No white, please”. The bride has now added “not even with a pattern”. So some brides care very much indeed!”

Blimey. Hard work.

Anamechangeisnotjustforchristmas · 27/09/2023 02:17

It is SO NOT WHITE, wear it’s a lovely dress!

Original poster
caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 18:37

ActDottie · 26/09/2023 18:23

It’s a lovely dress but I wouldn’t. I know the one you have has less white so it depends but this one seems quite white.

I posted a picture of the actual dress a few minutes after the opening post if that changes anything. I think they're still very similar though.

OP posts:
rainbowunicorn · 26/09/2023 18:34

Purplecatshopaholic · 26/09/2023 15:20

Is it an English thing, this no-white rule? I have only been to weddings in Scotland - many over the years - and worn most colours at one point or other including things that were white/ivory/cream, also black many times. Never ever have I heard it’s an issue…

Nah, it's a mumnet thing. Along with all the other crazy batshittery that you get on here like not answering your door, not answering your phone, thinking tradesmen shouldn't dare ask to use the loo and a million other weird things.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 26/09/2023 18:32

It is noticeably a white dress. And if you don't know the bride well enough to be sure she's okay with it I think you should play it safe and wear something else. Personally if I were the bride I wouldn't care, but some would, and it's not worth becoming the woman who upsets a bride on her wedding day over it.

My sister rented a maternity evening gown for a wedding once. The company was called "does my tum look big in this".

ActDottie · 26/09/2023 18:23

It’s a lovely dress but I wouldn’t. I know the one you have has less white so it depends but this one seems quite white.

Original poster
caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 18:23

caringcarer · 26/09/2023 18:14

A nice dress but too white for a wedding. Do they do it in other colours?

It's second hand as I'm pregnant and didn't want to splurge on a dress in a size I'll only wear once, unfortunately.

OP posts:
RaininSummer · 26/09/2023 18:16

I don't see a white dress. It's lovely. Team Wear It here.

caringcarer · 26/09/2023 18:14

A nice dress but too white for a wedding. Do they do it in other colours?

DustSalad · 26/09/2023 18:12

From previous similar threads I have learned:

  1. the "no white" is not because you will be mistaken for the bride but so that the bride's dress stands out more in the photos
  2. brides wear white not to signify virginity per pp but because Queen Victoria did.
Original poster
caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 18:07

Positive41 · 26/09/2023 17:55

There are so many colours- why do people do this?

You wouldn't be asking if you didn't think it might not be appropriate. Find another colour fgs.

Passive aggressive but ok. I think it's appropriate, what worries me is whether other people think it's appropriate. Looking at the replies lots do and lots don't, hence why I asked. I was also shopping for second hand, in a particular size and flowy style so it's not like I had an entire department store to choose from.

OP posts:
mrssunshinexxx · 26/09/2023 18:06

Yes I'd wear it, it couldn't be further from a Wedding dress. It's really nice

Sunshineclouds11 · 26/09/2023 18:02

The actual dress you've posted is fine for a wedding!

MsFrost · 26/09/2023 18:01

Positive41 · 26/09/2023 17:55

There are so many colours- why do people do this?

You wouldn't be asking if you didn't think it might not be appropriate. Find another colour fgs.

I think it would be so petty for anyone to be upset about this. OP is hardly going to be mistaken for the bride (which is the whole reason for not wearing white). This dress is not bridal at all.

No one I know would care at all, but I'd appreciate some people in some circles might care... so I think it's a fair question to ask for opinions online. Only OP can really make a judgement about whether she thinks this particular bride is likely to care.

Positive41 · 26/09/2023 17:55

There are so many colours- why do people do this?

You wouldn't be asking if you didn't think it might not be appropriate. Find another colour fgs.

MsFrost · 26/09/2023 17:55

caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 17:52

I've never met the bride, or her family/friends so Mumsnet was the next best thing haha

Show quote history

Fair enough. I think in that case I'd put on a colourful necklace/ shoes/ hair accessory/ bag with it to be on the safe side and distract away from the white.

But I would quietly think it was ridiculous if anyone cared about it 😂

smallshinybutton · 26/09/2023 17:54

MsFrost · 26/09/2023 17:50

In my circle there would be no issues at all with wearing this to a wedding. No one would bat an eyelid. It's not even fully white.

But it really depends on the people, so if you're worried, maybe check with the bride or someone close to her.

True maybe it depends on your circle.

Original poster
caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 17:52

shakeitoffsis · 26/09/2023 17:50

No way!

Why?

OP posts:
Original poster
caerdydd12 · 26/09/2023 17:52

MsFrost · 26/09/2023 17:50

In my circle there would be no issues at all with wearing this to a wedding. No one would bat an eyelid. It's not even fully white.

But it really depends on the people, so if you're worried, maybe check with the bride or someone close to her.

I've never met the bride, or her family/friends so Mumsnet was the next best thing haha

OP posts:
shakeitoffsis · 26/09/2023 17:50

No way!

MsFrost · 26/09/2023 17:50

In my circle there would be no issues at all with wearing this to a wedding. No one would bat an eyelid. It's not even fully white.

But it really depends on the people, so if you're worried, maybe check with the bride or someone close to her.

slithytoveisascientist · 26/09/2023 17:42

First dress too white
Actual dress you've bought is fine

Do you have a coordinating wrap / shrug / cardi? Can we see pics of the final style?

GreenEyedGiant · 26/09/2023 17:40

It's absolutely fine for a September wedding OP! I had something similar for a May wedding but ended up not being able to go so it's hanging in my wardrobe with tags on and I can assure you it will be worn to the next wedding regardless of the season!