My DH and I have two gorgeous girls aged 4 and 18 months. DH has always said he only wants two, I desperately want a third. However, I have always been firm that a third child should be a joint decision: I would never push him into it and certainly never manufacture an "accident". I know that there are many reasons why not to have a third - mostly financial. I know that it would be very hard on our relationship. I know all these things (and they are valid arguments) but I also feel like our family isn't complete and I know I will always be sad about that. It's not that I want a third newborn, although I would love that. It's that I want another whole person: another baby at the breast, another 7 year old learning to play piano, another teenager's first heartbreak, another grown up coming home and raiding the fridge. When I think about that not happening, I feel like I've been punched in the gut.
Anyway, we discussed it and agreed on a vasectomy. Well, least we agreed that this seemed like a logical long-term contraception option. When we agreed, the waiting list was so long I suppose I thought/hoped he would change his mind. Our youngest was still a tiny baby then, and a lot has changed since he went on the list. However, next Friday is V-day and he's still certain. I am completely heartbroken. I really support my husband's choice because I don't want him to be forced into a third baby he doesn't want. I know he has weighed this carefully and hasn't made the decision light-heartedly. I feel terrible, because I am just so sad. I can't stop crying and he is feeling guilty and shit about something which he can't change either.
How do I get past this? Am I being a complete arsehole to be making him feel guilty about something we agreed on?