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AIBU?

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Original poster

Really annoyed and need a rant

60 replies

jamdodgers · 24/09/2023 15:44

On Thursday DH suggested going out for a roast today, I booked a nice local pub and was looking forward to it.

Turns out when he went to an event with friends this morning, they went to the cafe after and he had a fry up and now doesn't want to go out for dinner. He told me half hour ago and we are booked in for 16:30. So I've cleaned the house, walked the dog early, juggled this with my 4 month old baby who's really miserable at the minute due to teething, didn't eat any lunch and had 1 bit of toast for breakfast as knew I'd be having a big dinner for him to say we're not going.

I've just called him selfish and come up to the bedroom because I think this is out of order but he says I'm overreacting. I was really looking forward to putting some make up on and having a treat of a meal out but now I'm just stuck in like the rest of the time.

OP posts:
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Backtoblack1 · 24/09/2023 21:05

Hope you enjoyed with your friends x

mummy21blueeyed · 24/09/2023 20:49

i hope you had a lovely evening @jamdodgers

Defender90 · 24/09/2023 20:32

I applaud you! Hope you've had a lovely meal and yap with your friends.

MammaTo · 24/09/2023 20:31

Amazing!!

Make sure you stay out late enough to miss bedtime 🙌🏻

OhamIreally · 24/09/2023 20:22

Looking forward to hearing how your dinner was. Hope your DH is more contrite after an evening alone with the baby.

Beaverbridge · 24/09/2023 20:19

Selfish arsehole. Hope you had a lovely meal and plenty wine!.

smallshinybutton · 24/09/2023 20:15

If he doesn't sort himself out after this OP I'd consider your future with him. He's an arse

LoudestRoar · 24/09/2023 20:01

Hope you had a lovely evening!

Mumsanetta · 24/09/2023 18:11

Good for you @jamdodgers! He seemed pretty intent on ruining your afternoon - first by wanting to cancel and then refusing to even sit and just have a drink. Well done for not allowing him to ruin your day and I hope you have a good night out with your friends!

Purplepeoniesdroppingpetals · 24/09/2023 18:08

Good for you. Enjoy!

Iloveacurry · 24/09/2023 18:00

Sounds fab, have a lovely time.

FOJN · 24/09/2023 17:59

jamdodgers · 24/09/2023 16:17

Thanks everyone.

I've got 2 friends together and we are going out at 6 for dinner, he can sit in with baby.

Bloody brilliant. Have a great time.

Be sure to leave him a list of chores that need doing, sounds like he's had a fairly relaxed day whilst you've held the fort so make him step up.

CampervanKween · 24/09/2023 17:54

Have a lovely time, and props to your friends for supporting you at short notice. Female friends rock 🥰

StrongandNorthern · 24/09/2023 17:29

You're a star! Enjoy yourselves.

fuckssaaaaake · 24/09/2023 17:26

Sorry didn't read your replies. Doh! He's an idiot

fuckssaaaaake · 24/09/2023 17:26

I don't know why he wouldn't just go with you and have a pint

Bubblemoons · 24/09/2023 17:26

jamdodgers · 24/09/2023 16:19

No way am I apologising, I'm not sorry for calling him selfish. He has no idea what it's like to sit in the house/walk the dog/clean the house/cook/laundry/be a Mum all week every week and have these little things to look forward to for somebody to ruin it.

Show quote history

I completely agree, he is selfish and obviously doesn’t understand what it’s like being at home with the baby. I remember feeling exactly like you when I had young babies, you look forward to the weekends and doing something different/ getting out. I think your disappointment and upset is completely valid. I’m glad you’re going with friends instead

RyanGoslingsTan · 24/09/2023 17:22

theduchessofspork · 24/09/2023 16:07

If he doesn’t want to come with you and have a drink, take a friend or go by yourself with a book.

Personally I would apologise for overreacting, explain you were looking forward to it and ask him to come. He shouldn’t have eaten so much he didn’t want dinner, but these things happen.

You have got to be kidding? No way should she apologise

xyz111 · 24/09/2023 17:12

jamdodgers · 24/09/2023 16:17

Thanks everyone.

I've got 2 friends together and we are going out at 6 for dinner, he can sit in with baby.

I'm so pleased!!!!!

Alargeoneplease89 · 24/09/2023 17:10

jamdodgers · 24/09/2023 16:17

Thanks everyone.

I've got 2 friends together and we are going out at 6 for dinner, he can sit in with baby.

Fab! Enjoy

supersop60 · 24/09/2023 17:09

MNetcurtains · 24/09/2023 17:05

Not going to read the whole thread. You all go out and he doesn't have to eat. Done!

You can read OP's updates though. Doesnt take long.
Well done OP - have a great evening, then have a conversation about him communicating with you if plans change!

Littlemissmagnet · 24/09/2023 17:07

Good for you getting friends as clearly they will understand your needs 🙂 enjoy your meal u deserve it.

MNetcurtains · 24/09/2023 17:05

Not going to read the whole thread. You all go out and he doesn't have to eat. Done!

UnctuousUnicorns · 24/09/2023 17:04

jamdodgers · 24/09/2023 16:17

Thanks everyone.

I've got 2 friends together and we are going out at 6 for dinner, he can sit in with baby.

Great stuff! Enjoy your meal! 👍

UnctuousUnicorns · 24/09/2023 17:02

BeverleyMacker · 24/09/2023 15:51

Make him go with you. He can have a drink and look after baby.

Show quote history

Oh God, no, I would hate to have someone sitting across the table from me, just sipping a drink, while I stuffed my face. I hate eating a meal if the person with me isn't eating too. It's supposed to be a sociable occasion for both or everyone.

And no, a takeaway isn't the same as sitting down to a roast dinner.

I feel for you, OP, I can't imagine my DH doing that. Next time I'd ask a friend whom you can rely on, as your DH clearly can't be.

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