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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Other drivers

85 replies

Desperatetime · 23/09/2023 16:18

I've noticed that everybody seems to he in a rush and some have a attitude I'm sick of people up my rear end when I'm doing the speed limit and hovering to overtake.
Last night around 11pm I had somebody up my rear flashing and blowing thier horn at me when I was doing the speed limit maybe just under aibu to think this behaviour is getting worse.

OP posts:
Thementalloadisreal · 24/09/2023 20:43

I’ve noticed a huge increase in drivers veering over the middle lines and onto the other side of the road, especially on bends but on straight narrow roads too. Is it because cars have got bigger (they’re still certainly not too big for their own side of the road!) or have people got worse at judging the space around their cars?

uhOhOP · 24/09/2023 20:37

kitsuneghost · 24/09/2023 20:05

YANBU. I actually reduced my speed from a generous 70mph to 50mph. Halved my petrol and arrived at work way less stressed.

It's such hard work being angry with people driving slower than you. We all need to chill a bit

In addition, my journey time increased from 35 to 40min and the lorries that drive aggressively up my ass before overtaking reach my final roundabout at the same time as me.

What is the speed limit of the road? I'm wondering why driving at 70 mph is "generous".

kitsuneghost · 24/09/2023 20:05

YANBU. I actually reduced my speed from a generous 70mph to 50mph. Halved my petrol and arrived at work way less stressed.

It's such hard work being angry with people driving slower than you. We all need to chill a bit

In addition, my journey time increased from 35 to 40min and the lorries that drive aggressively up my ass before overtaking reach my final roundabout at the same time as me.

Desperatetime · 24/09/2023 19:38

Mostly men isn't it

OP posts:
Crochetpenguin · 24/09/2023 19:37

Dd has her driving test next week so I am taking her out in my car most days. What is it with L plates that makes grown men think they can bully 17 year olds and almost force them off the road! Tbf there have been lots of nice drivers who give dd lots of space and time.

jamdodgers · 24/09/2023 19:33

We have a cut through from one town to another which is all windy country like lanes and they have put up average speed cameras (40mph road).

The other day, I had a Range Rover tailgating me as I couldn't overtake 3 cyclists as you can't see around the bends, he overtook me on a blind corner, obviously didn't realise there were 3 cyclists not 1 and the car coming the opposite direction had to slam their brakes on and stop in the road.

Every single day I see something idiotic whilst on the roads.

greengreengrass25 · 24/09/2023 19:24

Also not giving way and hurtling down the wrong side of the road past parked cars and not driving carefully

Desperatetime · 24/09/2023 19:21

thatsabigtree I was doing 30 maybe a tad under and maybe if they are so impatient and stressed they shouldn't be on.the road anyway.
It was 11pm and quiet so if they get angry and stressed at that time of night then no hope for them

OP posts:
uhOhOP · 24/09/2023 19:03

GoodTrouble · 24/09/2023 18:48

You've said you were doing under the speed limit so it's not a surprise people behind you were getting frustrated. You need to progress better.

No, OP said "I was doing the speed limit, maybe just under". Wouldn't you assume that to mean that the speed might have dropped to 67 or 68 for a few moments? It's definitely a noticeable (and frustrating) decrease in speed, but your comment makes it sound as though OP said they were at 60 instead of 70 mph, which is quite different.

Zone4flaneur · 24/09/2023 18:50

For some reason it seems worse in Surrey than anywhere else round here. Much prefer driving in central London.

Today I had a moron in a big black 4x4 lean on his horn because I gave way to a vehicle on the right at a roundabout. Apparently I should have pulled into oncoming traffic because he had some sort of masculinity problem.

I'm a really experienced defensive driver- I've driven in lots of developing countries known for crazy traffic- but for some reason I find it much more irritating in the UK, I think because I expect people to know and adhere to the rules, and they don't. Also see driving up my bumper doing 30 in a 30 limit zone. Ah yes, I am prepared to kill someone, lest you be late for your round of golf.

GoodTrouble · 24/09/2023 18:48

You've said you were doing under the speed limit so it's not a surprise people behind you were getting frustrated. You need to progress better.

uhOhOP · 24/09/2023 18:47

MintJulia · 24/09/2023 18:41

You had my support until this.

Deliberately provoking an already stressed driver is a stupid and dangerous thing to do. You have no idea what is going on in other people's lives and this is just unnecessary. It will come back to bite you and will be your own fault.

And this was posted while I was writing my post.

uhOhOP · 24/09/2023 18:46

Uh oh, OP.

So far so fine, OP, with most people expressing agreement with you. But I think you're on the cusp of getting the "if they flash you just move out of the way" replies, along with the "but 70 mph is just an arbitrary speed chosen aaaages ago and I think up to 100 mph on a clear road is perfectly fine, so there" people. So far most people think you are not being unreasonable, but your "I deliberately go slower to piss them off" is not going to help.

I don't agree with being intimated out of the way, but I also don't agree with deliberately trying to wind up a driver who's already shown that they are an aggressive and impatient driver. You want those people in front of you, not behind you.

MintJulia · 24/09/2023 18:41

Desperatetime · 24/09/2023 18:04

Glad it's not just me I'm probably doing wrong but I deliberately go slower to piss them off.

You had my support until this.

Deliberately provoking an already stressed driver is a stupid and dangerous thing to do. You have no idea what is going on in other people's lives and this is just unnecessary. It will come back to bite you and will be your own fault.

Verv · 24/09/2023 18:36

It's the endless fucking dawdlers that get on my nerves. Sticking to 35 on a 60 mph road because ooh its the countryside and there are bends. Then getting all po faced if someone dares to overtake.

Ditto the massive arseholes who sit on the middle or outside lane parallell to the rest of the traffic not doing any overtaking whatsoever because that might cause them to go over 70 and that would be illegallllll so they just bottleneck the M6 until someone gets up their arse and they wake up.

greengreengrass25 · 24/09/2023 18:36

I've noticed drivers who can't wait to come out of a side road, there is no gap then pull out then speed up down the wrong side of the road and push in ahead

Wish they'd get caught

thatsabigtree · 24/09/2023 18:30

Desperatetime · 24/09/2023 18:04

Glad it's not just me I'm probably doing wrong but I deliberately go slower to piss them off.

Yes you are doing wrong as if you're already doing 20 and slowing below that. That is entirely twattish behaviour.

DownNative · 24/09/2023 18:20

Get a rear dashcam installed plus warning sign and they'll soon back off.

Works for me every time and one was charged with failure to stop too when he hit me.

Desperatetime · 24/09/2023 18:04

Glad it's not just me I'm probably doing wrong but I deliberately go slower to piss them off.

OP posts:
anomaly2 · 23/09/2023 23:58

Greyandrare123 · 23/09/2023 19:45

Yes
Tailgating
Flashing
Veering out onto other side of the road
Shouting obsenities

Then I got a large back window dash cam and I squirt screenwash to show the tailgator they are being recorded and they often back off.

The issue is its not just cars. Lorries, coaches also tailgate and veer in and out as well

Ive 36 yrs driving experience and I drive on the speed limits. Most of my tailgators have blacked out windows or I can barely see their head as they are lying almost flat in the drivers seat. They never indicate either so I have to guess where they are going on roundabouts.
It really puts me off

How does squirting screen wash show you are recording?

FFSWhatToDoNow · 23/09/2023 23:49

CaroleSP · 23/09/2023 22:29

I live in Wales & we've just had the 1st week of the blanket 20mph limit on a third of our roads & the increase in tailgating & abuse has been staggering. We live in a rural village and very few stuck to the 30mph so they're certainly not going to stick to 20.
I've also noticed a big increase in poor driving on the motorways since the pandemic, particularly black Audis or BMW going from lane 3 or 4 to the exit in one manoeuvre, far too late to be safe, often with no indicators showing.

Me too. Fucking stupid policy badly implemented. My 20 year old car is pumping more emissions into the atmosphere so it’s rather a slam dunk for the WG.

FFSWhatToDoNow · 23/09/2023 23:45

thatsabigtree · 23/09/2023 22:48

Completely agree. Middle lane driver on the motorway drive me insane. I was on the inside lane on a 4 lane motorway earlier. Nothing in the second lane, everyone in lane 3! Why?!! I undertook all of them and I wasn't speeding. They should all have been in the inside lane.

Another thing that drives me mad is people sitting in the outside lane on a national speed limit duel carriage way thinking that 60 is the speed limit. Firstly, the speed limit is 70, you're slowing down the road, secondly, WHY ARE YOU IN THE OUTSIDE LANE WHEN YOURE NOT OVERTAKING ANYONE?!!!

Same. I want a scrolling message board to educate the idiots.

And a flamethrower front and back. ;)

thatsabigtree · 23/09/2023 22:48

FFSWhatToDoNow · 23/09/2023 20:54

I drive a lot for work. It’s the dawdlers and the middle lane hoggers that are the dangerous ones. Fucking idiots. Too right I’m getting the hell away from them ASAP.

(also have front and back dashcams on all my cars and the footage gets uploaded to operation snap.)

Completely agree. Middle lane driver on the motorway drive me insane. I was on the inside lane on a 4 lane motorway earlier. Nothing in the second lane, everyone in lane 3! Why?!! I undertook all of them and I wasn't speeding. They should all have been in the inside lane.

Another thing that drives me mad is people sitting in the outside lane on a national speed limit duel carriage way thinking that 60 is the speed limit. Firstly, the speed limit is 70, you're slowing down the road, secondly, WHY ARE YOU IN THE OUTSIDE LANE WHEN YOURE NOT OVERTAKING ANYONE?!!!

Sparklesocks · 23/09/2023 22:36

Yes it’s very prevalent. Last week I was driving along an A-road with 3 roundabouts spaced about half a mile apart. The majority of the traffic including myself were going directly across at each, so getting into the left lane to leave at the second exit directly ahead. A man cut me up on the first one, pulling into the right hand lane initially but then suddenly cutting across me to get ahead of me into my left lane. He beeped and gave me the finger as he passed, as if I was the one swerving across lanes.

I watched him do the same thing to other drivers at the next two roundabouts - nearly causing an accident at one - only for him to pull off at a petrol station just seconds later. So it wasn’t like he was in a rush or anything, he was just cutting up traffic for fun! Sadly not a one off these days.

CaroleSP · 23/09/2023 22:29

I live in Wales & we've just had the 1st week of the blanket 20mph limit on a third of our roads & the increase in tailgating & abuse has been staggering. We live in a rural village and very few stuck to the 30mph so they're certainly not going to stick to 20.
I've also noticed a big increase in poor driving on the motorways since the pandemic, particularly black Audis or BMW going from lane 3 or 4 to the exit in one manoeuvre, far too late to be safe, often with no indicators showing.