Name changed as pretty sensitive post. Please don’t read if possible sexual assault will be triggering for you.
Would really appreciate thoughts on whether the following situation would be considered rape/ sexual assault or just a misunderstanding or something else.
- Female and male both attracted to each other and engaging in foreplay.
- Female tells male she is happy to have sex but only if a condom is used. Very clear about this being a condition for sex.
- Male says he doesn’t have any condoms and female doesn’t either, so agree no sex.
- Kissing etc and naked, male on top of female.
- Female feels something slightly entering vagina, assumes male’s fingers - fine with this.
- Female realises it might be male’s penis so asks - he confirms it is.
- Female tells male she is not comfortable with this, he replies “oh don’t say that” and immediately stops.
Not nescessarily directly impacting upon the above but following this:
- Female and male continue to kiss etc.
- Next morning male finds he does have a condom and they have sex.
- Over text when female raises the previous issue, male replies along the lines of saying that he doesn’t understand why she is concerned as he has no STIs and that as they were naked, his penis was bound to touch her, but doesn’t deny that it did penetrate her.
AIBU:
- Reasonable: it was rape or sexual assault.
- Unreasonable: it was a misunderstanding or some other situation that was not an assault.