To not have parents dog round.

I can’t fathom families that interact like this! More like enemies than anything close to loving

I'm a dog person, but I never understand people who think it's ok to impose their pets on people. They should have sorted a dog sitter, or kennel for the night. Can the dog stay at home for a few hours at all? You are not being unreasonable.

Their dog, their responsibility. It is a dog not a child.

You are definitey NOT being unreasonable.
I would feel very inclined to say to them "do not guilt trip me into looking after your badly behaved dog"

Monetary gifts from parents should come with ribbons not strings.

Also, our dog is a real part of our family but he is still a dog. We limit where we take him and never, ever impose him on others. I never take him to someone's house unless he's been specifically invited (we have a few friends who love having him around)

Some people are pathetic when they compare animals to children, FFS

This issue aside - surely you can’t possibly be close to your parents?

I can't believe they compared their dog to your children, their grandchildren.
That alone would be enough to have a break from them.

You are not being unreasonable.

I'm not sure of the answer to the fall out, but the fact that their dog cocks it's leg in your house sometimes and causes chaos with your own dogs is enough for you to be perfectly entitled to ask for it not to be bought around.

That's really sad they put their dog above their relationship with their family.
I would just leave them to it.

It sound to me as if a nice long break from them would benefit everybody!

I'd leave it a few weeks. If they don't make any contact at all then you have your answer as to how much value they place on their relationship with you and their grandchildren sadly.

Up to you how to move forward after that.

My own parents got weirdly fixated with their dog when they got to an age when it was just them in the house with it.

Save up and pay them back op. Or they will blacken your name to anyone who will listen. 'Op banned us from her home and we paid for it' ...

Its a dog not a child. It can be left alone in a dog proofed house with no danger to itself.

If they had trained it and put manners on in while in your house I would have sympathy but they have not.

There may be more going on and the dog is being used as an excuse but YANBU they are

YNBU This may be straying off topic slightly but I don't understand why there seem to be so many people who don't leave their dogs alone AT ALL. Growing up we had dogs and they were fine left at home for a few hours at a time for an evening out etc. Obviously they were well walked and cared for. But now dog's need a dog sitter 24 hours a day? I have friends that have never left their dog alone from a pup and have set themselves up an impossible way of living in my opinion. Madness

It’s really not healthy for the dog and can cause severe anxiety if they ever need to be left alone and aren’t used to it.

Also OP, do your children pee all over your parent’s house?

I know what you mean about feeling strings attached with financial help.

My parents gave us (me and XH) some money once and while my DF was content about it my mother used to find sly ways to bring it up for years afterwards and acted as if we'd have been literally on the streets without it! (It was to replace a window)

I never accepted money again.

Are we talking thousands OP, like house deposit figures? I ask because i agree with pp that you might want to formulate a plan to pay it back for your own sanity going forward.

Agree with this.
Dog household growing up and through my 20s and 30s had my own dogs. Loved them obviously. Toys, walks and lots of fuss. But a dog is a dog. Sleeps in it's bed in the kitchen at night, eats dog food from it's dog bowl on the floor, not allowed upstairs and is fine left for a few hours when needs must. Dog leads long and happy life.

I think age/life stage might be coming into play in OPs parent's case though. It sounds as if they've fixated a bit on the dog now they have an empty nest. Like i said in previous post, my parents did the same.

They were perfectly sensible about the dogs we had while i was growing up, but the dog they got a few weeks before i left home (I'm an only child) became this spoiled snappy thing which was allowed free reign of their house, never trained and was never to be left alone for more than 2 minutes because it would wreck the place 🙄 Never used to being left alone so couldn't cope. Bloody thing bit me, one of my friends and 2 of theirs!

Totally this, these people make a rod for their own backs never leaving their dogs alone, when I was a kid the dog was fine to be left alone for a few hours back in the day where people didn’t constantly impose their dogs on other people

I haven't been around to make a mense and sort it out

Definitely don't do that. Just because their dog has cocked his leg on your sofa, doesn't mean you ought to ruin their carpet.

Just adding to the voices saying you are not unreasonable and can relate as I’ve a parent with a badly behaved dog (not her fault he just can’t be trained apparently).

in my case the dog jumps up/jumps on me so much so that I could never sit down in her living room. I say could as when I mentioned how annoying it was to have it jumping up , ripping my tights and scratching/drawing blood she said it was only me it jumped up at and gave me a solution - don’t come round then. This was after years and years of me acting like her pa and helping her and my dad with everything so you can imagine that went down like a lead balloon with me!

While I think YANBU, think about how much of a fall out you are willing to have over this. Are u seriously considering never speaking to them again? Without being morbid, think about how you'd feel if they died without reconciliation. Not saying you have to have the dog at yours in future, or apologise, but you might want want to think about how to make it up without giving in.b

I wouldn’t permit someone’s dog around. I made that mistake once and it resulted in her walking out as she thought my cat and her dog should “fight it out for territory” (in the cats turf).

I would not have her dog round and I think offering up a kid to look after it at theirs is accommodating and not selfish.

However…you dealt with it badly. You didn’t need to hang up the phone, that behaviour is what has triggered the subsequent rage from them and ignoring them following.

Youre an adult, get control of your emotions, don’t slam the phone down over a dog and just speak, like an adult. I think this behaviour was entirely selfish and childish and if my child acts like that when I am older I would also be pretty hacked off. Wholly unnecessary.

There's so many threads at the moment about the OPs mum hanging up and going NC at the slightest disagreement- what IS going on here? Why is NC the easy way out? To choose a dog over their own grandchildren?

And again, so many threads about dogs being badly behaved and unable to be left home alone.

I love dogs but something isn't right.

These two trends of needy dogs and going NC over anything is absolutely ridiculous

And actually, if it was a child (as they are implying when they compare their family unit including the dog with OP's children) it would be equally unreasonable to demand that OP's children babysit the dog.

Either it's a dog and can be left, or it's a child and can't be left with other children who aren't able to babysit it appropriately.

Nasty people. Putting a dog over family. I have helped my adult kids out financially a few times. They know they can ask and I never mention it, it would be rude to and to use it against them in a disagreement would be unthinkable. Shows a lack of love

You are not being unreasonable but don't let them fall out with you over this. It's just got out of hand with injured feelings on either side. You can't change them and you obviously love them and they love you.

It's your choice but it seems to me you may have to build the bridges as they won't. You won't remember all of this when sadly you have to say goodbye to them for good.