He didn't acknowledge my birthday

Go with your gut. 10 weeks is more than long enough to know how to behave on your birthday. I had a boyfriend who had a birthday on day 10 of our relationship, coincidentally also the day I was going on a family holiday. We celebrated the night before, I gave him a card and a few small gifts, he dropped me at home on the day of his birthday so that we could see each other as much as we could before my flight. I knew what his birthday plans were; we of course discussed them because I wanted to know how he was spending the rest of his day. There was literally no way I could have forgotten his birthday.

On holiday I bought a variety of random birthday gifts; whiskey, a didgeridoo, some ornaments. The whiskey was an unexpected huge hit, as was one of the ornaments. The other things he appreciated (I think) as it showed I had been thinking about him, and the didgeridoo especially was pretty difficult to fly home!!!

20 years later, we’re happily married. When you’re smitten with someone, you make a huge effort because you really care about what they’re doing. I actually can’t believe he didn’t get you a gift - chocolate, perfume, jewellery or something more personal. There are so many options to just demonstrate he’s into you. He sounds completely uninterested in you, and as others have said, if he’s like this in the romantic love shower period (when I’m surprised you don’t get each other small gifts anyway - isn’t that what love is all about?!) he will be awful in the long run.

Get out now! As you said, you know your worth; and you’re worth so much more.

@Wibblywobblylikejelly sorry, lost interest last night. Actually can't be bothered now either. See ya

but there’s no reason for this guy to have assumed that she couldn’t bear to be reminded of her birthday , considering she went out of her way to mention to him she had an upcoming birthday.

The fact she mentioned it should be enough of a hint for him to ask her if she wants to do anything for it /get her a small gift. And now she’s said she was celebrating it, he should be in no doubt that she does indeed like to mark her birthdays.

As a pp said, how someone feels about their own birthday shouldn’t impact how they treat their partner on theirs.

You think so little of yourself that you would have been happy with a text?

He knows that. Which is why he didn’t care enough to mark the occasion.

The ‘normal’ in this scenario would be a birthday date and a small gift!

Some people (me) can't bear to be reminded of our birthdays; some don't regard birthdays as a big deal-maybe he's one of them. If he expects to have a fuss made of his birthday but ignores yours, that is a very red flag; but I wouldn't hold it against him for getting the date wrong, unless he seems generally indifferent or selfish overall.

OP - it was my birthday yesterday and the guy I've been dating for a month really spoilt me. A card, flowers and an awesome puzzle thing we had to do together.
If they're interested then they show it - throw this one back

I agree.

OP he could have at least offered to take you out for coffee and cake and given you a card or a small bunch of flowers from the supermarket. There’s so many low key ways to celebrate with someone.

A guy I’ve been seeing for less than a month baked me one of my favourite cakes and took me out for dinner last week to celebrate a career achievement I had.

I don’t buy his response about not knowing 🤥 And even if he genuinely didn’t know, what’s stopping him from organising something now? The fact he most likely tried to pretend he didn’t know it’s your birthday suggests even he is aware he should’ve did something to mark it.

IME, men don't think we're sulking if we don't reply to texts. Instead, they think we're busy doing something. Something exciting. Something more interesting than them.

Never ever be afraid to ignore a text. He'll picture you driving a car really fast/flirting with a stranger, wearing a backless dress/reconnecting with a rich ex/being lifted up in the air in a nightclub. He won't picture you fuming at home in a face pack and a dressing gown.

And did you take the shit out and hope it would mold into something better and more fulfilling?

Or did you accept it was just shit and flush it away?

Fucking hell, it is so obvious he is not bothered. If he were really into you, he absolutely would have remembered your birthday. Accept it, tell him goodbye, and move on.

@Wibblywobblylikejelly just my take. Ive had longer shits

Weird? About sending a text, buying a card and box of cholactes for the person he's presumably been shagging?!

Come ON!

If that is the reason dump him fatser.

YANBU. And there's no excusing it really.
Sorry he was crap and a very Happy Birthday from me

2.5 months tho, maybe he didn't know what to do as it's a really awkward stage for a birthday. 6 months, easy; get a small gift. I agree he could have text but you hardly know each other yet to be fair so maybe he just felt weird about it and didn't know what to do

This would be enough for me to dump him. I've actually dumped for less in that short space of time.

It's the honeymoon period. The time when you show off your best self to attract the other person.

If he can't last being his best self for 8 weeks AND forgets your first birthday together then throw him back in.

It takes 0 effort to put an alarm in your Callender. Do not settle for less than you deserve.
Expect better!

Not “oh my goodness, I’m so sorry, I thought it was next week, I feel really bad I got it wrong” ?

Hmm. If you really want to, wait and see if a thoughtful card shows up. But don't put up with crap.

Wouldn't he have got a Google reminder of your bday first thing? I get them for all sorts of randoms

Yep this. These are the early days when he should be out to impress. This is shoddy and I'd bin him

Men who are interested in you romantically gift you on your birthday. In fact they look for excuses to gift you. He’s not bothered. I’d stop contact

He’s a whole lot of a shit .
He waited untill the day was nearly over then reply’s to your txt so he doesn’t have to acknowledge your birthday .

listen to him . You weren’t worth a free txt mesage that takes a few seconds to send .

As you said know your worth .
Txt him and say that it’s not working foe
you anymore and tell
him to take care( I wouldn’t explain he already knows )

If this is his only failure to date, then I would just reply and say "I was out for my birthday..." And see what he says.

If there's a pattern emerging then I'd just ignore him and deal with it tomorrow.

My husband once forgot my birthday. It upset me more than I expected it to - but we weren't new and he should've known better.

I always forget our anniversary

There are a few options. You can ask for what you want. You shouldn't have to but there we are. You can act PA and peevey and feel like crap. You can block and ignore. You can tell him what you've been doing in a normal and not PA way.

I'd probably be PA. But I suggest that if you like him, you behave like an adult. "I was disappointed you didn't wish me a happy birthday. I like birthdays and they are important to me". True, short and clear communication.

DH told me he didn't do birthdays early on and I told him that was a great reason for me not to get him anything, not vice versa. He's been wonderful for many years.

I had a very similar thing once, and as it was early days I just bowed out quietly and told him it wasn’t working.

I found out much later he’d started talking to his ex again so that was probably was distracted him!

I don’t need a fancy present or grand day out but some kind of acknowledgment would be nice and I’d worry if the guy was so blasé about it if it’s going to continue like that for the rest of relationship.

If you really want to stick with him I’d definitely mention it straight away though so you don’t secretly harbour bad feelings and can clear the air hopefully . How he responds will show you if he’s worth continuing the relationship or not.

I had an old friend whose partner doesn’t get involved with Christmas or valentines days or or birthdays etc , he doesn’t get anything for her OR their kids on any of these occasions . I always think no that couldn’t be me. But to be fair to him, he showed her who he was at the start and she accepted it.