Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are we classed as "poor" or average

341 replies

FutureMrsBourne · 17/09/2023 17:25

Sorry I couldn't think of a better word.
DH earns around £70k.
I only earn £12ph and work 3 days a week as we have 2 children under 5.
Most of my friends are on slightly more than me an hour but not massively, have maybe slightly nicer but similar houses, only really get their hair done in terms of beauty.. but most of DH's friends partners earn £50+.. have big houses with cinema rooms, bars.. have regular Botox, lip fillers etc.
we live in a 3 bed and semi and have saved since 2018 for a new kitchen.
Are we poor.. or average? I feel such a failure compared to DH's friends wives and I worked bloody hard for my qualifications that are rubbish pay!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
diamondpony80 · 18/09/2023 21:02

Some people are so lacking in awareness.

Sunshineismyfavourite · 18/09/2023 20:57

Why are you comparing yourself to all of these people? You have a DH, DCs and a home and you are both working. Enjoy your life OP and stop stressing about keeping up with the Joneses. One day you'll really have something to worry about ...

Jellykat · 18/09/2023 20:57

🙄

Ontheperiphery79 · 18/09/2023 20:56

"...if my wage was pro rata to full time I would only be on around £20k too x..."

Tone deaf comparative comment when you are in a two income household, with one earning 70k, @FutureMrsBourne. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Overthebow · 18/09/2023 20:49

Well you’re certainly not poor, your DH earns £70k and you can afford for you to work part time which is a luxury. I’d say average-high income.

Pizzapie22 · 18/09/2023 20:47

The sad fact is unless you’re mega rich, we’re all poor in this country. It’s just the ‘higher’ earners who aren’t mega rich are spending more of their money on the state than the lower earners but sadly it gets squandered by the government and none of us get to see the benefit.

FLRT · 18/09/2023 20:46

Honestly, you sound poor mentally more than financially. Do yourself a huge favour and do some self development work to help you not compare yourself to others and instead practice gratitude.

Bellyblueboy · 18/09/2023 20:41

You know you are being silly surely?

you think that anyone who isn’t living a reality TV lifestyle is poor? You think everyone can afford a white Range Rover and Botox and cinema rooms?

I do think you need to either look at some basic income statistics or volunteer at a food bank. Your detonation of poor is quite insulting. In fact I think this must be deliberate.

LalaPaloosa · 18/09/2023 20:37

OK! Good to know.

conunddrum · 18/09/2023 20:37

I should say, that's with a budget up to 500K

conunddrum · 18/09/2023 20:36

A rightmove search for houses (not flats), with at least 2 bedrooms brings up 1093 hits.

Comedycook · 18/09/2023 20:36

LalaPaloosa · 18/09/2023 20:34

Where are they???!! I’d love to know

South east london...no you won't get a house in Mayfair but come out to unfashionable parts of zone 4 and you will.

LalaPaloosa · 18/09/2023 20:34

Where are they???!! I’d love to know

Comedycook · 18/09/2023 20:33

LalaPaloosa · 18/09/2023 20:28

Do you live in London? I think £70k isn’t enough if you live in London. No £700k houses in London either. Outside of London is no doubt a different story

Huh? There are loads of houses in London for less than 700k...in fact, I live in one!

ConsuelaHammock · 18/09/2023 20:33

What do you want that you don’t currently have? Stuff is just stuff!

LalaPaloosa · 18/09/2023 20:32

And you can only use a pool a few months a year in England. Unless you have an indoor pool

ConsuelaHammock · 18/09/2023 20:32

You are an above average earning household. What you have to ask yourself is ‘Am I happy?’
Do you want a cinema room and Botox ? Stuff like that won’t make you any happier than you already are . You aren’t worrying about food and bills with your salary. You are a lot better off than a huge percentage of the population. It can be impossible to work out someone’s household income just by their jobs. Lots of people have savings and investments, perhaps they have another property they rent out. Not everyone will be living on just their salary.

Gingernan · 18/09/2023 20:30

Try being a pensioner still maintaining a family home for 'returning' adult kids.
It doesn't do to compare yourself to others and getting dissatisfied over silly things like Botox.

LalaPaloosa · 18/09/2023 20:28

Do you live in London? I think £70k isn’t enough if you live in London. No £700k houses in London either. Outside of London is no doubt a different story

ActDottie · 18/09/2023 20:20

This is such a tasteless post your household income is way above average

WhitewitchYorkshire · 18/09/2023 20:17

I’m sorry that you measure your “success “ in material terms..before you wish for something, look at the happiness of those who possess all that stuff. Your happiness should come from within.

NotAMug · 18/09/2023 20:09

A household isn't rich if bringing in £85k but definitely we'll above average.

Obviously not poor, that's ridiculous.

BluePinkTrees · 18/09/2023 20:07

You are rich OP.

If the comparisons bother you then move somewhere cheaper and mix more with poorer friends. Research shows people are happier if they are just slightly richer then their neighbours.

Callipygion · 18/09/2023 20:05

If I had a £70k income I'd feel like a f* millionaire!

Mulberrytree20 · 18/09/2023 20:03

Your asking if a household income of 70k is poor? Think you need to read the room and take a look around!