Are we classed as "poor" or average

I was talking about household income, £85k household income would not be top 12%. That's the relevant figure in the OP, not really the 70k. If they were both on 70k then that's different.

You are not poor by any stretch of the imagination but if you are watching other peoples lives so closely & trying to keep up with then I imagine you could have financially over stretched yourselves over the years.

STOP watching other people’s lives & just live your own!!!
Everything those other people have will probably be HP or ‘on tick’ & I imagine they are mortgaged up-to the hilt to boot!

Honestly many would be very happy with your family income & able to manage a good life, as well as good retirement, on that sort of money.

If you are struggling look at your family finances & do things to fix that rather than burying your heads in the sand.

Try being a disabled person or a single parent trying to survive on less than £17,000 a year in this economic climate!

Depends how you measure success?
Money, whilst it's helpful for comforts, does nor buy happiness, good health or peace.

I'd say you were average in terms of earnings between you.

Are you average in life rewards?

I earn similar to you , OP, but don't have a partner. So your family income is, to me, eye-wateringly high. I do go without lots of things (few meals out, pub visits a rarity, I only buy second hand clothes, no make up, cigarettes, dentist only when I can afford it etc.). You're doing pretty darn well in my book.

Everybody in the UK, at every point on the socio-economic spectrum, is better off than poor people routinely starving to death in other parts of the world. Here everybody gets free food, shelter, healthcare, TV, heating, clothing, education......
On the other hand, there are always people with more than you, and sometimes very much more, so you will be poor by their standards. They may well be mad, miserable or dying in agony, but you are relatively, financially, poor.
It is up to you to set your own expectations, and those of your dependants, but you can live well and happily within your means, without foolish jealousy.
If it is any consolation, we are all levelled in the end, and the wisest of us knows not how soon. There are probably more important things to think about. Anyway
the word "poor" is utterly unhelpful!

What a shallow individual needs educating

You said £70k wouldn’t be close to top 12% in many places and it wouldn’t buy a terrace where you live (sorry I misquoted to type of house).

i am Pointing out that the regional difference is salaries is not significant - and that £70k salary is well above average in all parts of the uk.

Is this a joke? Who the hell has friends with cinemas and bars in their houses, unless they're all WAGs? Either you're being lied to or they are dumbing down their footballer husbands salaries to make you feel OK.....

Income is irrelevant except in term of where you live. Central London, you need a massive salary. Outer Hebrides, a different story. And a whole range in between!

I live in the South but not too close to London. A salary of £70K plus your wage on top would make most people pretty comfortable.

I get that you're unhappy about earning such a low wage after maybe years of training - that's a different matter. Sadly, some jobs don't pay well even when you have qualifications.

A teacher or nurse earns less than half of your husband's wage?! So does a Research Scientist. We've never had a combined income that large. Definitely above average and definitely not poor.

Who said that would make you poor? I certainly didn't so not sure why you're quoting my post. I said it wasn't rich earning 42k a year. Its a very good salary, not sure anyone can actually deny that, definitely not rich though.

And it is not 350k for a 3 bed semi here, you'd be looking at over 400k for that, and we're not close to London, just a bog standard 3 bed with no parking.

Median full time earnings in London are £41k.

you aren’t poor just because you can’t afford a £350k semi!!!!

the mumsnet bubble Is terrifying!

A not so stealth boast. Just ignore the attention seeking OP.

That's income alone in comparison to average income. Of course in some areas that income wealth equals more or less leftover after housing costs. OP was quoting income alone.

Shes not though, only the DH is a high earner, if it was equal then its just over 40k each.

I read the title and got to "DH earns 70k" and didn't bother to read on. Surely you must be joking?

You only need to worry about this if Botox, lip fillers and home cinema rooms are a big deal to you.

Depends where you live really. That's a salary of 42.5k each, that is not a mega high salary. Rich is surely classed as top few % of earner. 85k is a good joint income but wouldn't pay for a big mortgage, private school and flash cars.

It's a good income, no denying that and many people would do anything to have it. Its not rich though.

Why on Earth does it matter ? Why compare yourself ?
Have you got your health ? Do you love your DH ?

what else are you hankering after ?
Bugger your friends - just get on with your life.

Surely this must depend on the area. To live in many places in the South a household income of £85k won't be close to top 12%. An average 3 bed terrace house without parking near me is around £350k.

I would say you are neither poor nor average. More like well off. We have a combined income of around £16k and live well enough. I'm not sure I would know what to do if we had your combined income.
It is all relative, though. Maybe you don't budget the same way as we do.

Of course its rich! Anyone struggling on that income is making choices to live beyond their means.

I think, assuming this is genuine, one of two things is happening here:

1. You are being financially abused. It is perfectly possible to be really poor (of the not knowing how to buy the next meal variety) when your partner is on a good income if they are abusive.

1. Like most of us, you feel much more restricted in what you can spend than you used to. If you've never actually been poor that can feel like poverty. My friend thinks she's poor because she's had to cut back the number of designer handbags she buys. That's not poverty but she's never had to think about what she spends, so she doesn't know that.

The average wage is £27k. A salary above £60k puts you in the top 10% of income earners and above £180k puts you in the top 1% of income earners.

So at £70k no you are not poor, you are in the top 10%.

They sound really classy going to get their teeth done on the cheap Turkiye.

Having botox done at home rather than somewhere nice.

In some parts of the country 700k won't get you much

Maybe they don't have as much money as you imagine

Maybe they are living beyond their means.

Don't fall into the envy trap. Enjoy the comfortable life you have now. You are lucky enough to have the best of both worlds able to work part time and be with your children.