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Original poster

Are we classed as "poor" or average

341 replies

FutureMrsBourne · 17/09/2023 17:25

Sorry I couldn't think of a better word.
DH earns around £70k.
I only earn £12ph and work 3 days a week as we have 2 children under 5.
Most of my friends are on slightly more than me an hour but not massively, have maybe slightly nicer but similar houses, only really get their hair done in terms of beauty.. but most of DH's friends partners earn £50+.. have big houses with cinema rooms, bars.. have regular Botox, lip fillers etc.
we live in a 3 bed and semi and have saved since 2018 for a new kitchen.
Are we poor.. or average? I feel such a failure compared to DH's friends wives and I worked bloody hard for my qualifications that are rubbish pay!

OP posts:
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8
CantFindTheBeat · 17/09/2023 18:23

Waferbiscuit · 17/09/2023 18:17

You're husband's not poor but you are.

Your post should really be questioning that fact and that it sounds like your 'poor-style wealth' relies on being latched onto a man.

That should keep you up at night, OP, not whether you can afford a wet bar.

"Being latched on to a man"? What a bitchy thing to say.

Her DH, whom she's married to, and working part time to look after their children.

Maybe OP will increase her earnings when her children are older.

And as she's married, she's protected financially in ways that co-habitees aren't.

Naddd · 17/09/2023 18:23

This cannot be a serious post?

TempyBrennan · 17/09/2023 18:22

Jesus. Harold. Christ.

if you’re poor then what the fuck am I? Destitute I guess.

vodkaredbullgirl · 17/09/2023 18:22

🤔 yes you are poor 🙄

rumred · 17/09/2023 18:21

I'm on £6k, I supplement it by doing up and selling stuff. And wasting nowt. And growing food. Etc.
You are not poor

Castleview6 · 17/09/2023 18:21

FutureMrsBourne · 17/09/2023 17:25

Sorry I couldn't think of a better word.
DH earns around £70k.
I only earn £12ph and work 3 days a week as we have 2 children under 5.
Most of my friends are on slightly more than me an hour but not massively, have maybe slightly nicer but similar houses, only really get their hair done in terms of beauty.. but most of DH's friends partners earn £50+.. have big houses with cinema rooms, bars.. have regular Botox, lip fillers etc.
we live in a 3 bed and semi and have saved since 2018 for a new kitchen.
Are we poor.. or average? I feel such a failure compared to DH's friends wives and I worked bloody hard for my qualifications that are rubbish pay!

Read the room! Most people would love to have your joint income and it’s nearly three times the national median. You’ve decided not to progress your career before having children - if you feel differently change this. But please don’t pull the poor/ average sad card when most people would love your household income.

Not sure why you’re so worried about what other people do/ have with their money - that’s their choice. You make yours and just be happy with you very good income instead of moaning on Mumsnet.

Itick8outof10boxes · 17/09/2023 18:21

Do yourself a favour and stop comparing yourself with other people. Who in the real world needs a plastic face and a home cinema? Who cares about their big houses and what they cost? If mortaged they part own it with the bank so not home owners in the true sense.
They may have loans and credit card debt that you don't know about. They don't 'own' the designer hand bag until the card is financally clear. No need to be envious, total waste of time, and total race to the bottom. Rise above it.

HerculesTheBercules · 17/09/2023 18:20

Wow.

CantFindTheBeat · 17/09/2023 18:20

Going to Turkey to get teeth done fills me with dread, OP. Thank your lucky stars you're not going down that route.

You sound like you and your DH have your heads screwed on. Things like saving for your kitchen and not overstretching yourselves will make you far, far happier in future.

whatausername · 17/09/2023 18:20

FutureMrsBourne · 17/09/2023 17:32

@pinkpanther2023 if my wage was pro rata to full time I would only be on around £20k too x

You're average. Your husband's done alright though. Well done him.

Daffidale · 17/09/2023 18:20

Sorry OP but the minute you wrote DH earns around £70k. you are neither poor nor average. You’re above average.

ONS say “In the financial year ending (FYE) 2022, median household income in the UK before taxes and benefits was £35,000, increasing to £38,100 after taxes and benefits.” https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/personalandhouseholdfinances/incomeandwealth/bulletins/theeffectsoftaxesandbenefitsonhouseholdincome/financialyearending2022

So as a family you are on around twice average household income.

It will feel different from friends who have two above average earners in their household. Or perhaps they are racking up credit card debt. Or have family money helping them out.

As you say if it was just YOUR wage you’d be below average. I wonder if that is what is really bothering you?

whatausername · 17/09/2023 18:18

You're poor in self-awareness and in your understanding of the world.

Nowtbettertodo · 17/09/2023 18:18

Nah I'm not biting...

TheThinkingGoblin · 17/09/2023 18:18

SuperGinger · 17/09/2023 18:13

Presumably you also get child benefit and some government subsidised childcare. It sounds okay but if you live in London it won't go too far.

She would get zero ad husband makes over £60k

Lower earners in the UK are heavily subsidised by higher earners making £60k+

Its unsustainable.

Waferbiscuit · 17/09/2023 18:17

You're husband's not poor but you are.

Your post should really be questioning that fact and that it sounds like your 'poor-style wealth' relies on being latched onto a man.

That should keep you up at night, OP, not whether you can afford a wet bar.

Theimpossiblegirl · 17/09/2023 18:16

SuperGinger · 17/09/2023 18:13

Presumably you also get child benefit and some government subsidised childcare. It sounds okay but if you live in London it won't go too far.

She won't get child benefit, they are over the threshold. Definitely not poor enough for that.

Kay286 · 17/09/2023 18:15

Not poor but clearly very ignorant.

thesnailandthewhale · 17/09/2023 18:14

Single person, income £25k.
Very fortunate that I bought my house years ago and have a relatively small mortgage now.
No debts, (other than mortgage), which means I can sleep at night. I don't consider myself poor. If I had credit cards racked up with Botox etc then yes I would consider myself poor. It's not always as straight forward as it seems op.

sadaboutmycat · 17/09/2023 18:13

I have no words.

SuperGinger · 17/09/2023 18:13

Presumably you also get child benefit and some government subsidised childcare. It sounds okay but if you live in London it won't go too far.

flappersdelight · 17/09/2023 18:12

I'd class you as suffering from being unable to keep up with the Jones'. You're neither poor nor average.

hedgehogblanket · 17/09/2023 18:11

I do agree OP should be comfortable but actually one person earning 70k will be taking home less than two people on a combined salary of 70k.

Evaka · 17/09/2023 18:11

Why are people responding to what's clearly a joke post?

onestepfromgrace · 17/09/2023 18:10

You clearly lack intelligence and awareness. You can’t find a better word to use than poor, don’t you know what a thesaurus is, does this lack of intelligence extend to research skills? It certainly extends to numbers and your inability to budget is probably why you think you are poor. Do any of these words describe your household?

Are we classed as "poor" or average
DontGiveMeThatOldCrap · 17/09/2023 18:09

I think you're quite ridiculous, and also bragging. My husband and I live on £1050 a MONTH.